My body is itching for the touch of your fingertips.
If only I knew how to make you miss me
And everything we once knew.
When I’m alone in the silence of midnights and 3 AMs,
I am reliving all of the firsts and the lasts and the where-I-went-wrongs.

far away, outside my door
i could hear the shot gun blast
wondering if he was safe anymore
hopin' he got outta there fast.

my door flung open, i heard him gasp
said "think i finally killed her"
he took off his gloves and boots and mask
it gave me chills like the bone of winter

i patted his back and offered him tea
for now he was distant and forlorn
said "just sit close to me, sweet pea"
in his arms, i felt so alive, felt like being born.

we loaded up the old crimson truck
with bags and guts, hair and brains
we roared loudly away and the chickens clucked
a bumpy ride, we kissed as we switched lanes

i looked in the back seat, but just couldn't tell
the color of the seat from the color of her blood
"together and free at last!" out of the window, i yelled
and soon she'll be buried in the mud.

we turned off the lights and hopped on down
my tiny hand carrying the smaller bags,
he was towing the rest of her on the ground
he stopped, lit a cigarette and took a drag

we were finally bringing out the old
ecstatic and in love, but shaking
wondering if this glittery feeling of gold
is really real or is he just faking?

so we found a spot and dug and dug
then began to feel a sweat
"we really did it" he said, i shrugged
she wasn't gone yet

there were pieces of her long blond hair
getting stuck to my shirt..
i kept seeing pieces of her skin so fair
poking out of the wet dirt…

she was standing next to him in spirit
i could see it in his tired and fearful eyes
his regret of her ****** was so clear it
was like his pain was written in the skies

the final scoops of the dull ****** dust
were sprinkled over the layers of hate
"we shouldn't have done this, we are just in lust -
i shouldn't have took her life, but now it's too late"

he weeped, and moaned and started to walk away
i followed him down, through the eery trails
"don't you see, this is  supposed to be a glorious day!
for now our lives can be nothing short of fairy tale!"

he turned around and said "just go home
i want nothing to do with your conniving tricks…
you evil creature with a head full of poisoned foam
it's not her, but you who should be dead under the sticks!"

before he could say one more hurtful untrue word
i smacked his mouth with my muddy shovel
he fell down hard and groaned, his speech slurred
i grabbed the knife from his ****** belt buckle

i stood over him, "take back what you said!
i'm not the evil one, it's you
you'll always be the reason why she's dead!
i laugh and i know it's true"

i put him to his death that night
for he no longer deserved to exist
chopped and killed with all my mite
left his body there, alone, in the early morning mist.

i was driving away fast and started to grin
when i realized that i was the one defeated,
for now, their souls fly together in the endless wind,
and i'm still the mistress but the one who was cheated.

Marilyn Metzger, 2011
Long Island

You
You made me feel what it is like,
to be hurt,
to be hurt so bad,
I thought that I was going to die,
You made me feel like I had been stabbed,
I felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach
Where you knew that there would be no hope,
no hope for recovery,
or for life.
And you enjoyed it
Enjoyed my pain,
and my suffering

You made me feel what it was like to long,
to long for peace,
to long to see any one but you,
yet long to see you everyday at the same time.

You made me feel what it was like to need,
to need to get away from you,
but also need to be with you.

You were like the sun,
warm and pleasent,
yet cold and out of reach,
I needed you to go on,
but you shined in my eyes blinding me,
blinding me to you motive,
to break my heart,

I was your icicle,
you melted me little my little in the beggining,
but then made me freeze up.

You were the bull,
and I was your matador
I evaded you for a while,
and then tired,
letting my guard down
and you hit me,
you hit me so har
I flew backwards
hitting the fans in the grand stands.
I was dazed for a while,
and then got angery,
I took revenge on you,
but you won again,
I was hurt,
and always will be.

if you think our society is civilized, i ask you why?
because we have clean clothes?
because we have homes made of wood and metal and not branches and mud?
because we dont tear each other's skin off dailey?
because we speak english?
society is the least civilized thing i have ever expierenced.
we drive each other to the point of insanity, we drive each other to slit knife's across our own fllesh, we cause each other to jump over that ledge,
we destroy other things for our own pleasure,
we ****, torture things and laugh,
we ruin a planet that gives us the "pleasure" of liveing,
we are cruel, beautiful, suicidal, most of us ignorant, judgemental, mind blowing, intricate, creatures. but the thing 98% of human's are not is civilized.

A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace