2 years, a month, and 9 days after I saw you last,
I found 'our song' on youtube.
Now I'm listening to it for the first time
since I'm not with you.

The words are still sweet,
but has the melody always been this sad?
And if it was, did we pick it, because we would always
know it wouldn't work?

I haven't seen you since august 3, 2014.
The morning that I got in an airplane.
The morning that I no other option but to leave you,
even though it felt like I was leaving my life behind.

You left yourself too.
Left your roommate to deal with the leftovers.
Your clothes, your laptop, even your both your passports.
Looking back, I have no idea which version was really you.

But when I left you,
I could have gone back.
I knew the airport, the bus, and the walk to your apartement,
forgiving you could have been my next mistake.

When you left you,
you left me too.
You left my backspace.
My loneliness had been finalized.

Even though we finished, it felt unfinished.
Weeks after I left you ceased to exist.
Your memory got hazy by my teary eyes,
and all the mist of your lies.

There are rumours,
you either became a boat refugee or got married.
You're supposed to be in both Greece and Germany.
And your real name, was even something else.

I suppose I stopped missing you, over time,
but maybe I never became whole again.
I left a part of me with you, and I will never know
where you are.

Do you remember our first apartement together? It was small but we loved it. Do you remember the kitchen? Where you cooked and i burned **** while you made fun of my horrible cooking skills. Where we would stay up till 3 a.m making brownies and laughing our ***** off because we looked ridiculous with our faces covered n chocolate and our hair with poudered sugar. Do you remember the living room?  We didn't have a tv at the time and we didn't need one, all we needed to be entertained was each other. You played the guitar for me n i told you stories. We had concerts where we'd sing our favorit songs really loudly and the neighbors got mad. We played silly games that we invented like we were little children and had the best time of our lives. Do you remember the couch? Where we would sit under our blanket and read books together. Where you slept when we fought and you were annoyed at me. Where i joined you in the middle of the night because i missed you and i can never sleep without you. Do you remember the small balcony?  Where we would stay up during summer nights with a couple of cold beers and a whole lot of jokes to tell. Where we spent hours under the stars talking about life, talking about how this is exactly what we wished for. Do you remember the bathroom? Where we had long baths together, baths that would allways turn into splash wars or passionate ***. Do you remember our bedroom? We painted it blue together since it was our favorite color. and it was the only room we painted because we wanted it to be speacial,and so it was. Do you remember it? It was where we spent most of our time in the apartment. We would spend hours just laying in each others arms. Talking,laughing, making sweet love. Where we had our movie nights. Where we brought each other comfort food and candy when one of us had a bad day and needed some chocolate and hugs. Where we jumped on the bed till we broke it and almost choked laughing about it. Where we helped one another get ready quickly when we were going out. Where we sometimes fought and made up on the spot. Where you held me close every night to sleep. Where i kissed you every morning to wake you up. Where you held my head to your chest as i sobbed and cried because you had to go and i couldn't take it. Where you packed your bags and i hid your clothes so that you couldn't leave. Where you finally decided to stay with me.  Where you told me you can't live without me. Where i told you i can't let you live without your dream. Where we packed our things together and got ready to go to our new apartment where im waiting for you right now