Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
.****... who came first... ol' Jim or ol' Jack? well i know that Jim began his stature of being the marquees de bourbon in 1795... but Jacky boy? personally i can't tell the difference between two... it's not like i'm drinking whiskey... the differences are so much more subtle... and every time i crack open a bottle... brothel perfumery comes to mind... that's what bourbon feels like: if you've ever visited a brothel... the scent in the air is filled with sweet sweet bourbon and soap and tender skins: no latex, no leather.

the day began with me having a cigarette,
and admiring rain drops hanging off
the washing line...
    oh... like that flock of birds...
that sit on a roof in rows...
it might have been the European starlings,
but, my guess is just as good as yours...
so let's say... a row of ~starlings...

now for the sentence...
no... wait...
a side-note addition postscriptum
of working from
a sample of a cultural exhange
program from Cold War II
,
                  circa? now.

synthetic a priori is
actually synthetic a- priori,
there's no knowledge involved...
   hence the a- hyphen being
     added to denote: without...
only chance, a curiosity,
a haphazard...
   a genius invention,
a "mistake"...
   take champagne
or L.S.D., these are examples
of a case of synthetic a- priori,
i.e. they they take a concept
of synthesis, and apply it to:
with a prior to, said example...
a discovery!

now for trying to write that sentence
using 7 variant dialects...
mind you...
i think i figured out the circumflex
over the omicron
in the Kashubian word for boy:
knôp...
             see... the linguistic explanation
is a tongue tied /uo/
doesn't work for me...
i found a better depiction...
      of ô:
i.e. kno'op - the apostrophe better
explains the circumflex hanging over
the omicron...
   it's... such an outdated linguistic
system...
to explain a diacritical mark in a word
with merely more letters,
i.e. ô (circumflex,
   which will not appear
in commaful's html) = /uo/
   i prefer the new method i conjured...
use the whole word
so? the ô in the word knôp = kno'op...
or at least... look here,
there's a U in there, oddly enough,
using the apostrophe you can
create a U shape with this "x-ray":

                kno   op
                       U
                                     but saying:
knuop?
                  well, my taste is different...
oh... and... today i watched a scary video...
people were giving out their D.N.A.
details out for free..
saliva swabs...
                     that bothers me...
so... you think these ancestry companies...
will not pass the data
to crime prevention agencies?
   you don't think they're creating
a database... not that you might commit
a crime... but if you were to...
isn't this... minority report?

anyway... looking at these dialects...
oh... look...
     an overring... which is typical
for Scandinavian languages...
  notably in the chemical constant
of the å (ångström)...
     well... that **** wasn't invented
by the Masovians...
  it had to come with the Vikings,
passing down the Vistula to found
Kiev...

(you know you're writing something
difficult to read...
when even you experience... tedium)...
you just know it...

now, the sentence...
utilizing (in no particular order):
Kurpian, Kashubian, Silesian,
Gaelic, Pict Gaelic, Cymru and Cornish...
oh ****... revising the Book of Revelation's
seven headed beast...
i.e. "revising"... I, V, X, L, C, D, M...

now for some more brothel
perfume... to think of a decent sentence...

( cicha woda, brzegi rwie
   - the silent water tears away
     at the edges -
so much for the freedom of speech,
so much said, and yet,
silence... eats away the fringes
of society, while the majority,
are fathomed, to be subdued
by a lullaby...

