you are the smell before rain,
you are the anticipation of what is to come

you are the shapes that i see in the morning
        when i rub my eyes,
you are the start of each new day

you are the sky at midnight,
you are beautiful and mysterious

you are quiet summer nights
     after days full of sun
   and excitement,
you are the feeling of being
       happy
           with everything
  just
   the way
  it
         is

last summer
you lent me your sweatshirt,
and i lent you my heart.

it's almost summer again,
and i haven't seen you in months

but
i have kept your embrace,
and you have kept my heart.

tumblr, reading and writing
would take the place of school

we would send all the people we hated
to an island
far, far away

and

all the boys we liked
would love us.

breathing the same air
hearing the same silence
reading the same words
copying the same notes

thinking a myriad of different thoughts

you go about your day
oblivious to all the people
who are madly in love with you

i try to let you know,
make you notice

giving you hints;

leaving my hand on your back
just a moment too long,
catching your eye in the middle of class
just to smile.

i want to know if there is anything i can do to help.

and if there is, what it is
and how i can do it.

i really do care about you
and i want you to be happy and safe.

if there isn't anything i can do,
or even if you just don't want me to do anything,
that works too.

just tell me,
please.

even if it's just talking (however cheesy it sounds, i know it helps me sometimes, and i'm up for it)

also,
i want to apologize for taking this long to say something
(i don't even know how many times i've written this in my head)
i didn't know what or how to say anything, so i just didn't.
then i remembered that you are one of my dearest, dearest friends and i can just talk to you, it doesn't have to be anything fancy or complicated.

i want to apologize for writing this as well.
i'm very shy when it comes to dealing with things that carry emotional weight, and writing is a lot easier for me than talking.

so yeah,
   here is a tiny piece of my mind for you to look at.


i love you.