"lunarlullubies" poems
“Cold snowflakes upon my arm
the winter shine peeking through a crack in the blinds
a breeze of ice engulfing the room through a window left ajar
a land covered in a shiny white blanket.”
Winter has come. Cue the thick padded coats and the parkas of every color of the rainbow! Behold the sleds and skis and the beautiful Siberian huskies who pull them. Await the closing of schools and the temperature drops, keeping people in and making children everywhere euphoric as ever. The time has come for skating upon rivers of ice, and joyous dinners in warm wooly sweaters as families gather around to indulge in the tastiest of food. Fireplaces shall again be lit in all households of old, and stockings hung up early in preparation for Christmas. Happy smiles all around, engaging in snowball fights and the building of snowmen.
Ah but winter is as winter does. As numbers reach the negatives, heaters are turned up to the warmest possible, insulating the beings in a home and using electricity. What about those without a home? Those who are confined to the streets of the city, waiting for the cold to eat their bodies up and leave them in a state of rigidity? They are left to waste. Left to succumb to the bitterness of winter, with no sustenance whatsoever or any form of water to soothe their burning throats. The cold will conceal them in a cover of white death, a prison of snow. And in the early mornings of every winter-filled day, a machine is sent out to collect the bodies of those who have been imprisoned by the winter. The one operating the machine weeps silent tears for these ice prisoners before bringing their poor souls elsewhere.
Winter is two-faced, and she is both beautiful and terrible as the morning and the night.
(lunarlullubies)
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 9:22 AM UTC
I was a tiny fragment of darkness, struggling to find my way in the light. I was evolving, and metamorphozing every minute. My particles broke up into smaller particles and soon I was to become a mere speck of nothing, in this universe of light.
I couldn’t find my way. I was lost.
It concealed me in a shadow of pain. I could feel as it consumed me bit by bit.
Pain, I didn’t know what it was, except that it left me in distress and ice cold tears.
The light seemed to fade.
The pain disappeared, and the mere speck of nothing that I was transcended into the darkness where I really belong.
(lunarlullubies)
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 9:17 AM UTC
I have seen all the stars passing by in the night sky
I have wondered at the sounds the nocturnal make
I have gazed at the planets in the distance
I have listened to the soft rumble of the city in the distance
I have done all these because I am sleepless
(lunarlullubies)
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 7:26 AM UTC
It’s New Year’s Eve.
Cue the colorful ads all around the neighborhood, on park benches and random building pillars, and the commercials of that big city countdown in the middle of town. Cold winter snowflakes still on palms of those trudging through the layers of snow on the streets. The day stretches into the night as half the city prepares for that special midnight moment. Lipsticks applied and makeup spilled, dresses snatched from the stores and shoes grabbed from their shelves. As the hour draws near, everyone is gathered, waiting for the party to begin.
Lights are turned up, adrenaline is rushed, people are hyped and lives are being restored in their dead bodies.
Cheerful voices of the hosts fill the air, and a band plays in the background. Instruments contributing to the life of the party.
11:59 P.M.
Timers are set and cameras are ready.
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2…
1!
Sky flowers cover the stars in a burst of sparks, and the sound of cameras snapping photos can be heard among the crying and screaming.
Lips are locked, embraces are warm and photos are Instragram-ed.
The night is young and hearts are joyful.
Such is the beauty of this one night.
(lunarlullubies)
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 5:26 AM UTC
I always told myself to not do something that ****** one’s conscience.
Don’t tear the leaves or flowers from their roots. Do you not hear their screams of white noise and agony? Do you not see their blood drip onto the forest floor as you cared not for them but for your own selfish pleasures, to have their beauty in your hand?
Don’t listen to the voices that resonate off the walls. Do you not understand how that will satiate the undying hunger in the voids of your mind? Do you not know how it will churn your insides and burn the base of your soul?
Don’t look for the things you have lost. Do you not wonder why they would go missing in the first place? Do you not know that the wolves in the base of your spine have been unleashed?
Don’t stare at the beings in the universe around you. Do you not realize the trouble that would put you in? Do you not know that a single misadventure of the eyes will often lead to shiny blades with long handles in your torso?
Don’t overthink at night. Do you not know that the spirits in your atmosphere will steal your thoughts and add nightmares to them so you’ll have bad dreams? Do you not keep your thoughts in golden cages under massive padlocks and curvy keys?
