Let me take you out to lunch
Mrs Bryce said
(she was a middle aged dame
old enough to be his aunt)

o.k if you like
he said
but her friend Lilly
didn't like the idea

(some jealousy
of the lesbian kind
maybe he later thought)
and was quite reserved

as they went to
the posh upstairs restaurant
he one side
and they opposite

Lilly giving him
the cool stare
her pinched mouth
wrinkled forehead

Mrs Bryce studied
the menu
her glasses on
her eyes focused

what you having Lilly?
she asked
and Lilly scanned
her menu and picked out

something in French
and then she asked him
and he said
o the stew will do

and the waitress came
and took their orders
and went off
wagging her behind

which he noticed
but they didn't
being that part
sexually blind

and then came
the small talk
the casual chat
or this and that

and Lilly straight faced
thin lipped
and icy eyes stare
but he knew

what Lilly didn't
she had no idea
about the ***
or how the middle aged

dame had it still
could still turn on the fire
could **** off his desire
but Mrs Bryce

never said a word
not a hint
she wore her middle age
and middle class morals

very well
a mask of gentility
or cultured good humour
good manners on show

but he knew
she was hot
and could go
(her husband

some middle aged guy
with sourness
and boredness
in each greying eye)

and she sat there
giving it the small talk
sipping the wine
one finger raised

her eyes pure
as cut glass
behind the specs
and Lilly listened

in soft admiration
wanting to be nearer
breathing in
Mrs Bryce's scent

dreaming of the two of them
doing whatever in
some bedroom spent
but he had the real

not a dream
and as he watched
Mrs Bryce sipping
her wine

thin lips
on thin glass
he remembered her
that time lying there

bright eyes
greying but dyed hair
he bringing her
to a seventh heaven

of yes and yes
and more
and Lilly sour faced
sitting and listening

to the small talk
but wanting
something other
for sure.

run nimbly attempt
fall as whispering
((gauche))
why? I still run
why? I still laugh
why? still I tumble
and scream
((gauche))
fit tightly to the mood
run as far as you can
fall as hard as you want
((gauche gauche gauche))
compressed thoughts
continue to swirl
energetic boredness follows
why? I still live

The world was colorless
Meaningless and filled with boredness.
I wander without a route
Until one day, I meet you.

Playing with you is a different experience.
It's like taking a pill of happiness.
I see nothing, but my beautiful dear.
Feeling nothing but giggles as I get near.

The ecstasy to my boring life.
The joy pill that I love all night.
The world was colorless forevermore.
But in the colorless, there are still colors.

I have a cup of orange juice.
Makes me forget about my bruise.
Makes me forget about any anxiety
Depression, boredness and worries.

I can imagine rainbows above my head.
Cats, dogs and birds around my bed.
Anything that hurts won't sting.
As long as I'm enjoying my drink.

A little bit of orange in my life.
Makes me forget about cutting myself on a slice.
Why do we need anti-depressant and alcohol?
When we can just have some juice after all?

Boredness can overtake me very easily
I always forced myself to have to occupy
Whether it be my surroundings
Or my own broken feelings
Since I was a curious little girl
I managed to teach myself hastily
My one fear was to be abandoned
So I never let myself fall behind
A leader slowly turned into a follower
Doing anything for a bit of renown
Looking back now, I regret it
Because what have I gained?
I am living in my own personal hell
Where my one fear dwells
Returning to the past is my one wish
But it's a childish dream
Can I be whisked away?
To a better time and day?
If the waves would grant me the chance
To finally breathe
I would scream
"I'm sorry for everything!"
Just once more, where everyone hears
I could sink into the abyss
And rest in peace