my lips
get so chapped

i can't help it

but if you would
kiss them

i would try
so hard
to keep them
nice and
tender
just for you

sometimes
my textbooks
turn into
gibberish
and i have no idea
what they are trying to tell me

i really like the closet
i have a pillow and
all my notebooks
some candy
my laptop
a place to put my feet

i bet i spend more
time on the floor in my closet
than anywhere else in the house

tag
itch, itch, itch
scratch
wiggle

this isn't working

she still comes to your room
to check on you,
in the middle of the night

to see if you are still breathing
just like when you were a baby

in the day she looks annoyed at you
and you, in turn
look annoyed at her.

you get in fights.
you call her a *****,
say that you hate her
and wish that she never adopted you.
you run away

but
she still comes to your room
to check on you
in the middle of the night
to see that you are still breathing

i've gotten over it
mostly.
now it's just
the flutteries

and that's only when you
look at me
or talk to me
or are particularly close

this is good.
i'm not sure how long
i could have lasted
in the state i was in before.

this isn't pleasant

i don't like this feeling
i've felt sick
with giddiness
the past two days.
it's not a good sort of giddiness.

i wish i could brush off our interactions
like i can with everyone else
it just isn't working

i need to
get over you now
or cut you off

like i always have before.