(lunarlullubies)
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 10:41 AM UTC
Amid the millions of snow drops falling from the sky, she awaits reaching home to be with her family on Christmas Day. Her thick coat of fur kept her warm, and her excited beating heart comfy. She turns the key and swings the door open, letting a draft in. "I'm home!" She shouts and happy screams erupt, along with the pitter patter of feet as people run towards the door. She is greeted by her family, with many hugs and kisses. She hangs the coat up and joins them at the dinner table.
A candle-lit feast with delicious roasted turkey and meat of all kinds. She notes that there are at least three different kinds of cheese and an assortment of vegetables and also colorful desserts. The atmosphere was lovely, and laughter filled the air. She ate slowly, relishing every flavor of goodness she tasted. The plates that adorned the table were soon empty in a matter of hours and bellies were filled.
She sat in front of the tree, with beautiful lights in neon colors, and snow angels on every other branch. This was true happiness to her. Shiny baubles and adorable Santas also put a smile on her face. But, the star. Oh that star. It reigned supreme at the crown of the tree, brighter than any other star she'd seen in the night sky. It fueled the Christmas spirit in the house, banishing all negativity. She looked at the foot of the tree, and there they were, carefully wrapped in the prettiest wrapping paper one could ever find. There were designs of the world map, and some others of animals and mythical creatures. They made presents extra special. The family soon joined her, delicately removing the wrappers of their presents. Each sent shivers down spines and initiated a mass hugging session and gratitude. She watched as everyone thanked each other for their lovely gifts, before heading back to the hall to continue with celebrations. She realized that she hasn't yet opened hers and picked up the remaining presents with her name in cursive. Slowly opening each of them, she folded the wrapping papers neatly in a pile beside her. Every one of the presents was specially chosen for her: a book on the universe, a unicorn statue, a top adorned with tiny suns and the most precious of all, a book of photos of the ocean. She loved them, and went to embrace her family members again and thanked them dearly for the presents.
She loved Christmas, but it was ending soon. She said a silent prayer, thanked the stars in her heart and started taking the decorations down one by one.
(lunarlullubies)
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 9:48 AM UTC
i. The calm of the sea calls out to me like a sweet bitter song written on vengeful manuscripts left in a barren recording studio. I lay on the vessel, listening as the sea faeries whisper my name from the sea foam, asking me to stop the vessel I am on. I ignored them, for they are faeries which are clearly a figment of my imagination. The waves grew angry, and the sky overcast. Grey clouds surrounded us and lightning started to strike. A deep hollow sound erupted from somewhere above, and I knew that the faeries were infuriated. I rushed to the captain, a handsome, clean shaven man and begged him to stop the Costa Victoria. At seeing my pathetic self, he agreed to stop it and shut down all engines. The sea grew calm again, but we were stuck in the sea, the captain and I. The crew members were virtually nonexistent, as were the other passengers on board. They, of course, were merely evidence of an earthen world, and with the faeries’ storm, they had ceased to continue existing. I set off for the lifeboats with the captain in hand, a smile plastered on my usually dead face.
ii. Treacherous were the waves that stared back at me when my eyes took a detour out of the balcony. They were harsh and unforgiving, roaring and rumbling beneath me. They didn’t disappear, but instead swallowed the night whole with an unprecedented strength.
iii. The sea was an endless expanse of black and white anguish, and in the horizon, an unknowing danger loomed, threatening to swallow us up whole if we didn’t continue our speed of 22 knots.
(lunarlullubies)
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 4:13 AM UTC
call upon me like a sweet, bitter scent
with lovely tingles in every word you speak
the softest lips that i could ever seek,
right in the belly of the beast.
(lunarlullubies)
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
holed up in a little cottage
she questions her existence
and watched as the wind blew her life away
and took it to the lands beyond far-seeing eyes
deep inside the dark devil’s home where it resided in a glass jar.
her limp body cringed as it writhed in pain from sinew to sinew; crevasse to crevasse and nerve to nerve
she asked, “why?” again as she felt sensations of an unfamiliar sort before falling slumber to the subtle tricks of her mind
and awoke to the screams of her soul as it was ripped from her bodice in strange, unnatural ways
she could only look on as the devil stole it for his own cruel pleasure
and as her body faded into the colors of hell
and burned with the fires that never die.
