You worthless *******. Leaving me in such a pettyless ******* existence. This ******* . I hate you so much. There is no such thing as hope. You have not helped me one fuckinf bit . You worthless ******* coward. It is all a lie. And you, are a meaningless. Nothing.

in times like this
I feel myself shying from paper like a little school girl in the prettiest dustpink mini skirt
I feel my cheeks rosing up , into this blush red
I feel my palms sweating like a little waterfall, dripping down to my shaky thighs
The paper scares me
- because being here makes me desperate.             It means that I can’t scream any louder. It means that no matter how many people try to warm me in their embrace I’m still here shy from the paper . Alone and trapped.
Now this little school girl must bleed from her thighs and palms here she must expose the ***** thoughts and the liquids from her vile body.
Isn’t she disguisting in her purity?
Does she make you mad
She is so alluring she dominates all that she touches , I’ll tell you a secret I once saw rain run towards her.
But she’s ugly, and kind and I love that little school girl because I’m tired of everyone giving her up . I don’t know if they’re mad at her for being to pure or maybe she’s not at all
Maybe she’s too many pieces to be loved by a whole
So she finds a few along the way and lets them love a piece of her
The little school told me
That she’s manic
She is a maniac I’ve seen how for the past few weeks she’s danced in her room and jumped in bed with her parents and pretended to be high on some sort of adrenaline
But I’m tired of being creepy and staring at her through the window
Because the real girl is starting to emerge .
It’s making my head sore
AM I A FUCKINF BIPOLAR
Maybe that’s the anxiety whispering
Or is it an alternative personality
I’m going crazy
This one wasn’t supposed to hurt like the rest it was supposed to heal
This one hurt the most
Because - after not believeing that we could love
You thought us that we are the purest form of uncontrollable affection
But we are done now
And we must sleep
Forever
- don’t be scared of me
- I’m confused too
- I’m the old man in the window
- The manic
- The school girl
- And maybe you too.
A multidimensional ******* organism

Ridiculed with opposites..
Positive..
I talk with walk tall confidence
But meekly speak
Of god given talent.
That might amass. To
Accolades accomplishments
Its just room for coffins
Under clothe to be
Cleaned and walk
With losses from my past
That seem to be lost on me...
And haunting me
Like impossible im calm
But I just got my period...
Wait the point is.. impossible
From your colossal disbelief
Like separate. Apostrophe
Inevitable
got it all....
Like model aspirations
Intimidation..  *** i speak
Non judgemental gospel bro....
Like topical relief
For depression.
Anxiety.. bipolar.. **** clozeral...
The boss is waiting in
His office...
I got a shot. With far im possible...
And no way
**** it logan
Says make it probable...
Facing difficulties...
Like riddles to Batmans job at home...
The riddlers ******* got to go
And under neath the ledge.
I'm sure heath.
Has got a spot to watch it all....
Screaming. William
Like black eyed peas...
In the freezer bag...
*** I got to swell....
With beating demons till it freezes over
Believe me all I want from hell...
Switch the flow

Taught me well.. with hard ambition
In it...
Built for ***.. genius. Reaching
Optical incremental prisons
Dysmorphias a numbers game...
And we got it all in switching
But liberation
Is a greater joy. Than all this dimension different vision...
Like a tape you read
Your project with
But yoir vision says.
Two inches and 11 keep
Swapping
Stop this ****....
So you walk into lunch with coffee...
And people switch the fuckinf spots to
Sit in...
*** your coveralls are different...
Laughing
*** your wishing to be a proper certified electrician...
But your just not the idea
Or proper vision
*** your body is the opposite
Of electrician....
**** **** in the parking lot...
All you hearing as you exit
Your not a tradesmen
Dude keep wishing....
Shoulda kept your birth genetics....
Or stick with roofers
**** ill do that ***** you *******
If i woulda kept my ****..
You jerks would still
Look at me different....

why can’t you see that?

you’re shouting at me to the point where you break me,

i’m lying on the ground in tears with a booming headache.

you’re putting words into my mouth,

telling me that i’m not trying, rhat i don’t care about anything, that i don’t give a **** about you.

thanks for all those curse words, now i know what i’m worth.

worth nothing

i don’t care about anything because i’m gonna ******* **** myself soon

there’s no point in living so

i’m gonna **** myself.

wether that be today , next week or next month.

i’m gonna fuckinf do it

because to you and everyone else here

i don’t mean anything

i’m just a toxic ***** who manipulates everyone

i don’t try hard enough

i don’t care

i don’t give any ***** about everyone