I'm having a devil of a time trying to define the stars around your eyes,
but hey, I'm not a cosmetologist.
I just thought maybelline we could dream about pretty things,
and make up lines that coincide with our collided fantasies.
With puffed up lips and fluffy language as safeguards against sudden incites,
tonight we'll finally smash our parts together if only to discover that we don't even like each other -
not even a little bit.

Chasing
A dream
That can be harder than it seems

There was a time
When I was Young
That I wanted to be
Just like my mom,
The cosmetologist

I grew up
And killed that dream
Because it doesn't pay well

Then I wanted
To be a famous musician
And play in a band
With all of my friends
and for some time I did

That all ended
When I reminded myself
That catching fame
Is like catching a star
Something so close
Can only be far

So I started to draw
My own manga
Started to write
My own stories
Knowing
No one would ever read them
Knowing
No one would ever care
Not once did I try to
Make a life from it
Because living out of stories
Wouldn't get me anywhere

So now I am to be
a medical coder
Chasing something that is
Not at all what I wanted to be

I am leftovers
disappointing takeout
you spent too much money on
(you're supposed to be saving)
sitting in the back of the fridge
guilt keeping me there long past expiration
though I'm inedible

I like to hope that my stomach aches
and sluggish breath, heavy head
are symptoms of childhood dramatics
turned teenage angst
when I'm evicted from my teens
I'll probably call it a quarter life crisis
even so, I've accepted its permanence

I wish on dandelion fluff
variations of the same thing
that one morning I'll wake
from a night of giggles with people I love
swallow down papaya tablets
and the sickening feeling will actually dissolve

My happy is like hot glue
dripped on fingers - accidental
quick to stick
when it cools it molts
takes my fingerprints with it
leaving my finger tips raw

I can't keep secrets, especially my own
they like to creep up my throat
slither out unannounced
while I'm on car rides; restless
they can't hold still for the four hours
that get me everywhere I know now

I used to be incapable of shutting my eyes
when the cosmetologist rinsed my hair
it felt like a trick
like shed crack my neck on the sink
as soon as I relaxed
instead I'd count ceiling tiles to avoid eye contact

Now I feel proud
when I fall asleep on the train
or with someone else in my bed
I count how long I can squeeze
my eyes shut in the cereal aisle
forcing trust to prove something to myself

While my gut is large with its ***-bellied potness
It detracts not from my ****, red-blooded hotness
My beam is broad and my ***** is flabby
My dog's name is Fido and my kitty is Tabby
I once had a wife who turned tricks as a *****
She has completely hagged over and turns tricks no more
From the gutter you acknowledge her enormous heft and thickness
It's as if she's never known hunger, disease or chronic sickness
I saw her recently and I couldn't help but to snigger
As she chose to shack up with an enormous, filthy *****
Climbing her *** was like scouring an iron pan
Like buying peanut butter in Punjab, Pakistan
Like sprucing up in prison
Like denying Jesus has risen
Like poking with a stick your sister's gynecologist
Like winning a scholarship to become a cosmetologist

While my gut is large with its ***-bellied potness
It detracts not from my ****, red-blooded hotness
My beam is broad and my ***** is flabby
My dog's name is Fido and my kitty is Tabby
I once had a wife who turned tricks as a *****
She has completely hagged over and turns tricks no more
From the gutter you acknowledge her enormous heft and thickness
It's as if she's never known hunger, disease or chronic sickness
I saw her recently and I couldn't help but to snigger
As she chose to shack up with an enormous, filthy *****
Climbing her *** was like scouring an iron pan
Like buying peanut butter in Punjab, Pakistan
Like sprucing up in prison
Like denying Jesus has risen
Like poking with a stick your sister's gynecologist
Like winning a scholarship to become a cosmetologist