My sweet lady, I’m off kilter,
Wooed by all your lovely charms,
Here’s some maca for your philter,
Need to have you in my arms

Want your loving legs around me,
Want your loving arms as well,
Have to say your curves astound me,
Got to make your sailor swell,

Want to voyage through your straits,
Lovely portal made of jade,
Let my tongue throw wide the gates,
And let the choicest love be made

Let me sing you lovely music,
Let me try to make you swoon,
Here’s my flesh (O please abuse it!),
While my eyes reflect the moon

Lover laughing lovely there,
Behind your smiling eyes so deep,
In my mental pictures fair,
Close my eyes to try to keep,

Each new moment we’re entwined,
For each one seems to top the last,
Hold me close and expand my mind,
Draw me near, and hold me fast

The Whitlams sing that “There’s no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth beauty and a picture of you”
Unfortunately the lyrics kinda go down hill from there, I am unsure what they were drinking or smoking as they wrote the rest of the lyrics, but they wasted a perfectly good start to a song by continuing to drink/smoke as they wrote, just my opinion, but  I digress.
Why are we as a whole world seemingly obsessed with things that we think are going to improve ours or someone else’s *** performance. Chinese herbal medical is full of such “remedies “as is some European countries. I might add Chinese medical is also full of treatments that actually work too. Ok so I know I’ve shown my hand a bit early as to where I am going with this but heres the thing.
I am no expert on ***; I have nothing to really prove or disprove that statement but heres my theory anyway.
If you think that taking a potion is going to give yours or some one else’s *** drive magical powers, well maybe I need to ask why do you want that in the first place. I understand people have physical and mental issues that affect ****** performance but, consuming ground rhino horn or Spanish Fly, which ironically isn’t from Spain or a fly, and the bug it is made from is REALLY nasty, I don’t think is the solution.
So here my solution to the whole problem whilst still using all of the top ten things people believe are aphrodisiac’s.
1/ Find a person whom you look at and go,” Well she/he’s a bit of alright” best said with a British accent, ask them out to dinner.
2/ Have an entrée of fresh oysters washed down with a glass of Chablis but don’t over do it on the alcohol.
3/ Ensure your main meal includes something low in fat and high in nutrition
4/ Order Chocolate anything as a desert.
5/Talk to the person during dinner and tell them if you are happy with your life or sad and the reasons why.
6/ When you are finished dinner go for a short walk talking about anything that pops into your head and allowing the other person to do the same, hence building up a level of respect between the two of you.
7/ If you end up going somewhere to have ***, before u do, go online and donate to the “save the Rhino fund” once again building up the respect that you have for each other for donating to a worthy cause and helping your own self esteem
8/Ensure u take some aspirin with u to take in the morning in case u had little too much Chablis.
And that pretty much covers it.
1. Ground Rhino horn
2. Spanish Fly
3. Alcohol
4. Chocolate
5. Oysters
6. Yohimbe, Tribulus, Maca i.e. [All traditional African herbs]
7. ******
8. Psychoanalysis
9. Getting in Shape
10. Respect
And no I didn’t miss anything, if restaurant is Spanish and outdoors, and Aspirin was found originally in Willow bark a naturally occurring herb and the rest, read between the lines
Well ok you got me on the ****** thing but all it does is increase blood flow and give you an ******* that wont go away, that would seem annoying not a turn on , so I left it out.
Good luck to us all.
In hind sight with all the time it took me to write this I could have just listened to track 1 and not track 3  and said, The Whitlams have a really cool song called “ Blow up the Pokies” I agree with everything they say in that song and it makes complete sense. That way you wouldn’t have had to read all the other stuff. Unlucky for you I guess
Besides talking about blowing up stuff these days can get you locked up in a detention centre for an indeterminate time. And that would be really no good for your *** life anyways unless you bat for the other team, which I don’t. So track three probably was wise choice after all.

again hot maca-
dame; sun warmed back. shadow leads
east. dewed fresh cut grass.

i'm starting to really see it as the next Kenya,
the Maldives or some obscure care
for a seashell...
   exotica of an exile... funny how
there's no book entitled: the exile...
      oh the misery of the jew,
double afront with israel being met -
that there's the book of exodus,
   but there's no book of exile -
  czerwone korale!
   czerwone niczym wino!
korale z polnej jarzębiny!
i łzy dziewczyny wielkie łzy! -
i cite those words, to quote the unconscious,
to cite the primodal drive to
   a feeding to relocate to a
   shared ethnicity, nothing
to concern the spave voyage...
to craft global economy, and
cite Neil Armstrong...
   to be level headed, and to be of the earth
bound, and unto earth returned...
    best be readied to accept
morality, than dream-up immortality...
but i am a marriage...
i am but a marriage...
      i dance to a polonais, and i dance to
a viennese waltz! and i shout hey!
and i shout tango! too...
                 such that the song be folk,
and be the song of rowan...
          and given global affairs:
it's nothing but cheap, a care to huddle,
a care to hide...
   a care to ask for a tortoise shell
and equal worth of year upon year
to match up to the most deserved
  wise-men talk of immortality:
the żółw and the dąb:
   Mietek! pats na ten żółwidąb!
do tańca Mietek! do tańca!
na tron oko sokoła! nic po nas z tą
flegmą reszty, co o cycek
           świni maca pocałunek, i ssa dobytek!
pierdolone kuci kuci, hyda... mlask
takiej miłości! obfity w usta zamoczone
   w piździe i oleju. ach nie to!
dawaj panie! niech tym dodać
co nie jeden tchu hyd!
                 jak złodziej Tuwim...
  ja też pragne wtargać sie w tło Ęngliszczyzny;
ach nie tak...
            ratój panie Bank! ratój panie dynamo!
ratój panie swój ostatni włos!
a patem panie bij go panie,
         ten jedyny włos... o kłos!
a wtedy z takiego poczynania: wydób księge!

