When pop was a boy
Iz pride and joy
Was just to have wheels wiv a mota

Tricked up didn’t play, not in their hood
Even though you could
End result wouldn’t lift the skin - off a rice pud

Real quick in that day
Only came by the way
Of serious a serious wedge of pay

Aston, Ferrari, you could take to the bank
Hemi, Stang and Vette for the yanks
For most just wall posters and wanks

These days it different, back from the dead
Universal balance has got out of bed
And delivered justice for the poor petrolhead

You can strut your stuff, in your supa caa
But the kid in a Rex or an EVO jam jar
Gonna embarrass you, you fucken rockstar

We quikka N you - its no pop quiz
These days turbos and nitrous is the biz
Nuffink about the money just how big your ***** is

Want to put up your half million Mclaren
Thats just a few tenths quicka, than a subbie wagon
Equipped wiv a teenage ****** called Darren?

We quikka N you - even with your cash
One real aspect in life, where design and dash
Triumphed over money and flash

We quikka N you

And don’t you forget it

Now get out of my way

Had I brought drinks all round
and entertained mother and daughters
and slipped a tenner a week
into bra-straps

had I been wild and amoral enough
to kiss the missus off to work and then let them in
hop back to bed with another warm body
and party like 1999

had I been rank and coarse enough
to treat them like ******
a quickie, here's a fiver
go buy yourself something sweet
hey ****! not a word
to the missus, yeah, of course not
yeah, had I been your average Winston

I would probably now
still be married, have a big fat job
a house in a nice area
and a couple of bottie-calls to keep things fresh

well I wasn't all those things
I am a man with a conscience, ethics and morals
yip, and look where all that got me

yeah! ya'all know the rest
no need to play the violin stuff again
and don't pretend you know nuffink
suffice to say our dear Saint is doing Saint duties

But know something though
would I do the same again assuming we could go back in time
and , wait for this
Yes, exactly as first time,
only this time I would have involved the Police
after that first incidence of Mr Thief-next door kicking our door in
yes, we should have gone straight to the Police, stupid me

otherwise, I will do same as before
its just the way I roll

the men never mature
reared my mummies who protect
given fluffy toys and teddies
ma cooks, washes and clean

in teens they do as they like
speaks to parents like mates
some even go to bed with parents
they all do what they like

no boundaries no discipline
no respect no orders no guidance
slightest stress its hives and reddening
gangly lanky  babies as fluffy as cotton
the gals know more and have to teach what to do

move from mum to partners
another female to run their lives
do the budgets, gives instructions
hand me your packet go play your video games
take john to the park, go kick your football
go to the pub go lark with yer mates

the men never mature
hefty but no substance no drive
childish half baked as limited as nuffink
easily influenced and led by popular culture
join the throng and do as the others do

we are the puppet masters
the great pretenders behind the aprons
without a partner we bolt to tinder or burn to cinders
our mums love us, they are the best
and now sometimes we can't tell the boys from the girls
and hey, that is cool
we are revolutionaries in our nightmares