the stress was taking over

so i took a minute,
and folded my clothes.

the stress was taking over,

so i took a minute,
and paired up my socks.

the little things,
busywork.

they saved me.

even before i went outside
i could tell that it was going to be nice

i put on a loose t-shirt
and felt live air
on my skin
for the first time
since last year

left the house
without needing a coat

the earth is coming alive again
and so is my spirit

i think of you
in the morning
as i wake up,

and in the moments before
i drift off
into nothingness
at night.

the stress level is rising,
rising,
rising.
i can feel it in my chest.

i need to do this
i'm in the middle of doing that
and it really shouldn't wait.


then it turns out that this
is three times more complicated than i thought it was,
that needed to be done hours ago,
and it is due tomorrow morning.

       calm down honey,
                  *you'll be okay.

but
instead, i'm sitting here
writing,
scribbling little notes to myself

i told myself that
i would get up
as soon as i put my music on
but
how could i resist
curling up in my chair,
listening to the music
playing in my room
and the wind
swirling around outside it?

sometimes
when i forget to eat
my hands start shaking
and i can't make them stop

it kinda scares me.

you have a permanent home
in my head

you've rented an apartment
and are now
one of my many tenants

you barely ever leave your home
mostly just sitting in your room
poking my mind
so i can't think of
anything but you

i wish you would
pay your ******* rent.