Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

I'm surrounded by a sea of people
As far as the eye can see
All flowing in the same direction
And just floating along, is me

I've been wading in this water
Letting it carry me any way
Not caring about which direction
And never having any say

After wading all this time though
My legs started growing tired
So finally it was time to choose
Which direction I desired

But the problem with floating along
Was that I never became aware
I wasn't really a part of the waves
I was just sort of...there

What I wanted didn't matter
The waves still moved as one
Whether I moved with or against them
Didn't matter in the long run

Then I thought I better get out
And give myself some time to think
But I couldn't see the shore anymore
And with that, I started to sink

Now I'm surrounded by a sea of people
As far as the eye can see
All still flowing in the same direction
But drowning in it, is me

She’s more fun when she is drunk
At least…until she’s not
Because she’s puking in the toilet
And regretting her last shot

She’s more confident when she’s drunk
Gorgeous and ready to score
Until she looks in a mirror
And feels even uglier than before

She likes herself more when she is drunk
Until that feeling goes away
When she is so far beyond gone
That her self-hatred comes out to play

She’s happier when she’s drunk
All her issues leave her brain
But they all come crashing back at once
And cause her so much pain

She likes the world more when drunk
It’s filled with so much good
Until one little thing sets her off
And she hates it all more than she should

She likes life more when she’s drunk
Her mind for once feels still
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to end things with a pill

But she can stop any time she wants
Or so she’d have you believe
Because alcohol makes her seem so happy
That is, until all her friends leave

Do you believe in destiny?
That you were born for a certain need  
A certain path you are told to follow
Which you've no choice but to heed

I was born to be a hero
To protect those who are weak  
I'm the one that will come running  
When others begin to shriek

I jump in the way of battles
And protect the young from pain
Seeing the people that I love be happy
Is what I hope to attain

Sometimes it gets lonely
Standing out amongst the pack
Sometimes it gets scary
Having a target on your back

When people see great power
They want to make it their own
The fact that one day I might lose
Is something I've always known

But knowing I've done some good
And that I might've saved a friend
Every single sacrifice I've made
Was worth it in the end

So it's with a smile on my face
And with a kiss, I say goodbye
Don't you shed a tear my love
'Cause sometimes heroes die

There exists a place on earth
Where one can find true peace
A place away from stress and pain
A place where all of it will cease

For some, it's near the ocean
That a calm can always be found
The waves carry all the stress away
With that familiar relaxing sound

The coolness of the water,
And the warmth of sunny rays,
It doesn't take very long at all
Before the world melts away

For others it's the forest
That sets their mind at ease
The world feels completely still
When you're surrounded by tall trees

The air somehow feels calmer
It smells remarkably fresh
Some birds tweet in the distance
And your thoughts again can mesh

So often we get caught up
In the worries of the day
We forget to worry about ourselves
And take some time away

So whether you go alone
Or with someone you hold dear
Make sure to find the time you need
To make your head feel clear

"Always become the one being hurt
Rather than ever hurting another"
Words I have strived to live by
The philosophy left by my mother

I've always tried to live my life
Standing up for what is right
Helping others no matter the cost
Being everyone's shining knight

What a horrible way to live

Even when I was on the verge of breaking
Even when the burden seemed too large
I always took it onto myself
And it was always free of charge

They all need to pay

But lately there is this voice
Echoing from the back of my mind
That is always fighting to take over
It wants to punish the unkind

Maybe I don't want to forgive

Tell me who is that inside me
Those thoughts can't be my own
Even when there's no one around
Somehow I am not alone

Just let me come out and play

I'm trying to keep it at bay
Am I past the point of no return?
I JUST WANT THE VOICE TO GO AWAY
But.... *Now....it's my turn

Way back when I was younger
I was mistaken as a dude
They asked all sorts of questions
That slowly grew more rude

"Why don't you wear makeup?
Or dress in something nice?"
"If you ever want to get a guy
Why won't you just take our advice?"

