"You speak to me of narcissism but I reply that it is
a matter of my life" - Artaud

"At this time let me somehow bequeath all the leftovers
to my daughters and their daughters" - Anonymous

Better,
despite the worms talking to
the mare's hoof in the field;
better,
despite the season of young girls
dropping their blood;
better somehow
to drop myself quickly
into an old room.
Better (someone said)
not to be born
and far better
not to be born twice
at thirteen
where the boardinghouse,
each year a bedroom,
caught fire.

Dear friend,
I will have to sink with hundreds of others
on a dumbwaiter into hell.
I will be a light thing.
I will enter death
like someone's lost optical lens.
Life is half enlarged.
The fish and owls are fierce today.
Life tilts backward and forward.
Even the wasps cannot find my eyes.

Yes,
eyes that were immediate once.
Eyes that have been truly awake,
eyes that told the whole story-
poor dumb animals.
Eyes that were pierced,
little nail heads,
light blue gunshots.

And once with
a mouth like a cup,
clay colored or blood colored,
open like the breakwater
for the lost ocean
and open like the noose
for the first head.

Once upon a time
my hunger was for Jesus.
O my hunger! My hunger!
Before he grew old
he rode calmly into Jerusalem
in search of death.

This time
I certainly
do not ask for understanding
and yet I hope everyone else
will turn their heads when an unrehearsed fish jumps
on the surface of Echo Lake;
when moonlight,
its bass note turned up loud,
hurts some building in Boston,
when the truly beautiful lie together.
I think of this, surely,
and would think of it far longer
if I were not... if I were not
at that old fire.

I could admit
that I am only a coward
crying me me me
and not mention the little gnats, the moths,
forced by circumstance
to **** on the electric bulb.
But surely you know that everyone has a death,
his own death,
waiting for him.
So I will go now
without old age or disease,
wildly but accurately,
knowing my best route,
carried by that toy donkey I rode all these years,
never asking, "Where are we going?"
We were riding (if I'd only known)
to this.

Dear friend,
please do not think
that I visualize guitars playing
or my father arching his bone.
I do not even expect my mother's mouth.
I know that I have died before-
once in November, once in June.
How strange to choose June again,
so concrete with its green ******* and bellies.
Of course guitars will not play!
The snakes will certainly not notice.
New York City will not mind.
At night the bats will beat on the trees,
knowing it all,
seeing what they sensed all day.

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Giving and taking,
  both day and night

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Some then mistaken,
  some often right

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Last right of refusal,
  the one holding tight

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The lows though not many,
  the feelings they wrought bright

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Words ever radiant,
  the music so fair

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The sweetness of children,
  my soul they ensnared

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The darkest of moments,
  their message to share

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
A voice though unchosen,
  inside me declares

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
As the days grew short,
  and the visitors came

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Their voices cry out,
  now calling my name

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
One verse was enough,
  no time to explain

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
My final breath,
  a lasting refrain

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The money fleeting,
  any fame now gone

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
A 5-Star boardinghouse,
  no curtains drawn

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
With arms open wide,
  and the peace to move on

On my own terms,
  I ended my life
All that I’ve written,
—turned into song

(Villanova Pennsylvania: September, 2016)

Water of remembrance sprinkled
On the mountain crest of recollection.
Indulgent mussy memory catapulted
Stones of retentiveness into the
Courtyard of events like bricole
Of battles.
Pendulum of reminiscences swinging
On oscillating milage of roads like
Trotting horse with drippage of sweat
And itching foots.
Ghost of reminiscences restlessly
Roaming with carriage of yesteryear.

Final year educatees required
Boardinghouse,
But list of items engorged dear
Mother's treasury

"where do l raise money
to buy oyinbo mattress, Ilori?"

Mind pullulated with weariness.
Intonation of worries.
Cantillation of wants.
Deficiency of measured means.
Oyinbo mattress beyond ladder
Of reach.
Gluttonously waiting to devour
Lesser items,
But rays of compulsion unslammed
The gate of respite.

Lordly arrival warmly welcomed by
The dorm room's porter,
Walking majestically to the bed-space
With the acquired cotton wool and raffia leaves mattress.
Gamut of items passed through the eagle's eyes of the housemaster.
Silver painted pail donated by a neighbour passed through the sentry of inspection,
And got its admission.
Mother's used cloak turned bedsheets
Passed through the rigorous scrutiny.
Newly built portmanteau unlocked and neatly dissected, item by item.

Agazed eyes focused on the cotton wool and raffia leaves hand-made mattress.
Expectations rattled mumbling astonishment.
Legs stuck in the mud of mystification.
Telepathic dews covered ocean of thought.
Tranquil silence engulfed vicinity,
Deflating the balloon of hope like a litigant awaiting verdict from the jurist's chambers.
Porter's gesticulating gesture connoted nothingness of demeaning disapproval, perambulating on the hilly terrain of approval.

Akimbo stood l.

Now the verdict!

Molten volcanic magisterial command erupted in a gestapo gesture,
Spudding out from the barytone's baritone voice from the selfsame housemaster,
From the bastion of authority,
And the house generalissimo like a wild brant squalled, matter-of-factly,

"we do not accept bed bugs cotton wool and raffia leaves hand-made mattress here".

Entreaties collapsed.

