The cop asked me for my license to which
I replied what the hell is that.
Officer Tillman  I belive i met your wife in a restroom
down at the laundrymat.
She didnt do ya justice.
Cause you arent  all that ugly
but you are kinda fat.

No my last name isnt Knoxville  but I
sure had some fun in Tennessee.
Met darlin that left a burnin feelin behind just for me.

My life is like a tweenty four hour cartoon.
A wreckless wonder.
If ya wanna ride along theres always room.

Gotta babydoll I often reffer to as Tinker.
She's my favorite semi insane funsize drinker.

Got a amigo or two.
Some fake ID's  cause some people just happen to be looking
for me.
I thought you already knew.

Some people like to hate.
Clive.  Forrest.  Ian.
Dont be jelouse your still living togather in the same basement
no hope ever having none inflatable
date.

Iv'e taken some pretty hard licks.
Put my mind in a blender .
Now all im left with is becon bits.
Im the  ******* of poetry alone I hold the crown.
Some might call me a village idoit.
But I would say im most fun fella in town.

And if ya read this work and still cant see.
You can go to hell.
And thats one thing apon me my imaginary friends
and my little badass tinker agree.

Drinking allnight  just to get right.
She claims she never but it sure dont seem tight.
Im half off the wagon but I just went for the ride
Passed out at the keyboard found out  a friend  called hello died.

Went to the funeral what did I see.
A ****** new place it did appear to me.
One for the road okay i took the case.
Hopped in the coffin.
felt like i just came back from outter space.

If your camper's rockin.
Better hope your husban dont come a knockin.
cause bulletes leave ya sore.
So just hide in the floor.
Cause if your dead it's pretty tuff to get some more.

I like beer and poetry what else did ya think i'd say.
like a kid throwin rocks at a hornet's nest
nest with danger i will always play.

Im guessing my wife must be outta school.
Honey you can ride the bus for free.
No need to blow the teacher and being he's the janitor it's not really cool.

I like beer and pushing the envelope what can i say.
just cause you like to snuggle on fishing trips
people call ya gay.

I write like a demon sometimes i even think.
When did God invent *******?
Come on lets mix a drink.

Cartoons are great ever watch fritz the cat?
got busted last week trying to spend some alone time.
guees it's not cool to ******* in a laundrymat.

Wow im so impressed okay maybe not.
Love the new site.
Wonder if the new designer  on his meds
are really doesnt care to think alot.

Wonder if my new will stay.
I love beer and poetry
What else did you ***** little  hamsters really think i'd say?

the girls in the back
of the local pathetic
laundrymat
(where nothing,
none of my things,
comes out clean)
speak ugly slavic.
their loads must be light
as they're only half dressed.
I put my clothes,
all I own,
except the one's on my back,
in five dryers
and go sit
on the paint-peeled
two-tone maroon
bench in front.
today's heat is indefinite,
and I wonder if someone
has stolen my
soap and basket yet.
this is downtown,
the turf occupied
mostly by addicts and foreigners
and the rich,
the richer than me,
meander lazily in and out
of bars and salons.
the beautiful plump brown skin girl
I've been falling in Love with
has straddled her bike and left.
she didn't even see me
smile at her.
now there's the asian man
stereotype, smoking incessantly
like me.
who spends most of his time
daydreaming of some other life.
his thousand yard stare sees nothing
and I'm hungry, but I won't eat
the restaurants are all white owned
and nothing is good or cheap.
there's garbage everywhere
and no one seems to mind.
when my pencil stops moving,
terrible writer's fear
I'll never have another thought
worth writing or bought.
time to fold up
and maybe scrape that
marines sticker off
the back of my truck.

K:  "Hi, it's me."

R. "Hi, back. What's up?"

K. "Saw you asleep in your chair, again, you okay?'

R:  "Just trying to sneak in a nap before going to work."