  a liar does not walk
on stilts - i.e. a liar is no
             longshank (edvard) -


       yr łgårz a 'dèanamh nynj
          ar hir giry
      
- a łżélc je chan eil
                   hir-aranau -

certainly not:
Eideard Fadacasan.
bheith acu:
             déanta úsáid roinnt
   Gaelach,
however much broken.
                                                         ­          )

p.s. if you're not in some way intoxicated,
or in a "schizoid" state of mind,
invoking ciphers and metaphors...
how the hell do you know you're
writing poetry?
is reading the book a revelation
something to be taken...
literally, or with a grain of cipher?
who the hell writes poetry
like its some reply to a company memo?
who makes poetic language
authoritarian,
giving out commands,
or worse still: advice?
     who makes the art of poetry
less than a hallucination of language,
of phonetic encoding that
transcends, phonetic encoding?!
poetry is bound to an inherent
incoherency, because it does not
translate into rhetoric...
it is a fascination with the elevation
of autism into the realm
of the demigod Solipssus...
it can't be coherent,
it cannot be found to not be teasing
the para-schizoid dimension
of the reality of language...
listen...
  i'm not giving you sentences,
i'm not spewing the lawyer gerbil
language of... god prevent us
using the dictionary,
and direct meaning...
we all know that lawyers
have not knowledge of the existence
of the dictionary...
they skipped that part...
and went straight for the thesaurus...
******* weasels...
poetry is the ultimate authority
of language...
if it's confusing,
it's supposed to be confusing...
how can you expect to say:
a square is a square is a square...
how can a poet be poet...
when he hasn't experienced
an auditory hallucination...
you trip on psychoactive substances...
you become a painter...
but people are afraid of what they
might "hear" compared to
something they might, "see"...
the eye is an enthralling palace...
but the ear?
     ah... the scary place...
how would i ever write poetry,
to the coherency standards of
sane people literature?!
   can anyone even comprehend
the mundane reality of
writing sane people literature?!
of course they can...
most of that literature is adopted
into movies...
or, whatever translates the x-ray
into muscles, body, flesh...
you can't be expected to write sane poetry...
you're already dealing
with the metaphysical...
   which implies:
that, which translates
the transcendence of the physical
into the meta- realm...
   of language...
  the, literally is the one poison
arrow that kills the art of poetry...
poetry is, by far,
the best translation of philosophy...
whereas the far *******,
sorry, darker aspect of poetry,
is the, "translation" of sophistry...
but that aspect of "poetry" is
a lesser form of sophistry...
esp. within the realm of populist
poetics...
it's called: latching onto the bandwagon
of what was already said,
and emphasizing a partisan
language of appeasement...
no, philosophy is not a pretentious
genre in literature...
it's just ******* difficult...
plain and simple...
   for a philosophy book,
to be translated into a poem...
5 years, and the greatest aspect of
this scenario?
   it'... inexhaustible...
who the hell expected for poetry
to be a sanity bastion for those
who do not have enough *******
in them to write fictional narrations,
and character plots of expansion?!
        
to end? my fetish for the deutschezung:
   ein steinherz,
                ein leeren verstand:
         ein eisenwerden -
              und die vergessene welt:
wohnte im durch eisen sein.
Katryna Mar 2014
we loved each other like neptune loved fire and venus loved diamond earrings
we could only hold hands for four minutes before we had to exhale
i only knew you and you only knew me when it came to reading fingerprints like braille
we caused an overdose in god's left iris and left him fiending and crawling and blinking like he had a twitch just to
get a fix
god could only crawl as fast as my eyes could read your heart like shakespeare and slightly slower than your hands could
turn the lights off
where did we meet is a question i ask myself
did we meet on the shores of lakes too cold to handle where portals carried the ducks by on infinite loops
or did we meet in a pretentious little coffee shop where there was always so much pressure and your head would explode
if only you could force yourself to ruin all the pieces local artists hung in high hopes
maybe we met with high hopes, or maybe just with high minds and low hearts and nothing left to believe in
we met when i couldn't rest my eyes on planets for longer than 3 seconds and your bed only looked slept in
i think we met when i could hold your hand without squeezing too tight or tugging it away or when you finally let me win
a thumb war
we still meet sometimes in my mind, over and over, infinitely gazing into each other's minds for the very first time
i don't know if you'll ever touch my skin like the unbroken spine of a newly printed book or a flower dried between its
ancient counter part's pages and pages and pages of nonsense
it's all nonsense
what does all this sound like to foreign ears, or foreign minds, what does love and words have to do with anything if
the sheets are never clean and the garden doesn't even grow in the sunshine any more
how does your heart feel without the touch of something artificial to give you a reason to wake up in the morning
does it feel like it's falling and falling on repeat, forever, stuck in limbo, except you can only wish it was limbo
in limbo your heart wouldn't be shattering, your eyes wouldn't be burning, your hair wouldn't be in clumps between
your fingers
you wouldn't have to open your eyes to anything and the alarm clock would tell you time is up and the day is done and
thank you for trying but it's not even necessary
take some time to think about everything you left in suitcases and boxes and hotel rooms that you kept the key for
you'll probably never let those keys go even if i told you to but what if i told you that hotel burnt down years ago
and the only thing that remains is a tattered bedsheet and it lies in the rubble like a decrepit flag that everyone
has forgotten to salute
we love each other like the ghosts of those who carried that flag
we love each other like ghosts and flags and the byproduct of an arson joke gone wrong
that flag stopped flying when your heart stopped beating to the tune of my mindless humming and my words forgot sobriety
for a while
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2018
yea... i made a slight... . . punctuation error... like **** will i correct it... i was asking a question, that wasn't exactly a question... ooh... salt & vinegar chips... even with this added ***... yummy yummy, yummy...

