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Jennifer Watson Dec 2012
If I could take back every idiotic thing I did,
Would I be happy?
Would you be happy?
I don't know what life's all about.
I'm still trying to figure out,
How to walk while trying not to fall.
I have all these emotions running through me,
But what do they really mean?

I'm trying to pick myself up again,
But all I do is keep breaking.
I'm trying to learn how to love,
Without hating.

No matter how many times i say im sorry,
You wont forgive me.
No matter how many times i cry,
You cant make the tears go away.
No matter how many times i try to be good,
You make me evil.
No matter what i do,
It never will be enoguh for me or you.

I'm trying to pick myself up again,
But all I do is keep breaking.
I'm trying to learn how to love,
Without hating.

I'll let you in,
But you'll just tear me apart.
I would do what you say,
But you don't even mean what you say.
You're on your on planet,
And my message can't get to you.
I never wanted to hurt you,
But you left me no choice.
Mateuš Conrad May 2017
etymology... darwinism on a comprehensive time-scale... past the psychologism of rationalising the onomatopoeia of uh... ah... of a, ******* monkey to a man speaking... and which one to begin with as worthy an origin? chimpanzee? gorilla? lemur? where did bio-diversity disappear to, to state, man, uno? i'd prefer the story of the origin of eskimos... than of africans... i honestly can't be bothered in placing my heart into africa... i want the eskimo story; i'm just tired of the narrative in the current zeitgeist... it's just tiring.*

the etymological basis of the science is prefix-based, or suffix-based, considering origin? i.e. do you begin the origins with -on, or na-? na-tive, or informati-on? past the pentagram variation of vowels (+h, to catch)? it's a genuine question; does tha study of etymology begin with a prefix, or a suffix? tail to a monkey, coccyx to man? head to either as prologue?

oh we're dead, oh we're *the
dead;
hello!
     fish sappings worth of a tails'
    waggling?
you "alive" people are,
******* & boring me with your
"aliveness"
  when i'm dressed to mention
the existene of newspapers...
stop being boorish with my eyes,
i'm scratching them too much!
the european version of the ***
associate... i just opened a can of
                                        sardines...
oh, fair enoguh... you just had
raw salamon, wrapped
                       in mini-rice-"breads";
to be honest?
   i really prefer the ethno-centric
     collapse of cuisine...
     the herrings! the herrings!
the baltic "sushi" of pickled herrings!
        sometimes i can't say squash
without squirming, adding to the act
the word, lemon: and chin chin... china;
a humphrey bogart ask, of:
      kiss me, dear.
you're about done,
either you're faking it...
or you're staging a **** of other cultures,
which means they're justifying, attacking your
    "culture", with due precedence;
what's that like, expressed, justifiably? ha ha
let's just say, the ******* can
start screaming,
i'll still prefer baltic pickle herrings over
sushi. i'm no western european ***-wipe.
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
"I don't wanna be alone, I don't wanna be alone in the darkness"
Marshall knows me
But on a serious note, what did I do now?
I went to head home, forgot to charge my phone.
Before all of this I was already contemplating self harm
Wanted to take the edge off
But that's a stupid filthy way
I'm beginning to scare myself
I was doing well at telling the truth
But look I'm about to lose
Grabbed a bottle of Jameson
Drank myself silly
Burn and bled
Wanted a dose because I'm ****** in the head
I claim I have no one because I'm still battling all it myself
Physical and verbal appearance isn't enoguh nor doesn't help
I'll be alone crying and singing a lullaby
I may or may need a med
The lights are dead
I'm alone in the darkness wishing i wasn't so ****** up
I hope people will keep their mouths shut
I blacked out and started crying
Called my ex
She is so beautiful but it's over and I need to figure out what to do next
I don't remember last night because I blacked out
**** i blacked out
Blacked out
Hello darkness that didn't take long to see you again
Where a blade and a lighter
Lets set blood on fire
I've got the urge because its a desire
I need to chill
Don't give me a pill
Though I'm curious
Resuscitate me if I overdose
I'm curious
Nah **** that
I'm better and know better than to do that
Get off me darkness
I don't want to remember
darkness speaks
"Grab another drink then"
Fine I will
I really need to stop relying Benzodiazepine to chill
But wait I haven't done that in a long time lets keep it that way
I don't need a pill addiction
But **** me for failing again
Why did i let darkness in
Where did it begin
What's happening
My night is a big blur
I remember hearing her voice here and there then i remember puking
Then i remember trying to walk........
Woke up crying.......
**** I'm sober again
What the **** just happened?

— The End —