Ethereal. That's the squirming quality of that health-hazard house,
where a byproduct of divorce emulsion slept in a bare room on
a bare air mattress, vacuously lying around with the blinds down,
vicious AM radio mumbling through the walls. Homeschooling was more like
becoming housebroken, given that my social network consisted of thirty feral cats.
I suppose some boys require a deadbolt on their room's door.

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.

The apathy cloud that crawled the house led to a
(the deadbolt was to lock me out of my room; not in)
prison break; I awkwardly assured myself that I would
never be anything if I was still Pinocchio, and pleaded
to go to liberal-dominated-non-Rush-Limbaugh-approved public schools.
I did; I got into university, I got a grant, I do research,
I got a job, I got a girl, I got a job, I got a girl...
I don't know how to leave my room now that I'm free.
I still hear the crackle of conversative talk radio.

'Cause we'll put a boot in your *** / It's the American way.

Like trembling flotsam I drift into every class,
every party, every... A poem can regurgitate a person who is all
covered in spit and acid and memories. I still know that house
better than I know my own breathing body. I'm just going to keep running;
like a yellowed refrigerator housing second-amendment-upbringing-coleslaw;
like an overheating computer; like I always do; statically, in stasis.

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.

Add Abilify to your Pristiq
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll add 150 milligrams of Welbutrin
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll double that
but if Abiliify puts fat on you
like some of the corticosteroids
we’ll replace it with Saphris
and hope that doesn’t upset your stomach
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll cut out caffeine and nicotine
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll cut out high fructose corn syrup
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll stop sodas and candy
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll do an fMRI of your brain
and by then you will be so tired
of chasing happiness
that you will just sit down on the couch
and play with your cat
who knows better than you

This is a generosity check? Are you a generous or a selfish giver? You just might be surprised to find some answers within your laundry basket. This piece is called “Dry clean only”

Studies show that regions of the brain associated with frustration and pain were captured in FMRI images of individuals selling personal items that still held specific utility in their life . This frustration and pain was actually documented from items being sold at an above market value! Which got me to thinking. Imagine that same person giving the same item away for free! ” Their head might explode!! Well the bible says “It is better to give then to receive” but someone’s head exploding doesn’t seem better by any means? It made me think about myself and how generous I am. When I give I feel pretty good! So that must mean that I’m a true giver and the other person must be a materialists right? In the spirit of giving I feverishly grinned at my laundry pile and decided to do a little donating! In my gratuitous glow I notice a key difference between the two piles. There was not one sweater in the donate pile that I thought especially made me look ****! That’s just a coincidence I yelled as I arrogantly dangled my favorite sweater over the donate pile. My jaw clinched I felt like my head was in a pressure cooker! OOO NO to my favorite sweater! My head is about to explode!!! Quickly I rescued myself from doom by whisking my wardrobe to the bathroom mirror for a couple SELFIES!!! Hyperventilating on the floor I relaxed myself by posting the photos on Facebook. Shaking like an addict it finally hit me. I was never actually giving in the first place. I was only dumping off what I didn’t want! HHMM well that’s just cloths I screamed!! I’ve given plenty before to my friends, family and especially romantic interests! The threads from my sweater corrected me as it is written “It’s easy to Love people that Love you. Even the tax collectors love those who love them.” Upon it’s declaration the laundry pile came to the door and just stared at me in disgrace judging me with their sleeves and collars. My sweater spoke again “If it’s to painful to give your best to the poor, stranger, elderly, sick and lonely without getting anything in return then don’t pat yourself on the back for giving away your scraps. No I screamed I want to be able to give my best truly! I’m sorry I just never realized that I was such a novice giver after all! I know that I am not saved by what I give. I’m only saved by Jesus and His blood but yet I still have a craving to give my best because “It is better to give then to receive”. And I’m ready to truly find out what that means………………..

I’m supposed to be writing about motion correction and feature func data right now.
You know, science-y things.

But I don’t understand those things.

I don't understand many things.

Not fMRI imaging,
Not the way these keys make words on the screen,
Not the reason you’ll choose to read my poem,
And certainly not why the best people die before they even get the chance to live…

I don’t understand these things.
I just pretend to.

Motion correction is important because…
It’s very technological the way this Mac works…
The title was intriguing I suppose…
It’s all part of God’s plan…

I don’t understand these things.
I just pretend to.

Is that okay?

You sprinkle golden dust
From your poetry thoughts
I read with an almost lust
In fMRI radiant slots

A blue dash between the words
A scarlet touch between lines
A sudden flash of a sword
Here a sweet and there saline

Between stanzas a shade
A breeze from a river shore
Dew on soft green blade
Then further light for sure

Amidst the sweat and blood
Cool handful of flood