When we were little, long before nana found me on the side of the road, Kody’s mom made us lunch. Kody brought it to me and smiled. He was kind of like a guardian angel for me. I lost everything, but I still had Kody.
I always had Kody.
He would make me clean up my mess when I visited his house. Kind of like my mom. He even covered my ears when his dad got home.
When his dad came in the room, Kody made sure I was hidden. Either in the closet or under his bed. Either way, he made sure I wasn’t the one beaten. His father took one look around the room and then stumbled over to Kody for a drunken slap. For “being messy,” though really, he wasn’t.
Kody was bruised, trembling, shaken up and ******, but he smiled at me when he opened that closet door or looked under the bed. He smiled.
He yelled at me when I deserved it but always stopped quickly. Long before my father had broken my voice, I wanted to tell him something that made him trust me.
Kody used to get sad when he was mad at me. He cried after shouting. He said he didn’t want me to leave. He said he didn’t want me to be scared of him.
I just placed my hand to his cheek and smiled at him.
“Just breathe.” I said, “It’ll be okay.”

The windows down
Warm sticky air
Salty sweat
Kody’s beside me in the truck
She has a hatchet and I have a hand grenade
We’ve just been driving around town
Screaming **** the earth
Screaming it at all the pretty churchgoers
The school board members
Her old softball coach

I didn’t pay the rent this month
Kody didn’t eat a single vegetable
We ****** about 76 times
She’s been painting really beautiful
Its true talent
Mom sent some mail that said she missed me
I look pathetic trying to react like a son should
I’m almost as free as you would want to be
But what a ******* shame
I have to wake up in a few hours

hot
volcanic
spewing volcanic ash over the

toilet

that cheesy bean burrito wasnt a good idea

hot springs
sooth my buttox

so does
the
brown
family

there are 17 glorious children
4 old wives
and one balding man

we call
god

master

father

***



POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP



(rap voice)
kody brown is comin to town
wanting to turn his frown
upside down

lookin for da kids
lookin for da girls
lookin for an ice cream truck for da swirl

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


b a b y l o n

babylon tigger thats where ill always ben


success every plate

my last name was christ

grindin dreams

one

pun


smoe quest
ever1

connely

receeding forehead

meadows of lava spewing fro m my a s s








PEACE



####################

The other day I passed by a homeless family
All 10 sitting under a mango tree
They didn't have much but they seemed happy
Now here we learn a valuable lesson
We don't need money to solve everything
Maybe peace is a lot more simpler
Smile show a simple or two
Or try to have a conversation with someone new
We all co exist in a world that was meant to be limitless
But now we engage in a never ending conflict
That's so sick, it makes me nauseous
So let's be cautious
Of how we let the young kids talk
It can go from a computer screen to a life long sentence and a death row walk
Cause look ignorance is bliss
And we can't pass this
We learn to respect and prioritize
But we fail to realize that this can also lead to carelessness
It's nothing less than how we carry ourselves
We minimize this never ending flow or we criticize
So *** it who cares what he's wearing
Your tearing this kid apart with his tagged clothes
But you don't know the story
Never had anything like a young Kody
Grew up in the projects a 12 story building
Moms a crack addict never tried rehabilitatin
Dad works 9-5 trying to fulfill his families ever needs
Living off of food stamps and EBT
This **** is no acting like TNT
Plenty was never in his vocabulary
He prays to god and at times asks "why me"
Feels like he's being beat
Feels like everything is getting worse in this universe
So next time you think you are cursed with having it worse
Listen to my words and every verse
Cause world peace is key
It helps us create an ideal reality

For all the times
I have never had
someone to dance
with me, I remember
kody ruzanski who
nervously tapped my
shoulder in 6th grade
and i still told him no

The nurse walked in. He smiled at us and then checked his clipboard. He turned to Kody, who was looking at him with an expression I couldn’t read on his face. The nurse gestured for him to follow and Kody got up off the floor. I watched them leave. Kody and the nurse both turned around to smile at me reassuringly.
What were they hiding??

I’ve been throwing up a lot recently. I threw up in Kody’s lap the other day. He gulped and cringed, then gagged, but he just patted my back and told me to ‘let it all out.’ I threw up a whole bunch more. It felt like an ***** or two was gonna come out.
When I was done, Kody went to go get a change of clothes. I felt real bad.
I ***** about 3 times a day now, but now we keep the weird green baggies next to me at all times. It makes a nasty noise and Kody gags every time he hears it. It’s disgusting, but I can’t stop. I feel constantly dizzy.
My stomach aches and turns, I lose my appetite, I get real dizzy, and then I *****. This horrible and painfully repetitive cycle began just last week, but I’ve already grown used to it.
I feel sick.

The chatter in the hospital always died down around this hour. In the quiet, Kody sat in a chair beside me and read to me. He foot was kicked up on my leg and he was slumping down in his chair. He always scolded me for doing that.
“Shoot all the blue jays you want if you can hit ‘em,” He read, “But remember…” I looked at my feet, which poked out from under the blanket in front of me. “It’s a sin to **** a mockingbird.”

He shook his head. “Is he going to be okay then?”
“Yes. We can add some meds to his regular ones to treat this, too.”
“Okay… how much?”
I looked out the window at the skyline, fogged up and cold. Matched my mood. It was rainy and the gray clouds covered up the sun. Kody sighed and rubbed his head. I ignored what they were saying and looked at the IV in my arm and rolled my eyes.