From this barstool i have sat waitting for some moment
of inspiration to come to me.
But the only thing that that comes to me is
a bartender with another drink.

And in empty reflection lost in a jukebox's song
played by a lonley heart shooting pool.
I cant recall where the spark went.
maybe it fell to floor like the ash from a cigarette.

the page waits at home like a wife waitting in worry as her husban is off doing God knows what.
So worried only wishing he'd return.
And when he does the fear fades and the anger kicks in.

The bottle doesnt hold a key but it does know me well.
I kiss it's fiery lips and cant resist it's charm.
so I sit with it passing hours in a dance that will end in
nothing but another wasted night  and a bitter morning taken
out apon my  mind.

In a swirl of hungover thoughts id leave half written pages.
To soon find themselves collecting with my ever growing arsenal  of
drunken rants.
All ending bitter and cold.

But when the whiskey hits I'll make such great plans
that will never be.  
I'll write that epic that will keep in the minds
other writers.
And in the warm arms of women who wanna love a
trainwreck just to say they've known what it's like.

Whiskey wishes are like sparks from a much larger fire.
the sparks fly off into the midnight sky.
only to fade befor are very eye.

Drinking allnight  just to get right.
She claims she never but it sure dont seem tight.
Im half off the wagon but I just went for the ride
Passed out at the keyboard found out  a friend  called hello died.

Went to the funeral what did I see.
A ****** new place it did appear to me.
One for the road okay i took the case.
Hopped in the coffin.
felt like i just came back from outter space.

If your camper's rockin.
Better hope your husban dont come a knockin.
cause bulletes leave ya sore.
So just hide in the floor.
Cause if your dead it's pretty tuff to get some more.

I like beer and poetry what else did ya think i'd say.
like a kid throwin rocks at a hornet's nest
nest with danger i will always play.

Im guessing my wife must be outta school.
Honey you can ride the bus for free.
No need to blow the teacher and being he's the janitor it's not really cool.

I like beer and pushing the envelope what can i say.
just cause you like to snuggle on fishing trips
people call ya gay.

I write like a demon sometimes i even think.
When did God invent *******?
Come on lets mix a drink.

Cartoons are great ever watch fritz the cat?
got busted last week trying to spend some alone time.
guees it's not cool to ******* in a laundrymat.

Wow im so impressed okay maybe not.
Love the new site.
Wonder if the new designer  on his meds
are really doesnt care to think alot.

Wonder if my new will stay.
I love beer and poetry
What else did you ***** little  hamsters really think i'd say?

The cameras were set  the madman of Hello after snorting so sinus powder
was hopped up like a fat kid in a cake factory.

So Gonzo any thoughts on the new HP?

Gonzo. Well always new they'd find a way to steal my thoughts and secertly mentally **** me and kidnap Mr pickles!

Ummm

Gonzo Yeah I know thats why im only taking pills from trusted drug dealers like
Mother Terresa, And Capt Grabby Hands

Are you okay?

Gonzo. hmmm  what's it all mean dear lady?
sure you  capture me drag me to your dungeon have your way with me
take some pics update your facebook status like anyone gives A ****  what you eat for dinner or your a lonley cat lady.
but honestly who doest like *****?'

*** your insane and put that away!

Gonzo. What i was just getting my trusty  pocket fisherman
and my invisble anti earth crab spray.

I dont even wanna know.

Gonzo. hey ive learned always bring protection no matter how they look the flying monkeys are everywhere!    

Ummm do you need help?

Gonzo. Ever **** next a man who has no sense of smell  yeah kinda takes all the fun out of it kinda like  some new changes.
do like magic miss?

Ummm well .

Gonzo. check your cooler.

Theres nothing in it.

Gonzo.
MAGIC
Now call your sister i bet she's gonna have a baby.

Wow how did you know that? Magic?

Gonzo. no we've been  having fun after that annoying husban of her's
finally goes to work.

Hey he's coming over and he ses he's gonna.
Hey where'd you go?

The interviewers  cell rings.

Hello?

Gonzo. Magic!

I donte wante to rush nothing
I donte wante man to rush to slip his slippery tounge in Ma mouth.
I wante man to rush wit ring on ma finger first
And be a dedicated boye
A husban.
Not a man who donte takee kare of his chika

He stared off into the distance a stranger to all including himself.
Often when men stand apon that ledge there is little to be said befor the leap.
We all joked poured drinks and passed beer's paying little are no true attention
like the word we mocked we were ******* far from friends.