When I began in high school
I had just begun to change
I had bought myself some cheap makeup
And clothes that just felt strange

Still, it wasn't enough though
The insults continued to come
"Ugly. Lazy. Undesirable"
It all began to make me glum

By the beginning of junior year
I had fully given in
Dresses replaced all of my jeans
And makeup covered all my skin

It was then, the insults changed
And people began to glare
Said I "cared too much about my looks"
And my "head must be full of air"

I still always got straight A's
The way I talked was still the same
But though I knew that they were wrong
Their comments made me feel lame

When senior year had rolled around
I was lonely as could be
People "liked" what I'd become
But I felt no one liked me for me

I'd never been on a single date
Because all the guys were crude
So it was only a small amount of time
Before I was labeled as a "*****"

When I finally started college
I expected something more
But people took one look at me
And labeled me a *****

I had not been sleeping around
I still hadn't even been on a date
Everyone just made assumptions
And looked at me with hate

The part that was most ironic
Was that after all these years
Of changing to be whatever they said
I was still hated by all my peers

I didn't want to dress like this
I didn't want to just conform
But there is only so much a person can take
Before they need to fit the "norm"

Society is what destroyed me
They are the reason I am this way
I changed to be what people wanted
Now I understand: I'll never see that day

I don't know who I am now
Though everyone else thinks that they do
Now please just take one piece of advice
It's so important to just stay you

You are perfect just as you are
So continue to stay strong
Remember no matter what they tell you
What society says is **wrong

Hatred is like a fire
And can easily be spread
You let it fill you up inside
Hoping to burn away the dread

At first it feels like it's working
Cuz you're distracted from the pain
But the fire keeps on burning
Becoming difficult to contain

It consumes you from within
Burns everything in its path
Growing stronger every minute
Turning anger into wrath

Before you know what's happening
Hate has filled your core
The fire in you takes over
You think differently than before

You can't hold back your comments
And your actions start to change
You get mean to the people around you
And they all start acting strange

While you were letting hate control you
Everyone else moved on
Now as you try to put out the flames
Everything you had is gone

Surrounded by all the ashes
That you let your anger create
You finally begin to realize
The error of your metal state

The right thing to do is move on
And put your fury in the past
Only when you learn to forgive
Will you feel better at long last

It doesn't matter how hard I try
I never seem to get away
Cause after all you did to me
I fear these feelings will always stay

Your lies I believed were the truth beneath
The pain recedes but the heart bleeds
My instincts were right all along
I’m just a part of your love song

You see, I live my life in fear
Fear I won't succeed
And every small critique I get
Makes me once again recede

My Iloveyous to you were inevitable
Like the sun emitting his ardor
Despite the moon in slumber’s nocturne
He shines brightly with fervor

I live my life, always afraid
That I am not on the right path
And if I take one small misstep
I'll have to face somebody's wrath

Time consumes me while I waste it away
Like grains of sand as I clenched and ran
Only to lose it
Again and again

I am eternally scared
That all my judgments are wrong
And if I ever meet someone
They'll only like me for so long

But then I met you out of the blue
You were trying to forget someone too
We sparked like fireworks in the night sky
But the fire burnt out and our colors faded hue

I live my life in constant fear
I fear that you were right
I simply am not good enough
And I will not be alright

Thank you for proving me right
That we were not meant to be
How could you love another light
When I was the one your darkness pleased

But even worse than all these things
Is my terror that someday
I will meet someone else like you
And not be able to get away.

You complete me
&
You destroyed me

In times of crisis or trouble
I’m the one that keeps it together
When the world's crashing around me
I remain everybody’s tether

“Hey are you alright?”

I offer words of comfort
I tell them: ‘all will be okay’
No matter what the problem is
I have something positive to say

“You know…. its okay to be upset”

‘I’m fine’, I tell them all
When things happen in my life
Everyone around me is impressed
That I’ve overcome another strife

“Just keep hanging in there”

The truth is no one knows
That this is how I cope
I hide behind the happy mask
So I can give others hope

“You’re taking this…really well”

But somewhere along the way
I lost track of how I feel
I even tricked myself into thinking
That my happiness was real

“Are….are you sure you’re okay?”

But I can feel my façade cracking
Emotions are breaking through
I don’t have any distractions
And I don’t know what to do

“But..if you’re really okay…”

I force my smile even bigger
And laugh without knowing why
I’ll do whatever I have to do
To maintain this beautiful lie

*“…then why are you crying?”

There are so many times in life
When we are forced to choose
Do we help someone else win
Even if it means that we lose

For me the choice has been easy
Always fill other people with cheer
Even if the choice hurts me,
It's worth it to remove their tear.

There are times when it gets lonely
Putting others before one's self
There are times when it almost feels
Like I put my own needs on a shelf

While doing all I can for others
I try my best to never complain
But even with my best efforts
It's me that gets left out in the rain

When someone needs a friend
I'm always the one that they call
Then when they are feeling better
I'm ignored; left alone too bawl

I don't regret the things I have done
Because it helped show them I care
But sometimes it'd be nice for me
If somebody could be there

Throughout my entire life
I've been hurt putting others first
But never having the favor returned
...that is definitely the worst.

