She draws Crayola green meadows
in which she frolics and laughs
snuggling up to her
imaginary daddy whom she colors
in unstraight multi-hued stripes
accessorized by a large
unselfish heart in brick red
proudly erupting from his chest.
Her sepia brown-blob puppy is
rediculously happy,
just like her
holding the perfect father
she has always dreamed he is.
Together they stare at
blue construction paper skies
and cotton ball clouds
discovering sailing ships,
famous people heads,
and all the animals they will see
on the day he comes
to take her to the zoo.

~

He labors intently within the lines
coloring subdivided spaces
in one direction just the way
he would teach her
if she were here.
Pressing into the bold
outline on a tiger tail
he hears her giggle in his thoughts.

He closes the book
each page fully given life
placing it on the teetering pile of
earlier masterpieces
filed beside his desk
where he and his daughter stored
the art they created
on regular dates they never had.
He rises on the ritual of completion
toward his omnipresent closet
full of stacked and redundant "if onlys",
each one shaped as
a 64-count box
purchased and purchased again
with every book
he intended to share
on their next wax pencil excursion.
On his toes,
one more "if only" goes to the top.

He still colors.

She still dreams.

~

An Orange/Red sun drew itself
out of the bleacher tiered palate
and hung high betwixt
her cottonball clouds
29 years from the start.
Daddy holds his daughter in deep embrace
while a secret artiste' paints
a tiny translucent drop
on her quivering cheek.
The diligence of construction-paper prayers
are answered in the evidence that
there is no crayon for clear...
it is a tear,
and we are really here.

(I love you my precious girl, with every color in the box :-))

2-3-13

THE SUNRISE APPEARS OVER THE MAJESTIC MOUNTAINS
AS I GAZE INTO THE BLUEST COTTONBALL SKY, TEARS WELL UP IN MY EYES
ONLY GOD COULDVE MADE THIS EARTH WE LIVE ON
JUST GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO SEE ANOTHER SUNRISE.

ALL MY RAW EMOTIONS WELL UP WITHIN ME NOW
TEARS WILL FALL, BUT EVENTUALLY THEY WILL FADE
FOR I KNOW THAT LOVE IS EVERLASTING
ALL OF MY FOUNDATION BUILT, THE BEST OF HIS PLANS THAT HAVE EVER BEEN MADE.

CURIOUSITY HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY ENEMY
CAN'T SEEM TO SEE FOREST THROUGH THE TREES.
SOLDIERS MARCH TO THE BEAT THEY HAVE BEEN TAUGHT
ALL I'VE EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TRUE LOVE AND HARMONY.

THE SADNESS COMES FROM WITHIN AND SLOWLY FADES
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH ALL THE AGONY AND PAIN
CLOUDS OVERHEAD, CIRLCING, SHOWING ME THE FUTURE
AM I DOOMED TO REPEAT MY MISTAKES OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

THEN, I SEE YOU, THROUGH THE FOG OF PURITY OF LIFE
AND I WONDER ABOUT WHAT YOU WILL DO, THINKING ABOUT YOU.
GAZING INTO YOUR SEASWEPT, LOVING AND BEAUTIFUL EYES.
THEN I KNOW THAT SOMEHOW, THIS LOVE WILL GET ME THROUGH.

I TRULY HATE PAST MEMORIES THAT MAKE ME CRY
IT ISN'T FAIR TO YOUR LOVING HEART, YOU KNOW THE TRUTH INSIDE
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON ME, I LOVE YOU SO.
I WISH THAT I COULD ERASE MY PAIN AND GIVE UP ON MY PRIDE.

I'VE SO MUCH GUILT AND MISERY BUILT AROUND MY WALLS
WISHING I COULD TRULY LET IT ALL BE GONE AND GO AWAY
AS I SEE YOU CREATE DISTANCE FROM ME, A PART OF ME DIES
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY.

DO YOU TRULY WANT THIS LOVE TO BE REAL AND LAST?
OR, ARE YOU REALLY AT THE END OF ANY PATIENCE YOU EVER HAD?
I'M NOT REALLY A CRIMINAL, BUT CHOOSE THE WRONG INSTEAD OF THE RIGHT.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING GUILTY AND DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU SAD.

ALL MY POEMS SEEM TO BE ABOUT YOU LATELY.
I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS IN THE END....
i GUESS I'LL ALWAYS HAVE MY SENSITIVITY AND *******
I'M JUST WONDERING WHY THE PAIN AND WHEN WILL IT EVER END?


IN HEAVEN, THERE WILL BE ME AND YOU
I KNOW THIS TO BE PERFECTLY TRUE
FEEL ME AND I WILL FEEL YOU
KNOWING THIS LOVE IS REALLY TRUE.

I OVE YOU

Skin pinkish red
A sparse covering of dark hair
Dark little eyes
Tender lips that turn upright in a smile
Little fingers that can barely wrap around the tip of grandpas
Cheeks as soft as a cottonball
A face of indescribable beauty
Spending the day sleeping in peaceful rest
This is Callie .
Born at 4:07 PM
Jan 12,2016