Still,
Still I find myself surprised at the neglegence of human decency.
How sticky with tar,
Oozing from their insides,
Dark, consuming, disgusting,
Revealing of the soul underneath.

It still gets me,
That people can get that. . . sick
On the inside.

You're sick,
Overridden with this illness,
This apathy and vindictive hatred.
It consumes you.
Soon, very soon,
There will be nothing left of you
But tar and ashes.

It's almost too much to hold in.
I scream out,
"Rest in pieces, you heinous *****!"

I'm telling you, still,
I find myself surprised at the neglegence of human decency.

There is something about everyone of us, we live to shamble at a point in time maybe due to neglegence or careless thought in our head or the hustle and bustle of life or because we are just lost within ourselves.

I realise this though I have spent a lot of my time searching for what makes me human but for get what makes me super-human, searching for what makes me fall but not how to stand again, searching for what makes me crawl not what can make me fly.

Then I realise I miss myself, I miss writing, I miss thinking, I miss creativity, I miss quietness, I miss the still small voice.

I miss LIFE..... But am back to make it up.

Rest, Sleep, Excersice
Drugs, Pills, Therapy
A chemical imbalence in the brain
My will lost
Do others really understand
We don't care
I know people will be sad
I know my family cares
I know they will miss me
But what about others

Others could care less
A week later their interest is lost
They stop remembering
They didn't know you
Maybe they did
But they dont care

BUT I DO!

What will crumble
What will die
What will stop
Who will be hurt
Who will care
Does anyone really care
Because if they live
What does it matter if I..

I want someone to truely care
Not because I'm ****** up in the head
But because I exist

No matter what you own
How much money you have
Who you're married to
Or dating
What you drive
Who you're related to
What you do

It doesnt change the fact that I'm

I'm not suicidal
I just dont care anymore
I just wish the whole world could just disappear
And I wish to my hearts disire
That everything and everyone could freeze
That time would stop
Except for me
So I could live my life without lives pressure
No appointments
No expectations
No laws or rules
No worry about
What people are thinking of you

I could sit alone with no hastle
or rush or time restraints
With my thoughts of them and me
And what life could be

But sooner or time will resume
I just wish I could control when

Most like me want the same
But choose and less sleep
Not one they can resume
Because stopping time is impossible
I guess so is gaining back my will to live

I know others are worse
And you stab me in the darkest of nights
But all I want is someone to listen
You attack me when I can sleep
Whether its at night or on a bridge
All I want is for you to stop but then I feel empty
And what's the use of that
At least when I'm depressed I feel pain
And sorrow but in day to day life
All it is is fake smiles and lies
That all I am is tired
Because with depression and fatigue
All you want is the same thing
Sleep
I just wish for the day I say I'm tired
You'll say no your not
Lets talk
I cry in pain when you walk away
But understand you dont understand
Many wonder why I'm always so sad but
The truth is I'm not
I do get little sleep but that doesnt effect me anymore
I have to stand there smileing looking down acting
Tired as I'm truely just hiding the tears
You say oh okay and walk away
Its happened a million times
Each time it rips off 1 piece of what I'm hanging onto
But I only started with 100
1,000,000 to 100 is a huge difference
Yes now all they do is rip a piece of nothing but they take it anyways
Because thats what people do
They take and take and take and take and take and take and take
Until you have nothing but then they'll still continue
To destroy you and why
Because

Because is all you'll get from them
There's NOT A ******* REASON
I have asked
I have asked a tormentor before
Why?
He sat there looked down and couldnt come up with
A SIGNLE ******* THING
Silence is the answer
So what is the reason
I don't know

But what IS the reason
Fathers leave their own children
Other humans attack other humans physically, verbally and especially mentally
People steal money a family in need truely needs
People break into peoples houses
People attempt suicide
People live
Live

Whats the reason
People die
People bully or harass
People expect A ****** MUSICIAN TO KNOW WHAT THE GOSH FORSAKEN NAME OF A ******* GENERAL OF SOME STUPID WAR THAT HAPPENED 200, 300 YEARS AGO

There's flaws in mankind
Some accept them
Some play neglegence
Some try to fix them

But in Acceptance theres many ways to accept mankind is mankind
Accepting it for what it is
Accepting it and moving on
Accepting it and providing input
Or help
Accepting it in death
After all thats why we all came here isnt it?
To die.