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 Oct 2013 reyna
TJW
The Huntsman
 Oct 2013 reyna
TJW
“The Huntsman”

“There are plenty of fish in the sea”.
What they don’t know about me...

Is that I’m not a Fisherman.
But instead I’m a Hunstman…
Following the trial of the White Doe,
I have a wish, and she has the power.
Many years now I pursue her.
This doe is one of a kind…
She’s keen and clever.
Her tracks are hard enough to find.
With ease, she evades my traps.
Each AND every one on the map.

She never leaves my mind,
yet she’s always out of sight.
Craving to touch her pelt:
a desire beyond any I've ever felt.

Then like Divine Intervention
I’m swept with rejuvenation
On a cold winter night.
She’s at my campsite.
Pulling the rifle to my shoulder,
The barrel aims for her eyes.
She shivers like silver flags
under the moon light .

Hesitant, the rifle was lowered, I turn back.
Realizing if I were to pull the trigger,
it would mean the end of the journey.

Negligent, I didn’t notice the White Stag.
He impaled me, through my lung with his antler.
My blood freezes onto snow covered lilies.

Once I fell to my knees…
I remembered my wish.
I turn my head for one last glance.
I crawl to the rifle for a second chance.
I then whisper to her,
“I want to be with you forever.
That is my wish.”

TJW 2013
 Oct 2013 reyna
Mike Van Dyke
Tense
 Oct 2013 reyna
Mike Van Dyke
Was.
Not is.
Unknown will be.
All I can be:
Friend?
 Oct 2013 reyna
Mags
so now you sit there and pretend to be alright
though you know you can't make it through another night.

but you don't talk about it, even with your closest friends
(do they exist?)
because you know already, it would just sound strange.

you wouldn't know how to describe that "it"
a feeling? a word? or just a trick?

the truth is, you don't know how to begin.
it's just that you kind of... don't fit in.

you hang out with the normal group of friends
but feel left out. why pretend?

does he like me?
does she make fun of me behind her back?

am i different in any way?
should i change, am i... okay?

saying it, writing it down, it sounds silly

it doesn't even rhyme, does it?
does it matter? does it?

does anything?
 Oct 2013 reyna
Ryan Michał
It was not pretty, or that is what some would say,
but these four walls pandered to those who find beauty
in what is imperfect.
While it did not have a fountain,
granite and grand,
it had a well, with history and many seasons to speak of.
One would not make a grand entrance walking into this house,
pushing aside heavy double doors with windows and precision paint.
Your entry would be humble, knocking on the aging red wood,
and the house would make you feel warm and at home.
The inside was country; couldn't be called anything else, nor would it
choose to be, because this house could never be anything else.
The stairs may have creaked, the cabinets didn't shut perfectly,
and on a rainy night there may have been a leak or two,
but this house never tried to be anything it wasn't.
It was what it was,
and that was something special.
And on a warm summer afternoon, with a cold drink in hand,
the house would honor us, and provide us with a front row seat
to the beauty of God's great work.

I returned to the house many years later to find that it was no longer there.
Just an empty clearing in the trees.
But without hesitation, I grabbed a folding chair out of my car,
a cold drink, and set up where the deck once stood,
looking out at the same view I had so many times before.
I felt energy behind me.
So many people breathed life into that house,
with all the laughs, cries, and years growing up or growing old.
I knew then that a house is more than four walls and a roof.
Much like a person, when we pass on, and move from our bodies,
we continue to live in the minds and hearts of those we left behind,
and just the energy alone that we spent at any given time or place,
it never dies.
I lifted my cold drink, looked to the sky, and made a toast,
celebrating everlasting life.
 Oct 2013 reyna
Amanda Fawcett
You asked me how I am doing
and I said “Good”
You asked me to be honest
and I said “I’m fine”
You told me to expand.
I replied,
"I'm not good at all.
And I want that to be simple enough.
I'm not being exaggerative
or selfish
or birthing drama for drama's sake.
It's just that I am here.
Here on silly earth,
And I feel alone at crossroads in my life.
I am under no illusion
of my incredibly blessed
or undeserving existence.
But that's just the problem.
LIFE is starting now.
And for the first time,
I have had to make choices
choices on my own
choices
that
(according to mother)
will shape who I fundamentally
become as a human.
So that's a bit distracting.
‘You need to remember not to let people down.’
‘You should consider how you love someone, not just when to.’
‘You ought to be more assertive or it'll all come crashing down.’
She reminds me of my
uncontrollable imperfection
on a daily basis
Not necessarily through her words
I doubt she wants to inflict this on me.
But the way way she stares at me sometimes
from across the room.
Silently.
Like she’s trying to admire a painting
that secretly
no one quite appreciates
or understands
but everyone seems to find profound meaning in it
so you go along
with the show.
Which I wouldn't have a problem with
if I could wake up refreshed in the
morning.
And not tired
like I am.
All the time.
I’m tired of being fifteen.
Because inside,
I don’t feel fifteen.
My mind turns on fifty year old gears
churning up one hundred year old
philosophies.
But
The age in which I currently must suffer through
is misunderstood
and incorrectly represented.
Teenager is a word parents
shudder to hear.
A word elders instantly accuse.
A word authorities doubt without reasonable basis.
The drum pumping my soul
is in fact a solo ensemble.
But
I am naturally clumped in with the lot
of marching bands
that clash and crash,
stomp and slam their drums
as they parade the flag
of fickle rebellion
into the air they barely know.
Don’t get me wrong,
the stereotypes of my age and time
are drawn up
from some truth,
but one truth shouldn’t result
in one outlook.
You don’t roll dice with
only threes on the faces
or only ones.
So it is hard to watch as
everywhere I go,
titles and labels
are being stuck into me
like toothpicks in a fruit salad.
And first of all,
just because society cuts me up
and breaks me down like a pineapple
you can buy with leftover quarters
doesn’t mean that I’m up for grabs.
And secondly,
No one should be branded
simply because
it is easier to ignore them
than to know them.
Don’t hear this as a “oh she’s a teenage girl” moment
hear this as a “she’s a human and wants to be heard without your filter over her words” moment
So, I’m having a hard time with that.
Not to mention the rest.”

