matteus is dead
a flower lays next to his head
as crimson as his lips
paper-thin and spreading rigidly.
his smile is small and ungiving as he would will it
so short-lived in my favor
so indifferent to my sentiments.
i am a shadow dancing on his gravestone
clutching needless memories as if they were a cornerstone.
i used to want him as mine.
crave what could never be
stoking and kindling
what never ignited.
matteus came and went.
matteus was never here.
matteus is gone for good,
and with him my senses.

your curious gaze,
teasing smile, laughter. languid
like straight tequila.

ever flowing and
missing the rim of my cup
an intentful flow.

alikened to shame and
reddened on my dark cheeks like
ripened tomatoes.

you are a pleasant
sharp tasting fruit. bitter yet
ready to be plucked.

vineless. ever free.
forbidden. incandescent
and reflective shine.

matteus is sickly sweet.
residue on my thighs
and an ache in my teeth.
he is incessant on my mind
and absent from my bed.
part of me wishes him gone
part of me wishes to see him again.