my bones are my of glass
    and
        i watched you sink last night
            and
                his mouth says he sleeps but his eyes say he lies
                    and
                   i
              am
        tired
    like
him.

I couldn't look at him cause
Of the thoughts running through
My mind of how I
Just want to get on top of him and
Make out with him so fiercely and
To just unbutton his shirt and
Unzip his pants and
Never get my math
Work done because
We're to busy
On his
Desk.

You know the rags and riches
I went the other way around
I thought that I could handle it
I wouldn't make a sound.
And I thought that it'd be okay
If you loved me more and more
But I wasn't good enough
And I guess I was a bore.
But today was her birthday
The first time she wasn't here
You couldn't have picked it worse
To tell me, 'Just move on now, dear'.
So when you told me, I sat and thought
I've lost everyone so close
That I ***** up everything
I'm not fine, nobody knows.
I was eating dinner with my mom right next to me
Said 'I'm not feeling right'
"Oh, you'll be fine honey."
sigh Nah, this'll be a long night.
I crawled up in my bunk
To sit, lay down and cry
Repeated bad mantras
About how bad I want to die.
"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry,"
Oh, I said it a million times
I'm sick of all this now,
Just hoping I'll be fine.
Trudge into the shower
To wash sorrows away
Play some music loud
Maybe forget about the day.
"Things are getting weird, things are getting tough
Nothing's making sense but you keep on looking up
They tell you to be true, you're trying every day
You keep it on the real, still you gotta find a way.
To make your mama happy, to make your papa proud
You gotta turn it up but all you hear is turn it down.

Sometimes I wanna cry and throw the towel in
They try to beat me down but I'll take it on the chin
And everywhere I go the people are the same
They just wanna know that everything will be OK.
Things are getting rough, turn it back around
You gotta turn it up when they tell you tone it down."*
With this song on repeat
I work it up to say
To tell you I'll be done
And that this is the final day.
I have a few kind words
After one long horrid time
I mean the kindest way
*******, and in the worst kind.

I sent him an email 2 months ago asking if he's travelling to America AND that I am wondering if it's true.
before 3 days I got an reply saying:Great to hear from you! I'm just fine. I hope you had a great summer!
I'm still here and will see you very soon at school.
How Cute Is That
He asked hows my grades
then
Take Care of Yourself!

So you want to know
Why I don't trust
Anyone
Anyone
Completely
Simple theory:
It's like an acid burn
It leaves a permanent
Ugly
Deformed
Mark

Four years ago,
I saw a future
Full of fun
And laughter

There was this girl
We hit off right away
Best friends forever,
Maybe even 
Sisters

I told her 
Everything
I told her
Anything
I trusted her
Completely
We even kept
A little book
And made little
Friendship keys

So sure
She was the one
Until they came
Along

They made me feel
So at home
They made me feel
I belonged
Not sure when
It started
But there were 
Hateful stares
Annoyed faces
Change in attitude
And then the one
I thought would
Stay
Forever,
She turned
Too

She spilled
Everything
Every
Single
Thing
And turned
And twisted
And moulded
Them into things
that were
Untrue
Spreading them
All around
Turning most
Everyone
A whole class,
(The girls at least,
The boys naturally stayed away)

Humiliated,
Taunted,
Laughed at,
I was turned
Into a joke
A nerd
A complete
Idiot
With the nearest friend
In the next class,
I spent my time
Alone

That day I went back
I cried for an hour
Sitting in a pool
Of ice-cold water
Tears pouring down my face
Wondering
What on earth
Did I do 
Wrong
And that was where
Everything
Changed

That day,
I built my armor.

That day,
I sharpened my weapons.

That day,
My heart died.

That day,
I promised myself
For these things,
I would no longer cry 

That day,
I turned hard and cold.

That day, 
The term
"Best friend"
Lost its meaning
Removed
From my dictionary 

Along with it
Went 
"Trust"

Till now,
I still don't trust
Completely
It can be partially,
Mostly,
Or not at all
You can come close,
Very close.
But the inner most layer,
Is one no one can
Touch

I'm sorry
If I 
Violated
Anyone's trust
Or if
I've hurt you
But this is me.
This is one of 
The Principles
I live by.

I'll miss the old ones
Dearly
With their
Heavy
Plastic frames
Cheetah spots
And dark
Tortoiseshell
Rims

They would hide
Things
Shield things
And maybe
Protect

The new ones?
Well..
They're brighter
But sadder,
They show more
They hide less
Lighter
And clearer
The only weight
Resting upon
Two points
On the nose bridge
Instead of weighing down
On my face

A new image
A new character