For all the time I've know you
You've worn a mask upon your face
It appeared beautiful, perfect, and friendly
But now I realize that wasn't the case

For hiding underneath that mask
Was a soldier bent on destruction
Posing as a comrade fighting for good
But following the other side's instruction

You wormed your way into our ranks
And we accepted you as one of our own
But all of us were unaware
Your true intentions had not yet been shown

When an opportunity presented itself
You struck without any hesitation
Our troops started dropping left and right
Without any sign of infiltration

You knew you only had so long though
Before your actions got you caught
So you moved to abolish your final target
A tougher task than you had thought

That night, when you attacked me
You allowed your mask to fall
And as you fled, I caught a glance
Of the real person beneath it all

Well, "What doesn't **** you makes you stronger"
And you make me tougher every day
Which is why no matter what you do
I refuse to let you stand in my way

I learned some valuable lessons
About how you fight this war
And now those same old boring tactics
Won't work here any more

So thank you for the knife
That you embedded in my back
For you just gave me the tool I need
To defend against any future attack.

Blowing out candles
and wishing on a star
doesn't always help,
my wish is still so far

Sometimes there's no happy ending
Dreams don't always come true
Sometimes the prince kisses another girl
Instead of kissing you

Left alone in a deep sleep
Still poisoned by the queen
It's suddenly up to you
To find your own vaccine

Without the kiss of true love
You feel as if your through
And when you finally wake
You don't know what to do

You're afraid to stand on your own  
You feel helpless and unable
This is what will happen
When you think life will be a fable

Life isn't a fairytale
Sometimes dreams just die
Every day is difficult
Its a struggle to get by

Its time for me to stop wishing
'cause those things don't come true
It's time I focus on reality
And bid old dreams adieu

"Every single day's the same
And in the end I'm all alone..."
"It doesn't matter what you say...
I feel pain you've never known"

This is how you view your life
As something worth throwing away
And all I wish for is to show you
How to view it a different way

You view the world in black and white
Without any specks of grey
You chose to focus on only the bad
Which causes your own dismay

The real world is full of color
It's a giant work of art
And though it has some shadows
That is just one little part

So when all you see is darkness
And you feel life's become too glum
Just remember that it won't last
And there are brighter things to come

There is beauty all around you
And every day is a new surprise
Full of joy, and people who care
You just have to *open your eyes

Everyone has choices in life
And make them every day
Small decisions like what to eat
And big ones like go or stay

Each and every decision
Presents a different path
With tons of decisions every day
Well, you can do the math

Who knows what would change
If we could redo what's already passed
"...If that one thing had been different?"
A question we've all asked

If you were given the opportunity
Would you change an event so small
Would you really take that chance
When that little thing could change it all

Sometimes when life gets bad
We want to take it all back
We wish that things were different
And want to try a different track

After doing lots of thinking
I think we are where we're meant to be
On the road to greater things
We just have to be patient and see

I used to believe in destiny
I used to believe in fate
I thought I'd end up at just the right place
And everything would just be great

I used to believe in honesty
In speaking up for what you believe
I thought people would value the truth
I didn't think that they would leave

I used to believe in people
That deep down everyone is good
That's why violence, cruelty, and abuse
Were things that I never understood.

If there is good in everyone
Do people just choose the bad?
Do they decide that life is more fun
When your goal is to make others sad?

If being honest is always best
Then why does it create drama?
Arguments, attacks, and insults...
Why not save ourselves the trauma?

If there is really some higher plan
Why do so many people end up falling flat
People are bullied, abused, homeless
Tell me, what kind of master plan is that?

I used to believe in destiny
Maybe I was just naive
I used to believe in the good
Now I don't know what I believe.

Once there was a little bird
With nothing left at all
All alone stuck on the ground
The bird just felt...so small

So the bird began to walk
Till the old nest was out of sight
It didn't have the strength anymore
To stand up for itself and fight

After walking for forever
It found another nest
But decided to keep walking
It didn't want to be a pest

But there was someone in the nest
That kindly invited the bird to stay
And though the bird was cynical
It thought "well maybe just today"

The day turned into a week
That week turned into two
And before the bird realized it
All its problems slowly withdrew

Its feathers gradually grew back
And its wing slowly began to heal
The more time it spent in this new nest
The more living here seamed ideal.

The bird got its confidence back
And once again it could soar
It flew around with its new friends
And sang louder than before

Once there was a little bird
As happy as could be
It soared up in the sky all day
Home at last...and free

When fighting with depression
One waits for their mental shift
The magical moment when it is over
And their mood begins to lift

Sometimes along recovery road
You find a mental shift that's fake
It doesn't last for very long though
Sadness sneaks back in just like a snake.