.i ask a question, i don't ask a question, i ask a question... but don't use a question mark, which implies a subterfuge of rhetoric underlay, which subsequently implies: dialectics are in play; i expand punctuation marks where intended, to add to the emphasis... i turn horror... into a... romance... i give the shadow the strings, and leave the body... courtesan... but all the more... curious in fathoming automation; lucky that we've met! incy-wincy-spider... the 1960s... such curious years to us... Millennial folk... well yeah... thanks for... ******* up the internet! you're right up there with the pedophiles on my ****-list! bravo! bravo! right up there with the pedophiles.... what?! you think i'm going to shove my head into the entertainment of hitting the mall arcades?! L.... oh wait... i thought you knew what that stood for.... do i ******* look like a Loser... oh wait... right... you're going to rob me of a roof over my head... if you get to the age of a care home? find... luck... but you won't... all the luck i might wish you... find... luck.

the laughter...
dies with the clown.

p.s.
i guess misspelled
the word...
soft;

the existence of
shadows begs,
as man of god,
the existence of
mirrors;
my own,
the turbulent lakes,
and seas, and lakes
incubated...

marks my words...
into such depths....
aa heart might seek resolve...
but in such depths...
whatever heart is to be spoken of...
will not fulfill the shape...
or the original
grievance....

woman! what is there to forgive
is what i cannot forget?!
what is there to forgive?! what?!
what is there forgive?!
unless...
   you are endowed with
succumbing me to a lobotomy...
then...you want me to forgive...
i'll forgive...
but help me to forget...
by staging an instigation of
Alzheimer... perform a lobotomy...
then i'll forget...
by then... i'll not be able to either remember,
think, imagine, or remotely contemplate
the concept of memory...
nostalgia in tow.

there's no bitterness behind this...
just aa prehistoric rage...
a dumb gnashing of teeth...
      
           it will not rest,
and... hopelessly...
i don't want it to rest...
i'd die: uninhibited, restless....
   not this life, and the deaf assured...
overcome my leisure,
overcome my pain,
  overcome all life, and death,
but only overcome...
when this narrative dies...
yet another is born;
then... only then...
        will my justice in worship tame...
the self-proclaimed judge...
this generation or another...
i will, claim my voice...
        
why?!
         my contemporaries?!
i have contemporaries?! really?!
i thought i was the idiot among geniuses!
i was wrong?
  we were all idiots among idiots?
****...

