Our fathers, brave men were and strong,
And whisky was their daily liquor;
They used to move the world along
In better style than now — and quicker.
Elections then were sport, you bet!
A trifle rough, there's no denying
When two opposing factions met
The skin and hair were always flying.
When "cabbage-trees" could still be worn
Without the question, "Who's your hatter?"
There dawned a bright election morn
Upon the town of Parramatta.
A man called Jones was all the go —
The people's friend, the poor's protector;
A long, gaunt, six-foot slab of woe,
He sought to charm the green elector.

How Jones had one time been trustee
For his small niece, and he — the villain! —
Betrayed his trust most shamefully,
And robbed the child of every shillin'.
He used to keep accounts, they say,
To save himself in case of trouble;
Whatever cash he paid away
He always used to charge it double.

He'd buy the child a cotton gown
Too coarse and rough to dress a cat in,
And then he'd go and put it down
And charge the price of silk or satin!
He gave her once a little treat,
An outing down the harbour sunny,
And Lord! the bill for bread and meat,
You'd think they all had eaten money!

But Jones exposed the course he took
By carelessness — such men are ninnies.
He went and entered in his book,
"Two pounds of sausages — two guineas."
Now this leaked out, and folk got riled,
And said that Jones, "he didn't oughter".
But what cared Jones? he only smiled —
Abuse ran off his back like water.

And so he faced the world content:
His little niece — he never paid her:
And then he stood for Parliament,
Of course he was a rank free trader.
His wealth was great, success appeared
To smile propitious on his banner,
But Providence it interfered
In this most unexpected manner.

A person — call him Brown for short —
Who knew the story of this stealer,
Went calmly down the town and bought
Two pounds of sausage from a dealer,
And then he got a long bamboo
And tightly tied the sausage to it;
Says he, "This is the thing to do,
And I am just the man to do it.

"When Jones comes out to make his speech
I won't a clapper be, or hisser,
But with this long bamboo I'll reach
And poke the sausage in his 'kisser'.
I'll bring the wretch to scorn and shame,
Unless those darned police are nigh:
As sure as Brown's my glorious name,
I'll knock that candidate sky-high."

The speech comes on — beneath the stand
The people push and surge and eddy
But Brown waits calmly close at hand
With all his apparatus ready;
And while the speaker loudly cries,
"Of ages all, this is the boss age!"
Brown hits him square between the eyes,
Exclaiming, "What's the price of sausage?"

He aimed the victuals in his face,
As though he thought poor Jones a glutton.
And Jones was covered with disgrace —
Disgrace and shame, and beef and mutton.
His cause was lost — a hopeless wreck
He crept off from the hooting throng;
Protection proudly ruled the deck,
Here ends the sausage and the song.
__
Notes

The Bulletin, 9 February 1889

Published during the 1889 election campaign for the New South Wales General Parliament

kaleidolon the hisser
pink
ragged rose
above an empty jar--
his hair broke like glass
i keep a faucet of his
hisser

Heat seeker
But cold blooded
Constrictor
Tongue twisssster
Hisser and injector
I can taste you from a far
Fear my strike
Im like lightning when I bite
Hidden among the dead leaves
Camouflaged high above in the trees
You aren't safe from me
I'll find you
Squeeze the life out of you
And when you can no longer breath
Swallow you whole
From head to toe
Killer of many
Enemy of most
Fear, none
I slither amongst the ground
Leaving my scale prints bound
Stubble across me you're likely to die
Kiss you with a corrosive liquid
The last thing you'll see while your alive
Is the death in my eyes
I was born a killer

Non **** des rochers de l'Atlas,
Au milieu des déserts où cent tribus errantes
Promènent au hasard leurs chameaux et leurs tentes,
Un jour, certain enfant précipitait ses pas.
C'était le jeune fils de quelque musulmane
Qui s'en allait en caravane.
Quand sa mère dormait, il courait le pays.
Dans un ravin profond, **** de l'aride plaine,
Notre enfant trouve une fontaine,
Auprès, un beau dattier tout couvert de ses fruits.
Oh ! quel bonheur ! dit-il, ces dattes, cette eau claire,
M'appartiennent ; sans moi, dans ce lieu solitaire,
Ces trésors cachés, inconnus,
Demeuraient à jamais perdus.
Je les ai découverts, ils sont ma récompense.
Parlant ainsi, l'enfant vers le dattier s'élance,
Et jusqu'à son sommet tâche de se hisser.
L'entreprise était périlleuse :
L'écorce, tantôt lisse et tantôt raboteuse,
Lui déchirait les mains, ou les faisait glisser :
Deux fois il retomba : mais d'une ardeur nouvelle
Il recommence de plus belle,
Et parvient enfin, haletant,
A ces fruits qu'il désirait tant.
Il se jette alors sur les dattes.
Se tenant d'une main, de l'autre fourrageant.
Et mangeant,
Sans choisir les plus délicates.
Tout à coup voilà notre enfant
Qui réfléchit et qui descend.
Il court chercher sa bonne mère,
Prend avec lui son jeune frère,
Les conduit au dattier. Le cadet incliné,
S'appuyant au tronc qu'il embrasse,
Présente son dos à l'aîné ;
L'autre y monte, et de cette place,
Libre de ses deux bras, sans efforts, sans danger,
Cueille et jette les fruits ; la mère les ramasse,
Puis sur un linge blanc prend soin de les ranger :
La récolte achevée, et la nappe étant mise,
Les deux frères tranquillement,
Souriant à leur mère au milieu d'eux assise,
Viennent au bord de l'eau faire un repas charmant.
De la société ceci nous peint l'image :
Je ne connais de biens que ceux que l'on partage.
Coeurs dignes de sentir le prix de l'amitié,
Retenez cet ancien adage :
Le tout ne vaut pas la moitié.