I do not suffer from depression
But I do have my own traumas
I want to stay in bed forever
And never change out of the pajamas

I fight to put them behind me
In whatever way I can
Sometimes I think that I've moved on
But find I'm right back where I began

It's like wandering through a forest
But in the middle of the night
With a map I cannot read
And a tiny broken light

I know there is a way out
But I just can't seem to find it
And sometimes I think I see a light
But then fall into a tar pit

After years in the dark forest
After trudging through so much tar
I thought that I was finally free
And could follow the light of a star

That star was my false shift
For I am still fighting like hell to cope
I am still wandering in a never-ending forest
But I might have a tiny glimmer of hope

One of the easiest ways to be happy
Is to let go of what makes you sad
So how could letting go of you
Really be that bad

Our relationship has gone downhill
Things are getting out of hand
You've pushed me and you've hurt me
Now it's time to take a stand

I'm sick of being walked on
And so sick of being used
And whenever I'm around you
My self esteem getting bruised

Something has got to change
I'm through being shoved around
So I'm saying what is on my mind
No more backing down.

I feel like I'll never understand
The idea of one's appeal
What causes us to hate someone
And think of someone else as 'ideal'

How can we go through our lives
Making decisions every day
When we don't even understand
Why we think this way

Are we simply born this way
Programmed with our opinions
Are we traveling though our lives
Just acting as our emotion's minions

But if that if that truly is case
Then I find it very strange
How at some points in our lives
Our opinions start to change

What causes us to change
What causes this mental shift
Why is it after a certain time
Our old self starts to drift

Do our feelings ever really die?
Can our beliefs so easily sway?
And if our thoughts are what define us
Do our old selves fade away?

What happens when you can't decide
What you think is the right way
Yes, what happens then?
*Maybe we just fade away

I want to be appreciated
I want to be adored
I want to know that when I speak
My words are not ignored

I'm sick of how I'm treated
I'm sick of being put down
I'm sick of working hard all day
For nothing but a frown

I need to feel important
Maybe just this once
I need to know in someone's head
I'm more than just a dunce.

I know that I deserve more
I know I'm treated wrong
But I know no matter what they do
I'll continue to play along

I wish I could be better
I wish that they could see
All the things that I have worked for
And earned the right to be

Why can't it ever be enough
Why can't I just win
Why can't I feel like just this once
It was worth it to begin

Maybe things will never change
Maybe you just are what you are
It might just be my fate to know
That I will never be a star.

They say that you've gone crazy
And that your mind is in the slum
When you repeat your actions
But you expect a new outcome

I never thought I was insane
Until the day that we first met
You fought me on every little thing
To the point where I got upset

I told you to leave me alone
But you fought me on that too
You said you were only joking around
And that you understood my view

I forgave but didn't forget
Until the next time it came up
We were at each other's throats again
And I wanted to just break up

"But love doesn't quit" you said to me
"You can't just walk away"
Suddenly I felt it was all my fault
And by your side I decided to stay

The fights grew closer and closer
And slowly got more intense
It got so bad that out in public
Strangers came to my defense

They say that you've gone crazy
And that your mind is in the slum
When you repeat your actions
But you expect a new outcome

They say that I've gone crazy
And I guess what they say is true
'Cuz no one seems to understand
Why I keep forgiving you

My year's been like a rainy day
Full of sadness and gloom
Just dragging on forever
With a hope that flowers will bloom

This month has been a storm
Full of anger, aggression, and hate
With thundering people all around me
That make me feel second-rate

I vaguely remember a time though
When the sun was always out
A time when I could do anything
My head wasn't filled with this doubt

Last week my life was a tornado
Pushing me every-which-way
Spinning, rising, and falling
Quickly leading me astray

Yesterday I could almost see the sun
And the weather was almost warm
Light was peaking from behind some clouds
A calm before another storm....

Today my life was a blizzard
And it chilled me to the bone
Leaving me feeling numb
So numb and so alone...

I miss those summer days...
Before life became so gray
I'm sick of feeling cold and numb
*Just wishing for a warm sunny day

Ive become haunted by a Demon
Who’s making me question my mind
At first I thought he was an Angel
Cuz at first he seemed so kind

He helped me to unwind
And offered me support
When I was able to breathe him in
I felt like I was finally docked at port

I found his presence intoxicating
I always wanted him around
The insight he brought to my life
Was really quite profound

But those good feelings didn’t last forever
And I decided to take some time away
But he refused to leave my side
And I began to feel like prey

I can’t ever seem to escape from him
Hes mastered manipulation and seduction
My inability to walk away
Will be the cause of my destruction

I look into the mirror each day
And am frightened by what I see
Dark circles and red eyes
Is that the demon or is that me?