            why did i even bother
to talk, when i could have bothered
to make emphasis of thought.
Paige Ashley Jul 2010
I've grown tired of this
surreal, trying-to-run-underwater paralysis
My thoughts will not expire,
even though I harshly insist
It's time to redirect my energy back to the war
The one I began waging over two years ago
I'll keep struggling against this innuendo
All for the hope to destroy my incoherency
Yet somehow still possess my secrecy
Blonde after blonde,
strangers
stroll in,
no idea who you are,
not a clue where you're going.
I am among
a new wave of writers
with anxiety on the table,
pursuing acclaim for incoherency.
Some are absent
like a snowflake at Christmas,
failed to come forward
over the horizon
where rainclouds don't depart.
Naturally reserved
in our asylum of words
but it's a melee
to be heard,
to be seen,
a rising flower
on the cusp of spring.
Written: October 2012.
Explanation: A poem written in my own time, also available on my WordPress blog.
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2017
i don't think i wrote something incoherent... i mean, i could be accussed of having written something incoherent... but the way i look at it, i didn't exactly write a discourse... platonism - theatrical notation of philosophy, theatre as such... became abhorred way-back before platonistic abhorrence of poetry became established in the koranic text... so no... i don't think i wrote something incoherent, i might be guilty of writing it in a berserk-like frenzy... but it's not incoherent... it's simply said in a language, that's says θ = φ, ε = η, o = ω, ξ = χ, so you see... all the aesthetics dwindles... because i wrote this without it being reminiscent of a beautiful conversation under the moon in some exotic place... or a conversation you might have in a supermarket when buying a pint of milk... that's why the above stated greek letters are actually the same... and they exist as "chiral" if you decide to take into consideration aesthetic orthodoxy with origins in making literacy a monopoly... nothing contained in here is incoherent... the only "incoherency" of this piece is that: you wouldn't really talk to someone about it, when buying groceries, or having a nostalgic conversation with a friend... it's ad abstractum... that thing that's also not bound to any parliament or church.