K.  "I sense that something has been bothering you a little bit, something, about "pennies?

R: "Kinda, sorta. Strange coincidences, I guess you might say."

K: "Well, lay it on me."

R: "It's like the "Pennies from Heaven" story. You know the one. the Angels drop them to let you know that you're loved, and not forgotten, so they'll drop a penny where you'll find it while walking across the street, down the sidewalk, and so on."

K: "Sounds familiar."

R: "There's another slight version where a  loved one will do the same. Its happened to me rather often, going or coming out of the laundrymat or grocery store and being pretty sure it wasn't  there when I first arrived."

K. "How does it make you feel?

R: "A little perplexed at first, then a comfortable feeling, believing that you're still around and you're the one placing them for me to find. Sort of, like, sending a message. They aren't hidden,  just lying in wide open spaces, where anyone else could find them."

K. "Sounds like they're just for you and no one else, doing what they're meant to do. What do you do with them.?"

R: "I put them in a 'change jar' on the dresser."

K. "Just don't spend them. I know you have to get ready for work in a little bit, so go ahead and finish your nap, okay?"

R: "Okay. Talk to you later. Oh, by the way, thanks for the pennies!"

K: "You're welcome, and 'watch' where you're walking!"

I woke up obstinate and needing to wash clothes.
which meant changing a $10 into quarters to use
the apartment building's cheap machines
which meant a hike to the bank

or to the overpriced laundrymat four blocks away to
where "Change Machine for Customer Use ONLY" signs
are painted on the glass doors and I knew
what I had to do.

I stuffed a plastic bag with other plastic bags
then with an actually ***** T-shirt ,t for authenticity
and marched those four blocks fearlessly.
I yanked the door open and went inside

where the manager was guarding the change machine.
He eyed me like the rule breaker I really was -
I held up my bag and he grunted his approval.
I put in the bill and taking my quarters

strode to the back of the store to hide for a moment, for authenticity.
There I found a woman about two hundred years old
mixing salt with her Borax. "I learned this from the Martians"
she said and I nodded, wanting to ask & also afraid of her answers.

I waited another minute and headed to the door
passing the manager - as he opened his mouth
I said "Oh silly me, I forgot the laundry soap!"
walked out into the now golden day.

the boy in the laundrymat wearing ***** pajamas has a split lip and two dark circles under his eyes
you try not to look at him as he fumbles coins into old machines and trips over his own untied shoelaces

the man ahead of you in the supermarket checkout line
pauses briefly in the unloading of his grocery cart
to leer at the cashier, a young twenty-something with green eyes and a bruised cheekbone
you pretend not to notice the quiver in his hands as he scans item after item,
wincing at each beep and trying to look smaller,
trying to shrink into his own skin

the teenager in the subway is standing weird and you notice that he is attempting not to cry
the tears come anyways, and as he makes small choking noises,
you look away and stare out the scratched windows,
tunnel walls scrolling listlessly past as the boy wipes his face with a ripped sleeve

the sounds coming from the alleyway leave nothing to the imagination
you keep walking, even as an older man emerges from the dark, zipping his pants
you ignore the hushed sobbing, and as you crawl into bed that night
you can still hear noises that make you gag

you try to tell yourself that you did nothing wrong
but you don't succeed

By: David W. Clare

She always bugs me
Makes me crazy...

Sushi IS my second favorite thing to eat!

Her best friend wants to **** me in bed!
Perhaps that's the best place to die!

The way that dumb broad talks, makes a man wanna put a gun to his head!

Choose your weapons carefully, it's war in any relationship these days...

Savvy girl power, can break a fools heart in less time than it takes to tie your shoes!

Rather than turn gay, I decided to leave her and walk away...

Her mother resembled an old man with a moustache!

Making my life's plans crash, like making a broken down flop-house bed...

The laundrymat was closed when I checked in to the No Tell Motel...

The cold weather wind started to howl...

I remember that strange smell like someone forgot to throw in the towel...


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