Weakness
Like little legs all frail
No appettite to eat
Slow harsh breath
Dancing in the meadows of pain
Oh dear light
Dont get close to me
For i have a mission to continue
But if you do let me have the time
To be with my owner

A fight in the crowd of soldiers
A bag full of water and a red tape of gauge
Left to confinement
As i dont want my owner to see me have a life battle

A ring to a sign
A text to be read
Everything i saw was bluriness
Then i see slash of black in the atmosphere of light
A sign
Sadness is all i feel
Numb is too at the side of guilt
Let this be a dream for i am not ready
Dont let me go for i cant
Help me know what is true and not
Help me accept the facts
Give me a silent clock
For i can not bear to hear the tick tock
For i dont want the time ticking fast
Fast as my hearbeat roars
Bluriness stains my eyes
Eyes sting like a bee bit them

You may shoot me with words
But you dont know the path im in
You may shout at me with disgust
But ill never show you im weak
You may think im strong but know im human too
You can **** me with your eyes but remember i have the strenght too
Take the piercing pain in the depths of my soul
Carry me like a fragile glass made of stone
Throw me from a cliff for i can fly
Let me be with my love for all i want is to die

Im dead inside
But you made me come alive
Like a little marionette
You picked me my strings up
You even made my lips curl up
Yet you left and so as my - soul
My body lifeless once more
Dead and empty
Like a bullet pierced through me
But here i am waiting for you to come back

I stood still for a moment,
my bad

I've forgotten how it felt
When I don't busy myself
all the time
When I don't cloud my mind
with insignificant things

I'm burned out to the foundation
The easiest tasks are mountains to climb
with no energy left, nor appettite or joy
There's a  constant weight on my chest
a hohle in my tummy,
and a heart beating so fast
for a body this numb

It beats "you're not good enough"
my breath whispers "pathetic"
my hands scream "how useless"
without the energy to make a fist.

Gravity is a merciless foe
pulling you down, inevitable
Sleep means unconsciousness,
not rest
At least a little peace

I do my best to give you the love you deserve
to show you what you're worth
as no one did before

I'm scared  tho of my growing indifference
You're begining to annoy me
when I should be welcoming your love
As you love me like no one has ever done before
like I've  been wanting to be loved
Wanting
for all the time stuck up in my room,
Selth loating, piting myself
"pathetic," in ,"pathetic" out

my bad,
it's a losing game