There's nothing left but letters,
a shoe box full of letters
with the cap on tight

not to smother, but preserving
as if you can resurrect
a cake that's been dropped.

When the little girl inside your head
is a better man than you

That is when you know
that it's definitely
not the time to quit!

I want to believe that you went home,
And thought about me.
And us,
And all of the places we go could,
Songs we could listen to,
And long late night drives that wouldn't be so lonely.

But realistically,
You probably banged some other ******* your couch,
Not even remembering my name,
While I dreamt beautiful things about you.

Everything (physically) erased, nothing ever forgotten. Every word spoken or written is engrained in my brain, I will never be the same. Unlike no other you came you conquered you (changed). Seven existential hours that would change my DNA and internal making, making, making what I knew up until then surprisingly malleable. Your words your actions your face your voice filled up every millimeter of me that everything else inside was pushed to the brim and seeped out of my pores. Everything I once was became everything you ever were, ever are. There is a chair in the back of my mind that is reserved for you to sit there and continue to hotwire (my mind) and thoughts into something much better than I ever could have fathomed. Your puppet strings control what and who I am and it is impossible to think there is any other living organism that could possess that undeniable ability. There is a keyhole somewhere inside myself. There is a key inside of you. Keyholes the size of pinholes as vast as Sirius. Small, believable, existing. Keys the shape of orchids and birch as natural as the metamorphosis of roots (into) trees. I never knew what (my) purpose was until you. Or maybe I always knew what I was before you and you opened the windows to the (soul) otherwise known as brown eyes so timid to everyone besides you. The smallest organs became so (full of) nothing but visions of you. There is a special place in my slowly beating heart perfectly executed to fit all of you. A twin bed that only holds one girl has an infinite amount of room for whatever (love) you could continue to bring into my life. The impossibility to (for)get and erase has left me with an endless amount of hope to see you again. The possibility of knowing that you are still somewhere out there and I am still somewhere down here, although unsure where. I cannot ascertain whether or not feelings are reciprocated but I know I know they are. I know you know where you are. I know you know I do not know where I am but you could figure it all out for me. You had it all figured out for me. Plans stretched farther than the 3000 miles separating my red string from yours. Our strings are still connected. There is nothing in the world that can cut them no matter the distance no matter the people no matter the time no matter the place. I know and somehow you know fate will bring our two oceans together. One calm ocean full of creatures so logical and tides so serene they make a beautifully flawed human being known as yourself. One ocean plagued by waves and uncertainty as to what is below the surface that makes up a human being, me. Both oceans surround land full of love. Our continents will merge. Our love will emerge. (You, only you.)

Just want to freak out

and cry

and then laugh

and drown myself in my bath tub for a few minutes.

Open my eyes

and laugh.

Be okay.

Realize what this world has to offer,

and then

forever hold my peace.

If I could write a poem about you I
would make all the verses rhyme.
I would always make you and I so
close we were almost
One
We have been too far too long

If I could write a tune about you
I would sing it
I couldn’t do it justice but it would be
a beautiful ballad
About the way you’re beautiful when
you dance with the sun

If I could, I would write that
you and I were stars
to bring everyone that beautiful
spark
in such dark
like you once gave me

But, alas, I am not a poet
And my words are as empty as the wind
But remember I would write so far, so long
Just to return to you all the joy
You once gave to me
In being my home.

It’s this feeling I wait for: Perfection, Serenity.
Every hour before now has no meaning to me
An artificially sweetened, chemical world
In a few moments breaths all begins to swirl.
A whirl of mankind, a homogenous shape
In an exact world, but in an altered state.
As all that’s good and green goes up in gray smoke
Everyone is magic and everything emotes.
I can still identify, but in a different mind.
This perfect serenity…I want it all the time.