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I was a victim
Of your addiction.
One of your numbers
It's too bad
You don't keep count.

I was one of your poisons
You used to try
to ****
All the slices and scars
All the sadness and pain

I was one of your mistakes
A strong one
That put bars over the door
Kept all the razors at bay.
Would never run away.

Yesterday you gave up
Addictions
Poisons
And
Mistakes

Today I gave up
You
 Mar 2013 whispertotheair
Wolfey
Fresh red scars lay upon the right side of my stomach.
They weren't too large.
Weren't too deep.
12 lines that  weren't perfectly horizontal.
They let me feel.
Feel the feeling of something else than nothing.

Sore.

I cring as I place my purple tank top on.
Covering the crime that I commit more than once.
During the day I don't even remember them.
Until I place a binder against them.
They scream in pain, I wince just slightly.
Then soon welcoming the pain, yet its comfortable.

Relief.

Even though its not the right way to handle things.
Can you blame me for still wanting to feel?
My life has been a struggle for my entire life.
At first, I thought there was no other way to handle the pain.
Thought I just had to deal and let myself suffer.
But then an idea clicked in my messed up mind.

Razor.

The first time it met my skin, I was nervous.
Scared to see the blood rush down my arm and drip .
It hurt at first, my teeth clenched.
But soon the numb came.
And that's when I knew.
I had made a

Friend.
Honey, you're looking for
perfection
where there isn't any
In the depths of my eyes
There's only sadness
In lines of my forehead
Theres only confustion
In the shape of my lips
Theres only longing
Imperfect things brought together
To create this imperfect girl
Theres a war going on in my mind
A battle of blood and anger
Constently forcing one side down

Theres a war in my mind
But you'll never know
Too busy with your own life

Theres a war in my mind
and I don't think it'll ever end
Too many thoughts like soldiers
But they never stop coming
A constant stream of
Rifles
And men
Ready for a fight

Theres a war in my mind
And the battle field is busy
men falling left, right and centre

Maybe one day this could be a historic site
But for now
Its a war in my mind
One cold morning While I walked down a road,
My head hanging sad, thinking I was alone.
I found an old man who sat on the side,
He shouted at me "Come, boy, let me give you a ride!"

I looked at him odd, shout "You foolish old man!
You have no car, are you barking mad?"
He laughed right back, replied "I may be a fool!
But because I know that, I'm wiser than you!"

I turned to confusion, and nearby took a seat.
Wondering what a man I happened to meet.
"How can you be wise, yet know you're a fool?"
"Because I've already learned from the same mistake as you.

You left with your head high, walking all alone,
yet never did you figure out where you were to go.
I made the same mistake when I was young.
I wish it was a song unsung.

I was confused, I knew not what I wanted.
I was making mistakes, for my heart was haunted.
With indecision, it'd shake and shiver.
And would always change the decisions delivered.

I made great mistakes, I payed for these crimes
I made the excuse, I was going through tough times.
It's just a rough patch, I'll change when things look up,
but they never would until I would grow up.

As I speak to you, I ask you don't ruin your life.
Stay away from a drug, delivered by a knife."
My heart just stopped, how could he know?
I always wore a shirt so the marks would not show.

He leaned in close, and whispered in my ear.
"No matter where you go, I will be near.
Things will get better when your ready to change
when you give up pain, and surrender your rage.

There are better ways to get a rush,
like winning a race, and falling in love.
just walk with a smile, know an angel's out there.
with her beautiful face, you'll find her somewhere.

Know you can get a job, and you can be happy.
I swear it is true, you can trust me.
you can be a success, you can be a star
you can be whatever you want, whoever you are.

But now I must leave, it's time for my depart.
Remember me always, there in your heart."

I fell to my knees, "I'm sorry for my sins!"
He looked down to me, and asked "What sins?"
I told him everything, of the knife against skin
I told him how I was in love with adrenaline.

He looked down to me, and gave me a laugh.
"That is not love, for love will always last.
No love is a sin, what you have is lust.
But breaking these urges will be a must.

I know who you are, and I know how you feel,
you think this will be forever, but your fate is not sealed.
You have reached your destination, I gave you a ride.
I'll allow you calling me a fool, this once to slide.

Promise me one thing, you will change your life.
So I will not live, addicted to the knife."
I felt tears down my face, I woke in a cold sweat.
I finally understood the man I had met.

I was so very happy, I nearly cried.
I knew that some day, I could stand with pride.
I had finally found, what I needed was help.
For the man that I met, was my inner self.

I talked with a stranger, and we spoke for so long
I learned everything, and my depression was gone.
I walked hundreds of miles, alone with my thoughts.
And I saved myself, from all of my doubts.

And now I go to sleep, curled up in bed.
I see my sharpest knife, no longer a threat
I smile to myself, knowing where I must go.
and knowing I'll never, again be alone.
Us
Music is my passion
And so are you
I play the guitar
You play the piano
So I had this crazy idea of becoming a crew

Let's do this for fun
Not for fame
Since we will be together
Whether we get happy
Or we both are to blame
Our passion for love and music
Will always stay the same
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