in love with the sign language i taught myself: wave, and then extend your *******... it's called a hang-job in signlanguage; it's like waving a goodbye, with the goodbye being more a ****-off, than a goodbye: god give me better grace, i love the shake of the hand as if jerking off, and subsequently the extended ******* to add the compliment; ****! it almost feels like the welsh V!

i know how it feels being an "illegal" immigrant,
second time round though?
   legal as a kite, or a yellow submarine,
but that's beside the point, as i told my father
today: you've seen the state of english
these days? these acronyms and the middle
class favouritism of emojis?
you've seen it? this is a language?!
these are covert methods to prevent people
from learning computing code!
**** em, someone has to shove em,
kick em up their lazy **** *****!
           work you cunty *** sleazes!
work! what? not congregating on
the monasteries? imagine me as a rabid
dog, owned by henry viii, about to chew
off your leg!
   ****** thinks i'm not "properly" integrated...
so why is it, that i know english language
better than your ****** populace?!
riddle me that, all day, from monday through
to sunday, and the irish bank holiday,
a ****** like me loves a bit of
riverdance on the sly...
       so?
                hello?!
                   so you gonna ******* do it,
or retreat into your lil 'obbit 'ole?
******* *******...
         no wonder the i.r.a. gave up:
who gives a toss about fighting transvestite
***** after 20+ odd years...
even the spies were like: you will not
find me engaging in this sort of *****
for the next 'undred years...
   i'll genuflect st. paddy's shamrock
and call it jewish twice over,
than behave like those, ******* perverts
of the ęnglischspreschen* -
and that's what you call fishing,
my mired youngling.
i tol my papa: ******* keepin' wit'
the times?!
    look at 'em... ugly 'n' "spontaneous"
like the ******* elephant man...
         ooh: goonah fly an eff off wit a kyt...
like **** you yo will...
     fly me a yorkshire spud 'stead 'irst...
you ******* dartford dodger....
       said the 'ackney lass...
see: i speak more english than the 'acking
english....
     it's about akin to 'eaching poker:
you learn the cockers:
you learn the:
                   two doors down luv,
and if ders no shlang for that 'ort of phrase:
there ****** ought to be, next week:
    ya 'acking cockney 'onker!
now i feel like a right *******...
         or like i really need a propah
jerking off... which is y means that
it can only be
answered in jai jai, or the slip of tongue
on led zeppelin's d'yer mak'er, as
the scots 'aid - druid in make-em mon -
   what's that, maca ******* roons?
       tall order, for slanging off almonds,
****, 'et's toast 'em,
           ******* were never gonna
          learn the ******* bagpipes anyway
just tell 'em to learn the dog whistle,
or the orchestra's triangle.

I
Like
Maca
Roni

My sweet lady, I’m off kilter,
Wooed by all your lovely charms,
Here’s some maca for your philter,
Need to have you in my arms

Want your loving legs around me,
Want your loving arms as well,
Have to say your curves astound me,
Got to make your “sailor” swell,

Want to voyage through your straits,
Lovely portal made of jade,
Let my tongue throw wide the gates,
And let the choicest love be made

Let me sing you lovely music,
Let me try to make you swoon,
Here’s my flesh (O please abuse it!),
While my eyes reflect the moon

Lover laughing lovely there,
Behind your smiling eyes so deep,
In my mental pictures fair,
Close my eyes to try to keep,

Each new moment we’re entwined,
For each one seems to top the last,
Hold me close and expand my mind,
Draw me near, and hold me fast

Chica Baca laca maca....et cetera,
Where the lady sunfish are gold,
And  are truth tellers,
And the chain pickerals are bold,
And truth be told,
Those chains could not hold,
For Chaca Baca laca maca... whatever,
As Lake Unabash is known,
Was more humble when it was cold.

Baca daca lacka Baca Goo,
In the native or Lake Unabash will do,
The green male sunfish had electric gills,
Like neon lightning went up through,
But now wear a pumpkinseed coat,
So fall color is always new,
And the lady bass jump in the boat,
To tell the skipper where to go.

Shooka booka lacha nooka....
Or just Lake Trudeau,
The old catfish still fly their whiskers,
But only at night in bubble whispers,
For all the show is during day,
When a mother musky eats a duckling on its way,
Then to a fisherman turns to say,
I am a truth teller,
And you men have had your time!

Chaka ooka alla moola,
Or just Lake ****** truth be told,
Was more humble when it was cold,
Now the water recedes the lake,
And with summer lasting later,
"Hey how ya doing" from a stranger,"
And now new to Lake Annoy,
The alligator fills the void.