some people really do aspire to be quenched
by the phenomenon status...
   to be the slang first said,
   to be the last, doctrine fed,
          i admire these people, well, admire,
like i'd admire king Solomon -
who prayed to be bewstowed by wisdom,
and what came of his prayer?
              a weak heart, and a walrus status
with a harem...
        i hold my **** like king David holds the lyre...
call it what you want...
              but you see a shagged out beauty like
Dakota Skye, and you just have to bash out
the tennis *****...
                   it comes naturally:
will i get a crown for celibacy, or should i wait
for prostate cancer...
          is there anyone in the vicinity to help me out?
not really...
i can't fanticise about either of my neighbours...
   ****-wits attest to the tried path of protestantism's
freedom-libido...
            but what i'm curious about more perverse
than that... perosnal hygiene isn't really the question
being asked...
                  yes, take a ****, partake in the double-quickie...
it almost feels like ******* and taking a ****
is a *******'s worth of v.i.p. pass when
they say shalom, you ease out the **** and
*******... hence the ******* perfume to boot...
   why do it in the shower?
       why get comfy and do it in an armchair?
   lucky me... i need no *****...
and doubly-lucky me: i read enough marquis de sade...
   oh no, he's not repetitive in his book *******
,
he's lost the ability to lullaby you to sleep
strapped to a chair in a sadist's disneyland by now...
       but hell: i see no need to glorify these assertions,
i'm just gagging for the moment my
peers will find it boring doing what they do,
when they reach middle-age and have forgotten
******* per se, as a driving factor for
imagination, or how one thrives on keeping
imagination alive by jerking off...
            it becomes a story of: not really looking
for my dream girl... just give me anything that moves
and i'll be content...
                 when was the last time you
picked up a bisexual thai girl in a park off a bench,
took her home, played her some jazz, and later
****** her in the garden by the moonlight?
       what finally convinced her?
in her own words: i've never seen so many books...
   well yeah, that's modesty creeping up on me.
    and unless you're not using the medicine:
what?! you gonna start imagining ******* your mother?
    the point is that Kant can never become a
populist philosopher... he made his life so: that
he never encountered the weitgheist of Napoleon
at Juna... Kant wasn't the antithesis of Marxism...
      you can't take Kant to a movie premier in Leicester Sq....
   you can take Kant to the pulpit...
   sure thing, you can take Hegel, as you do,
to get people mobilised...
       that's why i prefer Kant in that he gave me something
to work on... as much as i admire
                  the people subjected to creating phenomenons of
themselves... so that people can be cloned and bleached
and be told the marching orders: these days musicians
are the kings... poets are the paupers...
   i identify with neither...
                       i mean, just the one word he invented,
if you want to ask me about a priori and a posteriori
atypical things people regurgitate about Kant,
i'm not your man...
                      if i can salute to the pig through of everything
and nothing,
                       i'll make a statue from oyster shells instead...
it's enough that i told you what Kant wrote
that 0 = negation...
                               but given what i'm trying to
really say is the people who give us individuality...
it doesn't matter whether you live in a democracy or
an autocracy...
   the matter is simpler, because only one word has
any meaning right now: to congregate at the altar of
the noumenon...
                               res per se... that the latin translation...
   i don't know how best to poeticise the blurry line
between psychiatry and philosophy, given that most
    psychiatrists would put philosophers in bird cages
and asked them to howl like wolves rather than
tweet like budgies...
                            all i can say about a priori
and a posteriori though?
                                              outside of time and space,
a bit like: beyond good and evil...
    a priori i denote by the right-wing word pure...
   and a posteriori by the      ditto           word impure...
    ethnical alliance of words, you know how the 20th century
story goes...
                      a priori: a blank canvas...
          a posteriori: the painting...
                          i'm not going to stutter on the word
knowledge any time soon...
                                        i see no fascination with knowledge,
i know the world is more transit and fleeting
if i sentence my emotional whole to doubt,
than if i sentence it to denial...
                      to a rigidness... that i sentence it to a permanence,
an illusion, of growing old and having all the lovelies
at my biding, in a political cartwheel...
                           either knowledge diminishes doubt,
or it embraces denial... but the wavering of thought can't
be detached from thinking...
                     with thought being ascribed denial rather than
doubt... it soon morphs into delusion...
                 can you really sport that sort of blonde quiff and
speak about red buttons?
    it's not even Friday and i'm sorta waiting for a mob
boxing match in Washington... easy kicks...
     it's Klitschko vs. Tyson on the cards,
   if i'm not feeling it... then all the past electorate weeks
have been a waste... all the protests signifying a jack-in-a-box...
who escaped it as nothing but purple puff...
and rarely, rarely... do you see people asking
for riches in terms of the words they use...
     vocab materialism is a bit like actual materialism...
a gold-plated toilet seat is about as sought-after as a word
    without being systematically used to banish synonyms...
the horrid affair of english intellectualism...
   the presupposed moral authority...
                            i mean, they moralise *******,
you go to a brothel... they strap a pair of dove wings to prostitutes
and call you a ****...
                          and there's you doing the opposite
of what should attract *******...
       i mean: you pay an extra ten quid to ****** mollest her
oyster of a *******...
                   that has to be some sort of Gethsemane *******...
oh please lord: when will it end?! (enter herr cackle,
the self-righteous faun, dressed as a magpie)...
        never knew that a kiss meant so much
