In a desperate attempt to save hello from near destruction the evil man ****** but yet charming in all togather strange way.
Elliot had a moment of true brillance To get the anchors of hello togather in a nice beach house.
Okay it was a soon to be condemed rat trap hotel on the Jersy shore and film it.
My worries were alerted already for I was really wasnt up for making a **** .
Who am i kidding sure i am.
But like when momma gonzo told me that fat ***** in the red suit
wasnt really santa just a child molester.
I was wondering why santa was giving out candy in july
And why that candy cane was never in his pocket .
So the **** thing was off it was to be a reallity show.
Freee ***** a chance to act up like a three year old hyped up on cookies and crystal **** or whatever the kids were into these days.
They had me sold so like a flock of segulls we ran we ran so far away eventhough probation said no my gonzo sense said yes hey lindsy lohan told me it sounded like great idea and who can argue with a crazy coke head.
So we gathred in the bleek hope of saving hello from total boredom and thoose hiku writting nazis from poetry soup.
Jack, Baths, Chris,Eileen,Gary,Paula,And that ***** Gonzo
really im so insecure must just be that time of the month.
The rooms reminded me as a cross between the bates motel
and something outta the shining yes charming indeed.
We had the top floor I always liked being on top but enough with the
forplay children.
The rooms were picked okay guys over there girls come with me it was worth a try.
The rooms were picked the honey moon suite
going to me and Jack ahh **** there were strobe lights stripper pole heart shapped hot tub jesus it was like elton john had thrown up in here at least it smelled like it.
elliot had made it clear the bar tab was on us but knowing what a true sweetheart he was he had somehow left me his credit card
in my wallet maybe without knowing it.
One thing bout are weird kinda umm well funny smelling digs
there was a true blessing there a bar for what is a gonzo without his bar much like a samuri without his sword or a mean twig model without her cellphone to throw and finger to put down her throat to puke memories all alone in the moonlight dam you cats.
With some simple calls the party was in full swing and are shuttle bus slash pinto had us at the hotest club slash retirement home.
The music blasting so low as to not cause bowel problems.
Me and Chris showing the old farts how to play beer pong.
Missed shot drink up grandma and please put your clothes on
****** you gravity.
Jack kept the dance floor jumping with his fake mustache little captians hat and some other leather gear once told me one thing that ****** was fahasion forward you go girl.
Paula, Baths and Eileen worked the newly started card game. You dont know how to gamble?
Well are girls are happy to show ya gramps
Gary had disapeared to the rest room for some odd reason.
How he did put a smile on thoose old ladies faces seinor care
aint it grand they were were just glowing what a odd place to be giving reading.
After we had hustled i mean helped thoose old folks outta there life savings it was time to party really they were almost dead anyways
and a funeral plot is overrated just do what my uncle did with his ex wife tell everyone one she went on vacation and bury her in backyard.
I'll never go tressure hunting again.
We hit the club like like a hurricane that was laced with wild turkey and and a few rational thoughts.
The night was magic for the money dissappeared in seconds so like any broke *** writers would do when facing a fifteen thousand dollar bar tab.
We got the **** outta there.
Thank god for a restroom window never mind me miss
im with security and may i say you have a great rack.
The hotel reaked of mayhem and a old winos **** and maybe a dead
corpse or two.
HaAHahaha they'll never find you Drew.
It was like the cover of Sgt Pepers lonley hearts club band you know by that classic group the backstreet boys.
Yes drinking it doesnt effect the mind at all now who the **** are you?
Dwarfs junkies men wearing sailors hats and **** straps did Jack have a dance troupe?
Hookers drag queens holy bat crap wonder woman Lady Ga Ga.
Seems she had crashed into are pinto parked in the the street ****** Chris i told you park it on the side walk like me.
Jack as if in a trance was on stage with the space alien ******
known as Ga Ga it was a match made in a state thats probaly filled with crazy people like Utah or Canada.
Okay im kidding i love Canada and i just learned it's a country
oh no wonder they hay have fences I just thought they was a gated community.
Paula hit the floor after her third drink and would probaly question why somone had written this space for rent on her forehead
But like a true man that i was i would blame that on Gary.
Chris and Eileen danced laughed I had this odd feeling they were close as Baths replied no **** sherlock now pour me another wine
befor i kick you in the ***** she is a charmer.
The crew fliming are madness as togather we all danced apon the bar but for some odd reason the ground had tilted and only effected me dam UKs and there ninja abiltys and Garys knack for floating on air.
I went down like a cheerleader on prom night hitting my head apon the floor.
Out like a stripper at a frat boys party after she had beer and roofie
cocktail.
I was taken to a magical place were whiskey flowed like water
and you didnt have to pay for ***.
I awoke in a hospital bed head taped up surrounded by friends
the doctor asking many questions puzzled I made no sense.
Dear Lord this man has brain dammage the doctor said.
The nurse leaned over her low cut top hey it's my write okay.
Brought a gleam to my devilish eyes hey i mouthed to Chris
I can see her *******.
Well Gonzos fine Chris replied.
As From the restroom there was a clatter
so i did turn my hungover head to see what the **** was a matter.
Jack appeared from the rest room Ga Ga in arm.
naked as bald eagle void of feathers.
Gary. Hey i always herd she was a .
Chris Thats just ******* weird.
Paula. Who's the ***** who wrote on my forhead?
Eileen. it wasnt Chrisey poo.
Baths. Jesus Gonzo your long winded crazy and good looking
yeah i added that hey don hit me i just had a near sober experience.
dam gaga is really a.
Jack yeah and im in love my my my poker face
FIN
The first season of the gonzo shore is now out on dvd vhs and eight track although that kinda *****.
Look for next season when we actully have film in the camera.
And if you were offended by my crazy semi sober crap then
balme it all on Gary cheers my friends
STAY CRAZY
VIVA LA GONZO