Every time I think I’ve escaped
He pulls me right back in
“You can’t survive without me
You just have to let me in.”

His voice echos through my head
His thoughts replace my own
….I love  him...I need him...I crave him  
And I’m afraid to be alone

I fear that I am not strong enough
And I want to let the demon win
Let go of loneliness-- embrace corruption.
I submit to my addiction again

Once upon a time
In a kingdom far away
There grew to be a princess
Who in a castle, was forced to stay

The princess longed for adventure
And to go off on her own
She wished to ride and fight all day
Not just sit upon a throne

But every time she brought it up
Her thoughts were just shut down
"It's too dangerous, you'll get hurt
It's my duty to protect the crown"

Everywhere she went
She was guarded by a knight
And with every passing minute
She felt her spirit become less bright*

I refuse to be that girl
I am not some helpless flower
I will not spend my entire life
Guarded in some tower

I will never be your princess
Instead I'll follow my own direction
I will go on any expedition I choose
And I'll do so without your protection

I want to write a poem
And dedicate it to you
'Cause when I'm down and want to cry
You're the one that I turn to

You've been here for it all
Through all life's highs and lows
I've slowly opened my heart to you
And told you things that no one knows

My life is greatly improved
Because of your constant support
I am so grateful for all the praise you give
Even when I feel I've fallen short

I have never seen your face
Nor do I even know your name
But with every single note we share
I feel our hearts are just the same

Thank you so much for everything
Every comment, message, and heart
Words can't express how much it means to me
That you all appreciate my art <3

How would it affect your life
If someone said to you
You aren't good enough to succeed
At the thing you most want to do

Would you not let it get to you
And push forward to your goal
Not letting them have the satisfaction
Of having any form of control

Would it fuel you like a flame
And give you the drive to succeed
Working harder to prove them wrong
And having extra reason to proceed

Or would their words be like a dagger
And cut you to your core
And cause your mind to feel
Like its in the middle of a war

'Cause that's what your words did
They caused a battle in my brain
Continue to work towards nothing?
Or quickly abandon that train?

Part of me felt like six years of work
Should just be thrown away
I no longer had the confidence
To move forward in any way

But I knew I wouldn't be happy
If I chased any other dream
So I felt like I couldn't win
Life was a constant battle upstream

A year is how long it took
To repair what you destroyed
To put back pieces of myself
And remember what I once enjoyed

But now I'm ready to move on
And pursue the things I love
As for all your hurtful words...
I'm ready to rise above

Once there was an army
Who's forces were made of five
Together they were stronger
Than anything else alive

First there was the leader
Who was confident and calm
She offered words of encouragement
She was like the army's mom

Next there was the guide
Who was like the army's heart
She kept them all on the right path
Always happy to do her part

The army had a single warrior
That acted as its claws
She joined after seeing her lover's death
And was fighting for a cause

Next there was the strategist
Acting as the group's brain
For every single move they made
It was her behind the reigns

Finally there was the healer
Who represented their soul
Full of innocence and purity
That they were fighting to keep whole

But in reality, no one is perfect
Everyone makes mistakes
One small error along the way...
In the end, that's all it takes

The leader was the first to die
And her ego became her fatal flaw
After turning her back on an enemy
Her death was one everyone saw

After watching her closest ally die
The navigator's heart became filled with hate
Without a thought she ran into the fray
Where she too was met with the same fate

Now what becomes of a warrior
Without a leader or a guide?
She lays down her life and fights till the end
Making time for the others to hide

But the soul had lost its innocence
And the world had all turned grey
And with no body left to contain it
Her essence fades away

Left alone with just her thoughts
Is none other than the brain
She blames herself for everything
And it slowly drives her insane

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder
If you ever still think about me
If I ever cross your mind at all
And if you’ve ever once felt guilty

Because I still think about you
Much more often than I desire
And every single time I do
It’s like my brain’s been set on fire

I think about the person I once was
Hopeful, jubilant, and carefree
Every day was an exciting adventure
And my whole life was ahead of me

But you took all that happiness away
With your words as sharp as knives
Its amazing, through so much mental abuse
How the body still survives

Because you caused so much damage
That it has lasted all this time
And though the scars were never visible
What you did should be a crime

Even though I left you years ago
Your words live on within me
It makes me feel like I am trapped
And from this pain, I can never flee

They say “Forgiveness doesn’t make you weak”
And that “Its what can finally set you free”
But I could never find it in me to forgive you
Because you destroyed all the good I had in me

Whenever I look in the mirror
I'm not sure what I'll see
Because the person staring back
Isn't really me

The person in the mirror
Is nothing but a lie
Doing what people want
And mimicking those near by

The makeup that she wears
The fact that she's lost weight
All just makes her look like them
The people she used to hate

The way she acts and talks
The things she'll do and say
It's absolutely horrible
She's truly gone astray

Then the smile on her face
It's the biggest lie of all
Because I know deep inside
She feels like she will fall

So I ask you this question
And please, think it through
Is your reflection staring back
Still the real you?