when you didn't put 1 with 2 to make it a *******
and asked the devil to debate: what did i wrong here?
ah, that bit... jumped in the bath and soaked myself
in cold water while she remained, bed bound and *******...
    god: those tickling *****!
                    i could do it 20 times a day and i'd still feel
goosebumps all over them...
                     it's like that talk of the ghost-limb
when people get gangrene / frostbite amputations...
    well, that's what i call a case of "castrato" -
             i'm getting the impressions i lost them to
serve the Catholic church... shame the pharaohs of egypt
never asked the eunuchs how to sing...
   real shame that... a right ol' spot of bother...
   they were the harem toys when the pharaoh couldn't keep up,
i say: there's a limit... the ***** count sometimes
doesn't compete with the libido...
after a while it dilutes and you're shooting blanks...
   but you have a harem of 3000 ladies, king Solomon...
how will you keep them harem bound?
   king Solomon also said: i need 300 pristine virgins
to be castrated... that's 3 to 10 ratio... but since i'm the king
i need my lineage...
and remember that crazy cat lady?
                          she kept 30 cats and those 30 cats just said:
the lady's o.k.... all these 29 cuddly ***** are bothering my
beauty sleep! dogs can sniff each other up... cats?
primo solipsists... they need their personal space...
            the "crazy" cat lady wasn't crazy, the 30 cats became
demented... last time i heard tigers weren't responsible for
wilderbeast stampedes...
                 solipsists... well: "solipsists"... bound to the strict
natural dictum of their species...
              don't you think tigers would love to
roam like hyenas or wolves, or laze like lions?
                        i was really talking about Kant through
this Dionysian frenzy, wasn't i?
                     how when not to look toward
imitating a noumenon or forging out a route toward
such a circumstance?
                            even Heidegger move away from
this ultimate pinpoint...
                                Heidegger claimed that his dasein
made very little of a constancy of the Cartesian thing,
meaning that he couldn't stand-still...
         that somehow being was greather than stasis...
which already create
            the Kantian parallel predating Heidegger himself...
   the suffix of dasein (sein) is what's considered thought...
         it's a prophetic circumstance of seeing a there,
necessarily a future time... and hence him being branded
**** eternal... when in fact that can't be the case...
            nonetheless Kant moved away from Descartes
and said: res per se...
                          and not res cogitans...
he did so, as is apparent in his critique by isolating
                       the precursor: "i think" as an ambiguous fact...
  ambiguous in a sense of: providng the encapsulating
  mechanics for what is best attested as the populist vocab
calls it: eccentricity of "i am" - that which attracts
         the reversal of "i think" being an ambiguous fact,
and more of a chance to demand a circus, of not being
quiet adept at making "i think" an amiguous fact...
and beside the circus of the "madman", having qualms
   as to why adrenaline took over the argument for
and purpose of there being thought involved.
        -  oh honey... i'll mind-******* and eat your
refrigerator out, and by the end we'll be singing sweet ol'
Alabama wishing for a single summer by a lake
frolicking like two butterflies... if this **** can ever come to
an end   -
             Kant didn't, in the cursor that's i am, posit as
a necessary ambiguity... (the res and res per se
were already established) -
                   hence Heidegger had to come...
and make thinking the ambiguity... and that ambiguity did
come, in the form of the ad abstracto there;
                         thinking fizzled out (as Heidegger himself
concluded: we're still not thinking) -
            it's not that we're not thinking, it's that not being "there"
      dictates to us the subsequently not being -
         i.e. that's the borderline distinction -
          by actually being "there" we wouldn't be thinking anyway...
no one thought in Auschwitz...
                            there was no thought encompassed in that hell...
it was dogmatism on one side, versus natural intuition on
the other...  the one side being nurtured by political dogma:
the latter half being bound to an unforgiving nature
                  of man's testmanet outside of all fears of the natural,
and elemental torture...
   as man is prone: with the fewer number of natural
tragedies... he's bound to reach for the godhead and speak
with a tongue, like the sound of Xerxes ordering the Hellespont
to be whipped still..
                  and i know this will have very or only little
appeal in the anglophone world...
                       i'm not at all bothered by it...
what's obstructing the anglophone sphere is this basic need
to pray at the altar of pragmatism...
    you can't make language complicated enough these days...
   philosophy isn't recognised as something beyond
the simple arithmetic of: i can make my speech coherent...
   or... i can write a, b, c, d, e... like Kant says of mathematical
language: 1 + 1 = 2... but then you come to university
level mathematics... and it's no longer 1 + 1 = 2 to be concerned
with... that's what philosophy testifies... a complexity beyond
learning a foreign language, so you can live in Paris,
          and buy groceries, or raise a family... so:
   even language these days can't be deemed worthy of
complication... which, mind you, on my behalf
would make me throw a punch in your face... and your attempt
at complication language a mere ugh... and me then
applauding you toward the current simplicity of the world
affairs... or at least to the psychiatric parlour...
    because... last time i heard... only anti-psychiatrists
bothered to read philosophy books... actual psychiatirsts
either read pharmacology booktlets for the poor...
    and those sofa-session monologues stemming from Freud
of rich under-****** or over-zelous in dreaming rich kids.
pandemonium Apr 2014
It has been months since I picked up the courage to spill my thoughts
but it's not like I haven't thought about coming back
I keep telling myself that my passion for writing has died
and like every dead things, they were never made to come back to life
I wish I could look back on the words I dedicated if I hadn't erase them
the truth is I have never regret all the things I wrote about you
but like every dead things, they were meant to come back and haunt.