61–80 of 11462 Poems
«2345»Viewsshow detailshide detailsSort by  
66
BY SUZANNE GARDINIER
I'm used to the emperor's bitterness
I can't find the sweet place unless you make me
. . .
Manuela
BY JUAN DELGADO
She wakes to the odor of sheep,
trying to rub it off her hands.
Dressed up in her native colors, . . .
El Tigre Market
BY JUAN DELGADO
As apparent as the rest, the asphalt cracks
are crowded with yellow weeds, the rust goes
beyond its bleeding color, and the lot's rails, . . .
Peculiar Properties
BY JUAN DELGADO
On my cutting board, I discovered them,
the tiniest of ants, roaming dots of lead.
At first, they were too few to classify, hiding . . .
A Point West of Mount San Bernardino
BY JUAN DELGADO
I.

            By the road she hovers in heat waves, . . .
The Evidence is Everywhere
BY JUAN DELGADO
I.

The Santa Anas, childlike and profound, . . .
45
BY SUZANNE GARDINIER
Wasn't that your cheek against mine last night
Gin Streetlight When somebody loves you Impossible
. . .
Fame is the one that does not stay — (1507)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
Fame is the one that does not stay —
It's occupant must die
Or out of sight of estimate . . .
Now I knew I lost her — (1274)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
Now I knew I lost her —
Not that she was gone —
But Remoteness travelled . . .
Tell all the truth but tell it slant — (1263)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight . . .
Crumbling is not an instant's Act (1010)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
Crumbling is not an instant's Act
A fundamental pause
Dilapidation's processes . . .
The Poets light but Lamps — (930)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
The Poets light but Lamps —
Themselves — go out —
The Wicks they stimulate . . .
I would not paint — a picture — (348)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
I would not paint — a picture —
I'd rather be the One
It's bright impossibility . . .
This World is not Conclusion
BY EMILY DICKINSON
This World is not Conclusion.
A Species stands beyond—
Invisible, as Music— . . .
Aubade with Burning City
BY OCEAN VUONG

            Milkflower petals on the street
                                                     like pieces of a girl’s dress. . . .
Listen
Recall the Carousel
BY LAURA KASISCHKE
Recall the carousel. Its round and round.
Its pink lights blinking off and on.
The children’s faces painted garish colors against . . .
Akechi’s Wife
BY FRANZ WRIGHT
On one occasion Yūgen of Ise Province was offering to share, for a night or two, the comforts of his home with me when a distant, 
bemused expression came over his face as though at the recollection of a joke told him earlier that day; then, to a degree I would not have thought possible . . .
Been About
BY NANCE VAN WINCKEL
The rat traps emptied, the grain troughs filled.
The distance between sheep shed
and my own ice-melt dripping on the mat . . .
Listen
Boardinghouse with No Visible Address
BY FRANZ WRIGHT
So, I thought,
as the door was unlocked
and the landlord disappeared (no, . . .
DetoNation
BY OCEAN VUONG
There’s a joke that ends with — huh?
It’s the bomb saying here is your father.
. . .
Listen
«2345»

What trope is this,
That the old, wizened, simply submit,
Shedding skin and shutting out the sight
Of the melting candle lit.

Contraire! They still feel that whine
of seductive life blowing by,
Promising kisses and smooth skin.
In the mind, the memory of bare feet
In the sand retains its grittiness;
But life, pitiless, creates the mind's body,
A boardinghouse always in decline,
Leaving lips bereft.

Does the old heart believe
That the memory of that electric touch
Will still change the movie
From documentary to romance?
The young play; the old grieve.

Is it life to sit on a bench,
Next to the stench of old men
And laugh politely at yesterday's stories,
While powdered old ladies lean in
Singing hymns of past glories?

Restless desire inspires man's mortal heart
To resist this predestination, unchosen.
I long to dance, to sweat,
To feel, under the sun, the ripeness start.

The hanged me high and tight
My boardinghouse had secrets and helped Confederates
Wasn’t raised or schooled to do this
Had a much better upbringing
Nevertheless what was done is done
Hated that Lincoln
What a nuisance with ideals that disgusted me and many others
Ran a boardinghouse after my Mr. passed
Booth and our friends had a plan
My boardinghouse was where it was conceived and hatched
John had a lot of help at that Theatre
Never admitted guilt and still won’t
July 4 wouldn’t ever matter to me or my kind of person
School kids only learn about me when a teacher makes an effort
Cause my name is not in most American History books
Mostly Booth
My name is Mary Surratt

C@rainbowchaser2020

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Giving and taking,
  both day and night

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Some then mistaken,
  some often right

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Last right of refusal,
  the one holding tight

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The lows though not many,
  the pain always right

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Words ever radiant,
  the music so fair

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The sweetness of children,
  my soul they ensnared

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The darkest of moments,
  their message to share

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
A voice though unchosen,
  inside me declares

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
As the days grew short,
  and the visitors came

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Their voices cry out,
  calling my name

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
One verse was enough,
  no time to explain

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
My final breath,
  a lasting refrain

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The money fleeting,
  any fame now gone

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
A 5-star boardinghouse,
  no curtains drawn

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
With arms open wide,
  and the peace to move on

On my own terms,
  I ended my life
All that I’ve written
  —turned back into song

(Villanova Pennsylvania: September, 2016)