I saw the thought and spoke nothing I cant stop a trainwrweck  yet i can always get a good view.
He knew like a sappy western sundown would bring death  in a lost stance.
Even with a slight buzz I always saw the view of destruction in a writer reason with poetic sense.

I gotta go there was no soundtrack to warn no ******* follows traggedy
only seconds were left a hourglass count began silent to drunks and in honest
verse none would care.

He handed me his last beer and without question I knew goodbye was not a question.
The chapter had been written.
dark clouds didnt set the canvas to what would happen are laughter matched the light of a early summers embrace.

The sirens i'll always remember the the sirens a invite to a choas coated scene.
The others only looked in that puzzled deer in the headlights moment.
Doc  as we knew him had left the party  drove a mile down the road  
and turned a relaxing friday evening to a day spoke about in often twisted truth.

What had caused it?
A woman as simple as that a fight over a married woman and between the
two neither was her husban.

At the scene it was a sureal event  a fight had broke out Donald  laid
face down in the yard a blood spattred bloated lawn ornament from hell.
And in the truck the man I knew as friend in only names sense lay slumpped over the wheel.

It's a strange thing to absord in one's mind movies are just ****** up lies.
And the source of this chaos went unscathed.
And like any small town it would be talk of every conversation.

And like a snowball from a fragment it turned into a story that held no truth.
And with time it was forgotten replaced by gossip's ever turning wheel.
All had forgotten but I never have for it replays like some ****** up theater act within my thoughts.

Yeah i hate that ******* id love to scatter his brains across the the floor.
the ******* of anger seldom faces the reallity's of truth.
Whats behind the dark glasses is  more than foder for a barooms laughter.

More truths are in jokes than a simple conversation.
Ive viewed the trainwreck often in my life.
But this is just one view into many of my life's backpages.

I often hide behind laughter.
And shield my reallitys to mask what none should understand.
You were more than a memory sorry I never did more.

Most forgot but I never have.

       Dedicated to Russel Bishop.

Dey can' make me ride no bus.
I'm tellin' you, dey can' make me.

You know, dey all riled up in dere,
since we started walkin' to work.
I's like dey finally startin' to realize what we can do.

I tell you, Yvonna, I walk three mile to work
e'ry day. E'ry day! Can you believe?
I walk all dat way in my heels;
oh, how my feet are blisterin'!

But I don' let 'em know, no, ma'am.
No, ma'am. I jus' smile like I got all deh
love a' Heaven on my side! Can you believe?
Yes, ma'am, I do. I do.

I get home e'ry day now afte' supper
'cause I can' take no bus.
I much rather walk dan sit in deh back, believe me.
But i's so sad, Yvonna, you know?
To see my chirren tryin' so hard tah cook for 'emself.
I feel bad, honestly.

My husban', he workin' so hard,
he almos' die when he come home.

We go to church, Yvonna, e'ry Sundy, you know?
Don't you, girl?

I pray. I pray dat all dem white people
will leave us alone. Alone, I say!
Dey all preachin' 'bout "We Da People"
'n all dat ****, well, I tell you,
we people too!
We may be black but I tell you,
I tell you, Yvonna, we God's people, too.

Yes, ma'am, we are.

Speak up, girl, I can' hear you.

Well, I guess it don't matter.
Ain't like nobody listenin'.

Nobody listenin' to a old, achin' feet *****.
Nobody but you.

South Carolina summers were hot,
They were long and dry,
And for Mama, they were lonley.

Mama lived at the very end of our street.
She lived alone,
No chil'ren and no Husban'

She spent her days makin' sweet tea
And leomonaide, and pound cake.
She'd sit on her ol' rockin' chair,
And she'd whistle.

Mama was the best whistler in town,
All the kids in the neighboorhood came by
To hear her whistle.

She'd watch over us,
Scold those in need of scoldin'
She'd tell us not to climb the big oak tree
But we still did.

I didn't know it then,
But those long summers
Were the best I ever had.

The ice in my glass of sweet tea
Shone like diamonds.
And Mama's song,
Still plays in my head.

South Carolina summer were hot,
And they were too short.

I WAS FORBIDDEN TO SEE HIS FACE OR HIS PHYSIQUE
BUT HE ALWAYS LET ME KNOW THAT HE WAS THERE.
HE GAVE ME THE FINER THINGS AND TREATED ME FAIR,
AND I KNOW THAT HE LOVED ME I DARE SAY, OF THAT
HE NEVER SWAYED.