What's unbearable was the incoherency that my mind fell into
over time, I stopped feeling altogether
I wasn't crazy, I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry either
sometimes I remember the earlier days and felt better
sometimes I think about the good memories and felt hopeless
the truth is I have never been this scared in a long time
and the fear swallowed me whole.

Trust me when I say the only thing I'm good at is lying
I went on for months denying what was stirring in my chest
I went on even longer thinking that I was absolutely fine
I learnt that you never really know how good you are until you're not
and the only thing I'm good at is crumbling to my feet
the truth is I have never had to hold my own bandages
but in the end, it's the only thing holding me.

I thought about all the other things I've loved before you
but everything I do reminds me of how hollow I am
I go through everyday wishing I was a ghost that would trail your every shadow
maybe it would be more fair if you felt the emptiness I've become
but even then I knew it's hard to haunt when you don't even care
the truth is I have never thought we would end up like this;
I forgot we weren't a fairytale.
Aria of Midnight May 2017
What is loneliness, I wonder
Is it feeling like you are trapped in an impenetrable bubble
surrounded by the people you love the most
Is it a constant disconnection, frustration, incoherency from yourself, from the centre of your spirit to the tip of your nose
Oh tell me, tell me, tell me
how I can shed it like pieces of dead skin
Meenu Syriac May 2014
I see ant lines make a trail on paper
Etching out thoughts I thought to have never been thought
I see scenic interpretations of my mind's landscape
Hills, trees, mountains and rivers.
Painting and sculpting all at once
I unravel more than I believe is possible.
So complex, tiniest details of a fine mosaic art

And with  those minute details
I sit down with a mug of coffee
Here in, the cool evening breeze
I weave a tale and thread a story.
And as I write with this hot headed fervor
I see nothing but the gates into my mind,
Open and welcoming, patient and enduring.
Leading me by the hand
Strapping me up for an adventure.

Now, in my own little world
Might take a little more than a thunderstorm  
To bring me out of this trance
Oh no, this world I create and paint
My deft strokes and personal touches,
This one's for my keeping,
This one's my piece of art.

Yes, you look at me and see
Nothing but incoherency  
Sitting in a dark room
Talking to myself
Scribbling nonsense.
Nonsense?!
No!
Just the musings
Of a mad woman !
KM Jones Jul 2010
I trained myself to trip over my words.
To stutter and stumble along.
So that your lips might catch mine as I fell.

Fell into open arms and empty futures.
While the world knew my words could move mountains...
I practiced incoherency... and called it love.