Sometimes I feel like a puzzle piece
Looking for the perfect spot
But actually finding a connection
Is harder than I would have thought

Sometimes I find a section
That looks exactly like my hue
But our edges just won't match up
And I have to begin my search anew

I recently thought I found my place
Where everything seemed to fit
Together we'd be a work of art
I thought this was finally it

But once we started to get closer
I noticed that something was wrong
Our pieces wouldn't fit together
And I once again would not belong

I didn't want to search anymore
After the years of frustration
So I came to the conclusion
It was time for an alteration

There were pieces of myself
I thought I could afford to lose
So I began hacking at my edges
And changing some of my views

Even with the changes though
We could never be a match
I couldn't become the proper shape
For us to be able to attach

But as I turned to leave
It occurred to me what I'd done
I'd altered myself forever
And might not ever fit anyone

My once perfectly smooth edges
Were now ugly and uneven
And so I left it all behind
Thinking I had nothing to believe in  

While I wandered around the world
Feeling helpless and alone
I soon discovered a brand new place
Called the crooked puzzle zone

It was a city full of misfits
Who thought they'd never find their place
They were all so friendly and welcoming
Of my broken, tattered face

Together we still make beautiful art
It's just a little more abstract
And though we don't have our "perfect pairs"
We can still happily interact.

So whenever you're feeling down
And life has made you weary
Remember the world is full of puzzles
And every piece is necessary

Once there was a little bird
As happy as could be
It soared up in the sky all day
Joyful and carefree

The little bird loved to fly
Till someone broke its wing
It was okay living on the ground
But the thought caused quite a sting

That bird had beautiful feathers too
Till someone plucked them out
With nothing to protect itself
The bird was full of doubt

So the bird built itself a nest
Till someone else made it their own
With no room left for the little bird
It went off all alone

The little bird used to love to sing
But somehow it lost its song
It knew it still had a voice inside
But everything felt wrong

Once there was a little bird
With nothing left at all
All alone, stuck on the ground
The bird just felt....so small

Do you ever get that feeling
Like someone's watching you
I used to be a nobody
So this feeling is kind of new

I'm used to being alone
No one wanting me near
Doing whatever I want
Without ever having to fear

Now I'm in the limelight
And I'm not really sure why
But anywhere I go
There's always a lurking spy

Now no matter what I do
Everyone wants to know
I can't have any privacy
My life's become a show

I feel as if I'm famous
But not in a good way
Everybody talks about me
I feel like I'm on display

People voice their opinions
On all my private affairs
Someone just make them all shut up...
*Someone stop their stares...

As everyone else talks and laughs
I watch quietly from afar
It seems so natural for everyone else
But for me just feels bizarre

My generation is so obsessed
With things I just don't get
They grind, they kiss, they 'get a room'
With people they've just met

I watch it happen again and again
My friends all want to 'score'
But for me that wild party life
Is nothing but a bore

I'd rather be playing a card game
Than raving at some club
And I'd much prefer an exciting book
Than drinking at some pub

So maybe I'm a bit different...
I'm an ace you just can't play
I spend some 'boring' times alone
But....honestly, that's okay

What happened in your life
To fill you with such hate
Why do you have to ruin
Things that could be great

Whenever you open your mouth
One of two things comes out
Stories of how great you are
Or words that create self doubt

You stab people in the back
And you make them feel like crud
And those are just the people
That you can call your 'bud'

It really baffles me to think
That people like you exist
But what shocks me even more
Is how it constantly persists

No matter what you do or say
You're welcomed with open arms
Its as if you've got everyone
Under several of your charms

Why are you so rude and mean
And how come no one else sees
The horribly, ugly true colors.
Of this person they're trying to please

Ever since the age of ten
I have always preached one thing
Learn to be happy being single
And know you do not need a ring

Though I firmly believe it still
You can be happy on your own
I've grown to question if there's a reason
That I prefer to be alone

I think it boils down to more
I think I'm really full of fear
It's the underlying reason
Why I don't want people near

What if I get in too deep
But they don't feel the same?
What if I'm just strung along
And they play me like a game...

