There is something I need to say.
I always wonder when if today is the day.
I tell myself it will be.
By the end I just decided to flee.

I don't know if it's because I'm scared,
Maybe I'm not prepared.
I shouldn't worry.
But I just leave in a hurry.

All I ever end up doing is running away.
I hate that it ends that way.
It's just the waste of space in my head.
It prevents me from going to bed.

I don't know if you know it or not,
But you're the reason I am and you're all I've got.
It creates madness inside of my brain.
You've seen me go insane.

Fighting off all that pain is hard and it comes back.
You've made me strong and have kept me on track.
You don't know what I need to say.
I can't lose you during my fray.

You've done more for me than I could ever repay.
I'll be leaving soon and going away.
You know I'm scared and I need you.
So when I'm gone what could I do?

You need to know something critical.
I've been here a while and have become cynical.
I may seem a lot different than a year ago.
I know I am but I still have a long way to go.

You'll help me through most of my fights.
The rest I'll keep inside and worry at night.
These things creep up on me and make me fret.
Not telling you is something I'll always regret.

You're the best person in this giant universe.
And I know that sometimes I'm just like a curse.
My words usually end up just fumbling out of me.
But you still listen to my plea.

I know I am not so pleasant.
Even still you treat me like a present.
I often look from the outside and wait.
I wait too long and now it's too late.

You have never once broken any promises.
Some people make promises that are hits and misses.
You just promise as I used to weep.
And you still have one to keep.

I've been thinking about that promise.
Something that could have been a great bliss.
I haven't called it quits.
I'll easily remember it.

It was two years ago when I really needed you.
Now you haven't got a clue.
I think I'll keep it inside.
I'll just wait for you to confide.

You've been the best.
A better person would be long lest.
You have no idea how much I love you.
I don't think you have a clue.

How can you be afraid of the dark,
My love...
When you're the only light
I've ever seen?

A small child
Only 6 or so,
Runs inside from a long day's play.
So young and full of energy.
Shouldn't have a care in the world,
Except for the specks of mud on the floor,
Left by his own foot.
His father, a large and logical man,
Raised the boy right;
Manners and all in tact.
Yet when he walks into the kitchen,
While the boy is at the kitchen sink, washing his little hands,
He sees the mud.
And the boy sees him,
Smiles up at him with his missing-tooth smile,
But the dad doesn't see;
He only sees mud.
He storms over in two strides,
Grabs the boy by the collar and drags him to the spot on the floor.
The boys heart is racing,
A mile a minute.
Never seen his father so terrifying,
So horrifying;
Until a moment later.
As his grip released him, he fell to the floor.
He wasn't hurt then,
But he would be,
As his father's fists raised and fell upon his small body.
Impossible not to feel the bruises already beginning to form below his immature skin.
"Stop it! Why would you do that?" My mind screams at the man not worthy of being even called a father,
and for the boy as he crawls away into the next room and collapses at the foot of the stairs in tears.
"How could you do that to him?! He doesn't understand! He's just a little kid! He doesn't understand.."
My heart and mind scream together,
lined with hatred, through sobs of tears.
And then I see his future:
Self hatred.
Yeah he'll go far in school, he's a smart kid, but his emotional damage is irreversible.
Quiet because he forgot how to talk,
Never smiling because he knows what people are capable of.
He sees the world in a negative light, but it's his reality.
No trust, no love,
Just alone with his thoughts.
And that's when he's finally safe.