(September 11, 2008)
schuyler Jan 2018
Sickly sweet and positively succulent
Saccharine yet satirical,
her words thickly ooze over your fingers like honey.
From crystallized venom to velvety mellifluousness.
She has you in a vice grip.
You flinch, whimper, and quake from her articulations; terror
and wonder cinched together and choking you to incoherency.
And you can't get enough.
My downfall is the tyranny
of alcoholic incoherency,
no one seems to notice me
when I am on the floor.
William Lyu Sep 26
Writing this I must be doing.
This I love I must I love it must.
Why?
Nothing known, doing nothing and writing and nothing.
Heh, the words melt into nothing as they say.
    Ever doing nothing forget more do yet write love must nothing.
Can’t understand it anyways.
Pretending to care yet love it must I?
The papers scramble and run and wait that’s not supposed to—
Ah yes the letter? Yes the letter.
What?
Nothing must I love I must nothing love.
To love yet not loving.
Pretending it is all fine when it isn’t.
Ha.
Still pretending to care aren’t you?
Still I don’t understand what they say.
    Pretending fine care understand melt love writing.
Peace?
I dunno’ maybe if I care enough to care, I’d care a bit more.
If the party is to be crashed why’d I care?
Dancing won’t help would it no it wouldn’t.
Love it I must I it love must.
Pretend care I must love care pretend?
Singing pretense care I must love must I care pretense singing.
Dancing pretentious love care letter oh the letter—
    Nothing love care matter it what anymore I how anyhow must?
It didn’t matter anyways did it?
Sing?
You sing yet not are singing.
Look, it all makes perfect sense okay.
I,
Love care must it pretend fine care love melt writing singing pretense love dancing letter nothing love care it pretense matter kind more help understand peace.
Make sense?
Bye.

Second living day I rise.
Peace?
Love it must I.
Pretentious it must be.
    Sing pretend story fallacy design marker book.
Ataraxia?
Bullet point on my head.
Singing not caring that I must love I pretend.
Paint the world red this day I shall.
Pretending to care love sing dance must.
Didn’t matter anyways did it not.
Canister of lies.
Paper ran away yesterday evening already.
Papers with my notes on it.
Medical probably, or pretending to be.
Singing probably helps, let’s do that.
Singularity of the mind escapes to another plane.
Desire quench desire yet birth more desire.
    Lies desire must pretend singing why remember? must I there behold.
Still I can’t hear the meaning in their words.
The sun flash by like disco lights. And moon.
Never mind, this ends now.
A trigger word you say and I do it now.
Matter it will not love pretend.
    Never pretend love sing care anymore nothing—
There it is.
Let the world be clear.

The third day I rise alive.
Under unfamiliar lights.
Bed not mine,
Sheets clean white.
Their groaning I still hear.
Singing,
    Under which sky did you love once?
    Loving pretending and pretending loving?
Did they really give me these books.
Pretend caring yet love pretending.
Pretender of love yet not lover of pretense.
Clock is ticking tocking bounding sinking drowning.
A shell of its previous self sit on the table.
    Stained with pretentious love.
Comprehension indeed must birth curiosity.
Knowledge?
Format fades and incoherency invades.
Never made sense anyways.
Yet to love it is not lovingly giving.
To love is not lovingly taking.
What is it then?
Who knows someone else may have an answer—
Singing never was for me.
Pretending to care pretending to be cared.
Loving to pretend to be cared yet not knowing loving to pretend to be cared.
    If one day should your logic collapse, seek help.
Yet the stars should guide me in my way, no?
No.
    They love singing and dancing about loving and pretending.
Loving oneself needn’t mean care.
Loving another needn’t need love.
If pretending is all that mattered in the end then what matter was all the act I put up to those whom I cared and love and sang about?
I despise the third day.
    Cut.

Last day I rise, unfulfilled.
Desire unaccomplished, request unmet.
Like a joke destiny has played on me,
    To leave is to stop pretending, stop loving.
Yet what thing else could I do?
Cower in this unfamiliar place,
Like a fragile infant,
In disgrace?
Or simply speak to the caretaker of this place,
That one ought not to live who doesn’t desire life?
I cringe from the idea in fear of recognition.
I cower in horror of what may be.
    Love pretend meet undesired end.
At last, a dead end.
Neither path forward nor backward, stuck in time.
Wandering and lost,In the dream we call living.
Bound to endless identical halls.
Sealed to an eternity of loss.
Now, upon this place of reflection and peace.
Naught remains but a stained past.
The blinding color of red.

— The End —