SINCE THE DAY I HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY
FROM MY FATHER AND SISTERS, I HAVE LIVED WITH
THIS MAN AS MY HUSBAND, NEVER TO SEE HIS FACE
BUT ONLY TO FEEL HIS TOUCH.
ALWAYS LEFT TO WONDER IF HE WAS A MAN WITH BEAUTIFUL
FEATURES OR A HIDEOUS DEFECT OF AN UNFORSEEN CREATURE.

HIS LOVE WAS GENUINE FOR HE NEVER FAILS TO TELL ME, NEVER FAILS TO SHOW ME AND TO THAT I HOLD TRUE HIS LOVE FOR ME, IT WAS NEVER BLUE. FOR ONE DAY AFTER NEARLY A YEAR OF HIS PLEASANT LOVE HE ALLOWED MY BELOVED SISTERS TO COME AND PAY ME A VISIT AND I WAS NEVER MORE THE HAPPIER FOR I HAD NOT SEEM THEM SINCE I HAVE BEEN TAKEN.
BUT OTHER REASONS HAD THEY FOR THEIR VISIT, OH I WAS SO MISTAKEN.

THEY POURED INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS MIND
THEIR LIES, DECIET AND THEIR MALACE FOR THEY
HAVE BECOME ENVIOUS OF THE SPLENDOR THAT HAD BEFALLEN ME,
OF THE GRANDOISE OF MY CONFORT; THEY THOUGHT ME TO LIVE UNHAPPY
BUT WERE TAKEN ABACK AND SO BELIEVED THAT I WAS NOT FIT FOR SUCH A PALACE. THEY FILLED MY HEAD WITH SUCH OPPOSITES, TWISTED HALF-TRUTHS AND CONVINCED ME THEY DID, FOR I LET THEM GET THE BEST OF ME.

ONE NIGHT AS MY BELOVED SLEPT, INTO HIS ROOM I CREPT AND AT HIS SIDE
I TOOK THE CANDLE AND AS QUICKLY AS I GRABBED THE SCONCE I TOURCHED IT
AND HELD IT AS HIGH ABOVE HIM AS I CAN HANDLE.

LOW AND BEHOLD MY BREATH WAS TAKEN AS I STOOD THERE IN FRONT OF
MY HUSBAN I WAS SO FROZEN!
THERE I STOOD TAKEN ABACK JUST STARING AT HIS GLORIOUS FEATURES.
ALL GOLDEN! LOVELY GOLDEN LOCKS OF HONEY SCENTED HAIR, SMOOTH SILKY
SKIN SO SOFT AND FARE, AND LONG BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN LASHES.

OH, HOW I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT HIM, ABOUT EVERYTHING.  I WAS SO
WRONG TO HAVE DOUBTED HIM, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.
MY LOVE CAUGHT ME LOOKING DOWN ON HIM AND AS I CAME OUT OF MY
FROZEN STATE WITH A STARTLED REFLEX, I UNINTENTIONALLY BURNED HIM
WITH HOT WAX FROM MY CANDLE AND WITH A SCREAM SO LOVELY HE JUMPED
FROM HIS SERENE SLUMBER OFF THE BED, HE WAS GLARING AT ME,
THE BRIDE HE HAD WED AND HIS FACE TURNED SO SAD FOR ME BECAUSE
IN HIS HEART HE TRULY LOVED ME, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE KNEW
WHAT MUST BE DONE.

“MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU FROM THE VERY BEGINNING
THAT MY LOVE WAS ALL YOU NEEDED TO TRUST?
INSTEAD YOU BETRAY ME WITH YOUR UNCERTAINTY.
HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU THAT I WAS A MAN OF HONOR,
INTERGRITY, OF HOPE AND OF LOVE?
YET YOU GO AND FORSAKE ME WITH YOUR MORTAL CURIOUSITY
AND FOR THAT I MUST LEAVE YOU, FOR YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME
MY SWEET LOVE.”

I FELL DOWN TO MY KNEES AS I WATCHED WITH TEARS OF SADNESS
ONCE FULL OF JOY FOR HIS GLORY WAS TOO MUCH TO BEHOLD,
THE BEAUTIFUL CREATURE WHO HAD TAKEN ME TO WIFE,
SPREAD HIS MIGHTY WINGS, TOOK HOLD OF HIS BOW AND SATCHEL
FULL OF GOLDEN ARROW TIPS AND IT WAS THEN THAT I HAD REALIZED MY HUSBAND NOT A MAN; OH MY HOW STUPID FOR I KNEW THEN MY HUSBAND, SON OF APHRODITE THE GODDESS OF LOVE, WAS CUPID!