(lunarlullubies)
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:31 AM UTC
Did you notice me standing on the sidewalk a little ways from the both of you? I don't know if it was a dream but I remember slicing a part of my arm to let my crimson blood drip onto the ground to mix with precipitation and flow into the sewers to feel something, to feel confirmation that it was only a dream. I felt the pain, saw the blood and still you were there, intertwined around her like ribbon around a gift. I think of the times when you showed up right outside my door, looking desperate and deprived, and I still catered to your every need even though a little voice in my head screamed STOP HE'S USING YOU as it cut into my nerves and shook my conscience. Yet I broke all the rules for you, committing modern day badass-ery. And even now I question you on whether you would break your clock and volunteer time you didn't have for me. You wouldn't, I think, you didn't even speak to me and you answer awkwardly, like snakes were choking you and constricting your windpipe and as if acid were burning your larynx to the point of muting you when I did. I stopped questioning you and let you be for a very long while even though the little voice protested that I should think for myself. You seeing me started becoming a privilege because you only showed up once in a while to lock lips and embrace me. I don't remember a single day where all we did was just get ice-creams and chill somewhere with the company of only each other.
I was used and boy is it emphasized as you stand a little ways from me, wrapped around her.
I see you kissing her like how you kissed me, putting your arms around her like how you did me. But will she ever know how the love I had for you engulfed you in a dark shadow, stretching to the galaxies beyond and appealing to the moon for it's blessing? I knew, from that moment on, that loving you is mistake I will never make again. Even if I'm breaking down at 2 am suppers, consuming yogurt by the tub and pulling all of my hair out because of that one kiss I saw you share with someone I trusted, I will never tear my heart in two ever again just to share a piece with you for I know you won't care for it. Don't burn me with the memories we had since I have set them on fire the moment I saw you and her.
But I don't have the strength to keep myself standing upright as I stand a little ways from you wrapped around her, and I crumble to the ground, shattering into ash...
(lunarlullubies)
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 3:50 AM UTC
I’ve been observing your camaraderie with ladies who are not me, and I have to say it makes my heart stop for many minutes at a time and I fear my life is hanging on an edge. Please save me.
The last time I kissed you, you smelled like smoke and cologne and my system is burning like a city on fire, everytime you say I love you because your eyes turn somewhere far beyond the atmosphere we’re breathing in, almost as if those three little words were meant for somebody else.
When you said those words to me, your eyes were always far off, looking into the distance, like it was all a lie, and me being gullible, I believed it. For I loved you so as I trusted you.
You lean in and your lips kiss me good night, but all I can taste is good bye, good bye. I want to be your good morning. I want to wake up next to you with your heart handcuffed to my chest and I want you to feel the burn, the fire that creates sparks in my veins, every time we hold hands. I want to be the one, sorry, I want to be the only one that gives you a home in the valleys of my collarbones.
I hope that you would stay in this home I’ve built, and lie with me for every night after. Stay and don’t ever leave. You have no idea how I shiver and how my body shakes with epileptic spasms coupled with screaming and I didn’t think I would survive all that. Every time you leave, you leave a super massive black hole in my chest and it aches so horribly that I can’t even stand. Don’t leave.
I’ve been observing your camaraderie with ladies who are not me, I hope one day, you’ll come back to your senses and observe that despite every downside, I will always look at you as once in a lifetime opportunity, that this love, our love, my love for you will always be constant and that I don’t need camaraderie in my vocabulary, when I already have love written on the corners of your mouth.
-x.o & t.m (@lunarlullubies & @strawfaerie)
Mar 29, 2014
Mar 29, 2014 at 1:50 AM UTC
It might hit you all at once, or a little by little. It’s best if the former happens, because feeling nothing is worse than feeling something.
It starts with a dull pain in the abdomen (science can’t explain this) and it intensifies once you have fully made sense of the situation.It is like a gas stove, with varying sizes of flames, big and small. It burns now, and you feel extreme discomfort throughout your torso.
You want to lie down, to tear your heart out and wash it thoroughly with iced water, because the fires burning inside of you are too hot to bear. But, once you do lay yourself down, the screaming starts, and your vision blurs. Hot tears escape your eyes and it doesn’t stop there. Pillows are thrown across the room and before you know it, your frail body is sprawled out on the floor in a mess of arms, legs, blood and more tears.
You’d think that staying the same way for the whole night is a good thing to do; lying on the bed you once shared with the cause of your torment is too torturous to bear. But, you’d tire of crying before long and eventually you’re fast asleep on the soft bed, under layers and layers of thick quilts.
However, when you awaken, the feelings start again, and you are unable to walk. You are on your bed for the whole day for what seems like eternity to you.
After a month or so of nightly wails, you’ll wake up one day feeling none of that ******** The fires will have been extinguished by then and everything will be fine.
You are fire-proof once more.
(lunarlullubies)
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 7:10 AM UTC
Never have I seen such a fine immaculate thing such as yourself.
