Words...words, words
Words don't ******* work when your
Mind conducts the chorus ticking
Time distorts our memory until the
Image of ourselves is bleak and left
A lie, alone we shall only ever know
Not a single true thing that's happened...

I can't unlock the doors to my perception
Can't break the floor of my depression
The streets all pour out with indiscretion
Protesting our right to withhold confessions
This process wreaks havoc among friends...

They're just ******* sounds...
How niaeve of me to ever really believe that
I could get to know somebody.
To be deceived by my needs to
Exist socially among busy bees
But we're all just working.

Drinking on sweet honey
Lick her bottle neck when it drips
And don't worry darling when it stings
You're only getting the tip
You're only tasting your own buds
These grooves'll rub your toungue raw
And I saw the way you moved when
That vibration killed the mood and we
Lost the connection.

What do you say when faced the prospect of always being alone? When you are stuck like an echo in a long empty corridor. And for all the noise you make you are met with an immovable silence. When all your struggling stops and in stillness, you're sounds run from you.
It's sobering to think Contrary to niaeve childhood thoughts, "you will find your someone... that all will be well". But these thoughts are human and my feelings are sharp in my chest, from time to time they cut me. I would be crushed under the weight of these feelings if not for the hope that is found in Christ. If I am to find someone he is the hope I have till then. If I am to remain lonely I will not be alone, and I have hope to find a deeper meaning, deeper beauty in my solitude. My need for another person to love will never outweigh my need for Him.