Fig boo obba do
Uptar guivbar
Ceeb zoop gabba
Koop neeb wabba vo

Muck pocket locket bug
Even sub lubbet dug

Ibber tug vagga dug
Neek mug dar rug

Towel
How well
Ew shell

Angus meat funk
Skunk eats the big dunk
Seeba doob la lunk

My rowe lê al spore
Op my palms wat klou
Aan die yster wat my brand
Ń vlam
In die droewe kou
Ingehok, binne my eie land

Tralie hart staan ongeweer
Teen vloedwater emosie
Wat verbeeldingloos probeer
Om te rebuleer teen die seer
In my terugslag verval
My moed. Ek sal dit
Bymekaarskraap
vir ń Volgende keer.

En my vingers trek nog
Lyne en koppel my
Sondag-oggend sins
En versprei my laaste
Bietjie dignity in
Die zoo se trash bins
Terwyl ek nietig gan confess
-"Oh Father I have sinned"
Kom Jesus more weer om
My in my verlore toestand te
Kom vind....
Koop maar ń seisoenkaartjie
Vir versoening en vatsoene.
More sin ek weer.
Eks mos die duiwel se kind

When I was younger I flew
the koop, no cage could keep
me from flying this *****
grave of doom.

Life came to make friends
with me, I agreed to stay.

It was great until the storm came,
it washed away the sunshine,
it drowned my mind in love
and pain, it stole my
jars of broken hearts,
it broke my wings and forced
me down, my chair became
the cage now I’m back to
being a slave to my health.

That’s life, you live and die,
you suffer and fly, you climb
mountains, float down rivers
and lakes, you surfe the
biggest waves.

In the end we end up in
the grave.

Don’t forget to breathe,
take longer breaths,
just take your time;
you’ve got unknown
amounts of time.

This asthma induced disease
we call life has no insurance
or warranty.

So live well and you won’t
go to bed regretting your
dreams. Don’t cover yourself
with the dirt from the roads
you’ve built.  Instead let go
of all regret go to your dirt
bed clean.

©️ 2020 By Amanda Shelton

I feel girly like Bill Murray watching an old couple slurp river rat
rat liver soup that was filtered through the beard of Charles Everett Koop.

Bob & Marge loved Negroes a lot. They had trained a dozen for the Big Bob & Marge Carnival. Many dark mornings before dawn Bob could be heard yelling at them while fat Marge prepared carp & floor-sweepings for breakfast. “Hurry up Bob!” She'd yell like a crazy maniac and Bob would put down his whip and come a-runnin.' “You's so fine,” he'd say while grabbing a fistful of Marge's fragrant lard-***. Pretty Stella sat down because her moist Kotex slipped south. “**** you Bob,” she muttered as a dozen Negroes finished their breakfast of carp & floor-sweepings. “Quiet,” Bob whispered. “If Marge finds out about our secret love affair she'll **** all of my Negroes.” Stella smiled with such force that 3 of her shiny back teeth exploded. “Jesus H. Christ!” She exclaimed. “That really hurt me!” Bob giggled girlishly causing 10 million hormones to go bonkers. “Oh no!” He screamed. “I'm becoming a woman – a real one with a ***** and fallopian tubes and everything!” Later, after his hormones had stopped, Bob ate 2 full bowls of worm guts. I don't know why he did that. Marge sensed that Bob was having ****** retaliations with Stella a lot so she installed a hidden camera in Stella's ****** just in case. One night the moon was very romantic so Bob touched Stella's picturesque ****** romantically and suddenly Marge's voice came out of it. “I got you now Bob!” It said and Bob couldn't believe it. “Stella!” He said. “I just heard Marge's voice coming out of your ******!” Upon hearing it too Stella laughed, but cautiously because of her teeth. Suddenly there was a huge explosion at Texaco: several flaming homosexuals were killed in the men's room. Stella was saddened by the news and sought out Bob's totally-**** body for comfort. “Kiss me Bob hard,” she begged, but he was really extremely hesitant, not knowing which end of Stella was currently talking.