With impeccable features on every part of you.
Intricate hairlines with the same latitude as Montego Bay.
Wavy curls that go like the Pacific Ocean.
Soft and tiny hands with moisture abound that make my skin tingle at your touch.
Your scent – lingers around you like a fresh rose: thorn-free and beautiful. It intoxicates me and exhilarates my senses, refreshing my mind and bringing me into overdrive.
This is how you are.
(lunarlullubies)
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:26 AM UTC
Why do I envision you on top of me?
Why do I crave the feelings we might both feel?
I see you in the dark lit club we frequent and I know.
I know you want me, and I made it obvious that I want you too.
Now follow me.
Follow my voice.
Are you ready?
Bodies touching, hearts beating, lips pressed against each other.
Arms wrapped, legs intertwined.
My skin interlaced with yours.
Warm breaths on your neck, irresistible whispers in your ear.
Count the thrusts with me.
One, your body convulses
Two, you gasp
Three, you call my name
Four, you grip the sheets
Five, you shout something inaudible to the stars above
Six, you whisper a word of gratitude
Seven, you thank me again with your lips on mine.
(lunarlullubies)
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 7:27 AM UTC
Golden brown, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie staring at you from the dinner table. We give gratitude to everything good that has ever happened to us. The date, an indecisive number, moves back one every year until 22, then it moves up to 28 again. The family gathers round and say their thank yous before the glorious feast and parades are heard out on the streets. Everyone is hugged and kissed before the beautiful day after Thanksgiving begins and people can flock the stores they love.
(lunarlullubies)
Nov 29, 2013
Nov 29, 2013 at 9:02 AM UTC
Silence me with handwritten notes on small books and blank paper and bury them with me if I should die tonight. My soul will take them to the nether regions where they will be preserved. But if I should lose them, find them and get them back to me.
For they are as precious as the jewels of the earth, and as beautiful as the complexities of your mind. Now I rather I never wrote them for I might still be breathing the breaths I barely ever did.
So watch me as my dying soul breaks my fragile bodice and sends it to the hell where you are not present.
(lunarlullubies & forsakengirlhue)
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 6:19 AM UTC
She was interested in the world and its history,
even those from way before the age of men.
She wondered about dragons and wizards and magical things like unicorns.
She was never really interested in the logical explanations of mathematical equations and the language of communism;
she only craved learning about history.
Indiana Jones was and still is her inspiration and idol,
leaving her in awe with his knowledge.
She could never express herself in the light strokes of paintbrushes,
but could only write – poems and stories, and beautiful adoxography adorned her notes and paper
She even filled her wall with them.
(lunarlullubies)
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
I think about the end a lot, and there are just a whole bunch of messed up thoughts swirling around in my head, and I cannot contain them for long. My thoughts are stars that I cannot fathom into constellations.
They’d be swimming in the endless pool of my own brain fluid, but then again, no one really knows why brain fluid is called brain fluid. No one explained the origin of words, meaning and even of what I am writing right now. How is it that you comprehend whatever I am trying to put across in this form? I know our brains process the information it receives by sound waves or visual waves and then turns it into something we call understanding and knowledge. No one understands the world out of sciencey terms and things that are found on textbooks, and I don’t either.
I live alright without acknowledging the existence of an unknown deity who is presumed to account for everything that happens on this earth, and really I don’t even know how people came to the conclusion of putting themselves below gods. It is confusing you see, and sometimes I also wonder why anything with eggs is considered breakfast only.
The thing is, we pretend to understand what we are trying to comprehend, and then we turn this information that we assume into knowledge for others, in hope that the human species can now fully determine the reason for everything.
In actual fact, no one knows why anything happens.
There are many theories behind death and whether or not anything happens after that.
Some say that a person’s soul is ****** out of them by the higher-ups when they are brought to Judgment – the area between heaven and hell.
I don’t know anything about death and dying cells, I only know that you have left me, and the body I once embraced is now lying ten feet beneath the earth in a wooden case, still as a rock. Why has this happened, Augustus? Tell me why. I stand here, a little ways from what used to be you, and I wonder so much and so far about the future and everything that ever was you. You’ve left me for capital S somewhere and I don’t want this to be, but it is.
I miss you, Augustus Waters, and everything that ever was and ever will be you. I miss the kisses we shared and our trip to Amsterdam and our first meeting… Every memory that we have ever beheld is in my mind all the time and I keep second-guessing myself, asking whether you’ve really left or you’re still here, but just hiding.
Come out of the shadows that hide you and please reveal yourself, for I miss you so.