What if it's the opposite
I'm the one that they dream of
But no matter what I do
I will never be able to love

I have a hidden bigger fear
What if our love is true
What if I find happiness
That can only be found in you

What if we get married
And everything is great
What if I've found my one true love
And he gets ripped away by fate

I don't think I am strong enough
Since love can only end two ways
The choice is yours, death or divorce
Either way it ends in a blaze.

To be in a happy loving relationship
The thing I most secretly wish for
But an even deeper secret than that
Is that it frightens me to the core.

*Maybe I'll be alone forever...

I've been torn down the middle
I've been split into two
Half of me loves you
But part of me is through

It's so hard to be with you
But so hard to stay away
So I wonder what to do
Each and every day

I know in my heart
That something has to be done
But I know in my soul
This battle can not be won

So now we've come to a point
Where I stay or I run
Could this really be over
Could we really be done?

In my eyes you're a candle,
You're my source of light
You fill me with warmth
With you things feel right

In her eyes you're like jewelry
There to make her look good
Why you chose her over me
I've never understood

She does nothing but use you
For her own selfish gain
Watching her do this to you
Fills me with pain

She takes up all your time now
So you've left me in the dust
Watching her get her way
Just fills me with disgust

As time goes by
She's suffocating your flame
Your light is almost out now
And she is to blame

I keep hoping one day
That you'll find your old spark
But until you do
My world will be dark.

I've always had a problem
With telling others how I feel
I try finding ways to express my thoughts
But instead I find more ways to conceal

I can never find the words to say
"Hey you're starting to drive me nuts"
Instead I keep it bottled up inside
Till I start to hate their guts

I yearn to admit my feelings for others
To say: "I am interested in something more"
To be able to open my heart to them
And say they are someone I adore.

I also wish I could call on others
When all I want to do is cry
But whenever people try to help
All I can ever do is deny

I want to be able to let people in
And to say what's on my mind
To answer all of their questions
And not keep my emotions confined

I wish I could do all these things
But instead it always goes wrong
I push everyone I love away
And they all feel strung along

So when I feel like I am alone
And like no one really cares
I know that it is my own fault
'Cause I'm "the one that never shares"

I have always been a skeptic
On things concerning love
The very idea of love at first sight
Was something I'd grown sick of

How could anyone fall in love
With someone they didn't know
Surely such a thing could not exist
In anything other than a show

But 'love' simply isn't the right word
For the feeling that takes place
It's like the world slows down around you
And your heart picks up the pace

You see, I knew that you were special
From the moment I looked into your eyes
I felt something for you in an instant
But I had yet to realize

Fascinated by your splendor
And the way you were full of light
Some part of me needed to know you
And just introduce myself outright

I grew close to you so quickly
And looking back I should have known
All I wanted was for you to be happy
Because my feelings for you had grown

So even if you're with someone else
And you travel far away
I will continue to be there for you
And by your side I will always stay

So I'm forced to hide my feelings
From absolutely everyone
Not a soul will ever know
That you're my forbidden one

Every time you say I can't
I believe it a little more
I used to have big hopes and dreams
But now you've shut that door

Your words are like a poison
and they've sunken in so deep
They echo in my head all night
and make it hard to sleep

"You'll never amount to anything,
You shouldn't even try"
The words you've drilled into my head
They're the words I now live by

I just want to prove you wrong
But I don't think that I can
I don't know what to do anymore
Cuz I'm back where I began

Why bother trying anything
If all you ever do is fail
Is there any point to fighting hard
If you never will prevail?

I have unique opinions
Just like all of you
Sometimes they seem out there
I have a different view

I think that show is good,
I think that dress looks nice,
I think that things are better
When you experience them twice

But my opinions are wrong
Or so you'd have me believe
You don't listen to a word I say
Because you think that I'm naive

I vocalize my thoughts
And all I hear is "No"
You always shut me down because
I "think" whereas you "know"

I can't get out a single thought
Without you telling me I'm wrong
Your words continue on forever
And eventually others tag along

Everything you ever say
You present as if it's fact
Other people must be mistaken
And you inform them without tact

Lately I don't even bother
I keep my thoughts all locked away
It isn't worth it with you fighting
Against every word I say

I think people need to shut up
And just let me say my due
I'm aloud to have my own opinions
But of course that opinion is wrong too

"Always put you're own needs first"
That's what you've always said
For if you attempt to help everyone
Too thin, you'll soon be spread

But I chose not to listen
Which is really nothing new
I wore my heart upon my sleeve
And into danger, I flew

Building other people up
Was always worth it in the end
No matter how many times they fell
My hand would always extend

But I started to feel that weight
Pulling me every-which-way
And with my own world crumbling around me
I soon fell into dismay.