I want you to say you’re okay, and maybe okay will be our always.
(lunarlullubies)
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:11 AM UTC
Stalking silently, the predator watches in the deep.
Noticing your every move
Craving your every scent
The predator knows your fear.
He feels it in the air like a virus.
You can’t evade him.
(lunarlullubies)
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:27 AM UTC
I feel jealous of the shirt that clings ever so tightly to you because it does a better job than my weak arms ever did.
I feel jealous of the belt that holds your pants up in immeasurable strength that I could never defeat.
I feel jealous of the watch you look at every other minute because I know you will never look at me like that ever again.
I am jealous of the articles you call your own, because I will never be.
(lunarlullubies)
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 7:00 AM UTC
i. The rumble of thunder signified a storm.
ii. The rain fell like my soul onto the withering ground.
iii. I watched as every drop fell like eternity.
iv. A flash of light, a deep, dull sound and the crash of air.
v. Her heart beat in unison with the happenings of the sky.
vi. Gravity pulled the rain right out of the sky, onto the world below.
(lunarlullubies)
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 7:06 AM UTC
All is lost for I still look to you for comfort even if it's just taking a mental picture of you. I remember everything - from the scent of your skin to the way you walk. I tried so hard, to mask the pain, to forget the memories, but all is in vain. How can one forget something that was a part of her mind, covered in tissue and broken memory? I've torn my head and heart in two just so I could keep you in my thoughts. I've ignored advice and left tensions in conversations just so I could still be yours. But you've convinced me time and time again that all I've done has gone to waste. You've gone ahead to plant your lips on another so ask me why I still care. It might be the flowers you grew in my heart or the wind that blew me away, but i knew from the first glance I would protect your heart if it were mine to keep. But you took your heart back and gave it to another, leaving my arms empty and mind delirious.
I was young and foolish, but I'd love you despite what you've done.
(lunarlullubies)
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 6:56 AM UTC
A whip across multiple hearts
A kick to the knees
A bullet to the head
A knife upon tongues
An end to all pain would be to look for Death himself
(lunarlullubies)
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 7:02 AM UTC
“Wild oak wood, crafted to exact precision by the finest carpenter
with Victorian carvings on the back and Persian feline paws to position itself upon the floor.”
This chair holds a secret.
Unlike any other of its kind, it perceives the world behind the nature of things.
It understands the complexities of our anatomy.
Holds us when we have reached our limits in a timeless grasp.
Yet we take it for granted.
Abandoned it in unkind places, thrown it into burning flames.
But as I said, it’s unlike any other of its kind.
Fire fuels its soul and enlivens every crack and splinter.
Fire is its friend, and has protected it.
When we have not.
This formidable structure of unknown origin and name stalks the halls silently at midnight.
(lunarlullubies)
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:29 AM UTC
You have to understand that you have me writing run on sentences on the palms of my hands I miss you I miss you I miss you. I can almost feel your exhales travel around my neck and they’re choking me, and I’m suffocating for your hands on my waist do you have any idea on how much I miss you?
And every wall of my room just seems to contain your face on them – or is it just me missing you? You run through every nerve in my mind, breaking connections and leaving me unable to breathe every time you do. Why do you make yourself a broken memory?
Why do you make me broken? You could rip my chest open and find your initials written on the sides of my beaten up heart and it is screaming your name, almost like an out of tune sonnet but I still think it’s beautiful anyway that it’s learned to memorize the way your full name is pronounced even after the countless time you’ve turned your back on me and walked away.
I’d think of your name backwards and horizontally while it floats around in the abyss in my head, and I’m struggling to close the home I made deep inside the safety of my ribcage, just for you.
Just for you. For you. You, I would bleed myself alive, just for you - to understand that my system is made out of the music in your voice and the rhythm of your heartbeat. I will make you understand that this universe is not simply a competition of who makes it out alive, but a game of living and loving and loving again. Do you have any idea about how much I love you? Do you have any idea how much I fall on my knees every night, begging a god that one day you’ll wake up and love me like I love you? I want to be the air, your lungs take in every morning as a reminder that every day is a new day to kiss the sun a good morning and an advanced good night.
You have no idea how I long to be the sunlight that touches your skin when you draw the blinds and let the morn shine in. I long to have my arms wrapped around you like how they tell you to hug a tree when you are lost and this Is how I am, lost and you are what I need to find myself again.
-x.o & t.m (@lunarlullubies & @strawfaerie)
Mar 28, 2014
Mar 28, 2014 at 7:23 AM UTC