I guess in some ways you were right
I should have made sure to care for me
So I tried to make that change in life
And listen to my own heart's plea

I took a little time alone
And focused on my own needs
But when I spoke of that choice to you
You disapproved of all those deeds.

You said my choices were selfish
And that my actions had all turned rude
Since I no longer blindly followed the plan
You and I began to feud

I was left completely baffled
For I had done just as you said
I took the time I needed
And did things to clear my head

And that is when I realized
What those words had really meant
It wasn't so much a piece of advice
But ideals you followed a hundred percent

"Always put your own needs first"
That is exactly what you did.
I wish I'd listened a little closer
To the truth you never hid

Because when it comes down to it
That's really what you believe
And now that I have finally seen the truth
I fear, I've no choice..but to leave

How far might you go
To protect those you hold dear
How much could you give up
To keep them in the clear

If their life was put in danger
By someone who wanted a thrill
Rather than sit and watch them die
Would you be willing to ****?

What if it were both of you
Who's lives were on the line
If asked who's life should meet an end
Would you be able to say "mine"

What if they were an angel
Who always put others first
And they sacrificed themselves
To keep the world from getting cursed

Would you respect their wishes
And allow their life to end
Knowing they'd be forever in pain
Would you allow them to ascend

Or to guarantee their happiness
Would you give up your own
Would you rebel against your love
And forever be alone

Causing them to hate you
And giving up your soul
Would you still embrace the darkness
To prevent their noble goal

How far might you go
To protect that which you adore
Would you descend away from good
Would you forever close that door?

You cant start the next chapter
If you keep on reading the last
So I'm finally turning the page
I'm letting go of the past

I'm forgetting all the arguments
And forgetting all the lies
I'm getting on with my life
And cutting the old ties

Even the good memories
I'll leave them all behind
Nothing can hold me back now
I've made up my mind

About everything that happened
I no longer care
I'm taking a step forward
Moving out of this despair

This is truly the end now
The end of us, and of pain
I've learned some life lessons
And how to dance in the rain.

Not a single day goes by
That I don't reminisce
On the good times that we had
And all the things I miss

My head is full of memories
Of all the days we shared
Driving all over the city
And doing anything we dared

We used to talk all night long
About the future and the past
We dreamed of seeing the world
We thought the time we had would last

But the funny thing about time
Is that it really doesn't care
If it ruins all your plans
Or if it makes life seem unfair.

Our dreams did not come true
Because time just slipped away
Our lives were suddenly torn apart
And the future turned dark and gray

I have missed you every day since
And I will miss you till the end of time
Some people believe that you only get one...
And I think you might have been mine

So I'm making sure to tell everyone
"Make time for what matters to you"
Because we think that we have forever
But that really isn't true...

I've come to the decision
That friendship is a knife
You grab onto one for self defense
To protect your very life

You keep it by your side
And when things are looking grey
You clutch it even tighter
To keep your enemies at bay

The knife gives you security
And you know it is always there
But sometimes after a bit of time
That knife begins to wear.

The handle might break off
Leaving nothing but the blade
But it's the knife that you are used to
So you grab it; unafraid

It cuts into your hand
but you try to ignore the pain
Hanging onto this piece of you
Is worth the open vein

As you're hurting more and more
You hold on to the knife more firmly
Until the knife begins to hurt so much
That you are begging it for mercy

The tighter you hang onto it
The more damage it can do
Only one person can make it stop
In the end, that person is *you

People ask me what's going on
I tell them all I'm okay
I am a better liar than I thought
Because inside I feel gray

Without you here with me
Everything feels wrong
And whenever I see you
It is so hard to be strong

Best friends forever
That's what we always said
But that was the old you
And the old you is dead

From inside that corpse
A new you came
But ever since then
Nothing has been the same

With the old you it was easy
And I could always be myself
But with the new you it was difficult
You care for no one but yourself

So I put a fake smile on my face
And I try to fight back a tear
Because the truth is...
Loosing you was my biggest fear.

Today I finally let go
Of all the pain that you have made
The damage that you did
And the way I've felt betrayed

Today I finally let go
Of the overwhelming toxicity
The pain that over-took me
And of a life without simplicity

Today I finally let go
Of the doubts that filled my head
All the helplessness inside
The inability to move ahead

Today I finally let go
Of carrying around that fake smile
Plus all the weight of self enmity  
Which caused each step to be a trail

Today I finally let go
Of that devastating negativity
Feeling like I was worthless
And wanting so badly to flee

Today I finally let go
Of feeling like I couldn't be me.
Today I finally let go of you.
Today I am finally free.