“The rest?” You asked.

“You know,”
I said,
“How I have to decide what school
I am going to commit to
which is slightly like choosing
between your two parents.
You can’t pick one happily
and freely
without knowing what could’ve been
if you lived with dad instead.
It’s tricky to wake up in the morning.
It’s tricky to get out of bed
because I know that sooner than later
I will either be moving
that bed into the basement
or into a dorm
which won’t be on the campus I really desire
because God knows I didn’t
save enough pennies for that.
My whole future is before me.
Almost literally
considering the number of pamphlets stapled
over the dreams I carved so meticulously
out of my ‘mind wood’
with my ‘What do you want to be when you grow up’ knife.
So that’s intimidating.
And all those “it’ll work itself out” speeches
that surround me
don’t make the choices
suddenly blare across the radio
or start blinking from neon signs
telling me what to do
what to chose
what to be.
In the end,
all those “don’t worry about it”
and “you’ll figure it out”
do nothing but put a knot in my gut
that no amount of research
or interviews
or Friday night pig outs
can untie.
Because this stuff,
these moments as I build my foundation
for my single LIFE with little slippery Lego blocks
are not made with cheery hand-outs
or inspiring quotes.
LIFE is formed by me
choosing which Lego brick color
choosing which Lego brick shape
and of course
choosing which people will
help me to construct it.
It’s tricky
It’s messy
It’s loud
and it makes other things
hard to focus on.”

“Other things?”
You said.

“Other things.”
I reply.
“You know,
those books I have to read
those graphs I have to draw
those tests I have to study for
those miles I have to run
those words I have to memorize
those labs I have to finish
those annotations I have to complete
those poems I have to parse.
Just THOSE.
Don’t get me wrong.
I don’t mind school
Unlike the kids who complain
that they are forced to educate themselves.
I have no problem learning.
In fact, I want to
long to.
TEACH ME, WORLD!
TEACH ME HOW TO UNDERSTAND YOU IN EVERY LANGUAGE I CAN!
It’s not the books
or the deadlines.
It’s the people.
Bleh.
The people.
The cowardly childish people
with their smug clothes
and horrendous attitudes
that you can smell just over
the stink of their pomp.
Truthfully,
I feel for them
because they don’t feel for themselves.
and because there is little way to prove to these kids
that they can be them
not doctored them
or decorated them
the “them” they thrive to be
not the “them” they try to be.
So I’m surrounded by people
icky people
whose glares and stares
and whispers like cold ghosts
leave me too feeling torn between
being myself
(whatever that even means)
and being accepted.
I want to be free
to try new things,
but new things are poison here at school
new things are demeaning
because they’re demanding.
So,
I have moments where I say
‘Be you. What does it matter?’
But then when I am alone
at the table
at the only open table
with the last chair
the one that squeaks if you
rock to the left
when I am
listening to the music no one knows
and reading the book no one chose
thinking about the movie even no theater shows
that’s when moments of guilt ridden
loneliness bring me to say
‘Put yourself away for now.
Put in a pin in it.
Come back to what you want
after you’re done being what
society thinks you need.’
Because
it is hard to be loved
by one sided people
it is hard to be loved
when the world wants you to say
what it wants to hear.
Us teenagers think we wear invincibility cloaks
So we never have to see those under the invisibility cloaks
‘Don’t question it!’
seems to be the motto of most I meet here.
Because who wants to learn,
who wants to try
if it makes them question their comfort?
And of course that all just touches the surface
of that other thing.
The thing I don’t want to really talk about.”

You pushed me to tell you.

So I did.
“I’m afraid
of God.
I’m afraid
of Death.
I can’t go off of blind faith
like I did when I was young.
I can’t accept ‘Jesus loves you
this I know’
because this I don’t know.
And no one
Not my parent
Not my mentor
Not even my Bible
can give me enough hope in this regard
to bring me to accept not knowing.
This amount of stress is me
Sits as a damp frog
Pestering me to choose
Croaking up unformed opinions
in the form of tar
that I get trapped in.
How can I believe in something
How can I devote my life to something
How can I pray to someone
that I am not even convinced has cared
for a thousand years?
I want to think God knows my name
that he is above me as
those shiny, divine painting portray.
But they’re lies.
And people expect me to believe
that he is smiling down on me like
a new daddy over a crib.
He isn’t a father to me.
So, I feel lost
and confused
and scared that I’m wrong
and even more terrified that I am right.
I’m scared of
God.
And I’m scared
to die.
I don’t quite think I even know
how to live yet.”

“Oh,”
You said.

“Yeah,”
I whispered.
“I know.”

We both paused.
Remember?
My arms rested
at my sides.
Heavy.
Yours swung across
your chest.
Nervous.

“So you’re doing great then?”
You managed to slide through a smile.
“That’s good to hear.”
 Oct 2013 reyna
Coyote Siren
Bird.
 Oct 2013 reyna
Coyote Siren
“It’s like we’re looking at a grave.”
“We should bury something that was once alive.”

“You want to **** a bird?”
“On this medication, yes.”
 Oct 2013 reyna
Meredith
Cigarettes
 Oct 2013 reyna
Meredith
we  become our cigarettes
filter through them
morphing into transparent  beings like the
smoke that rises from our lips
we inhale the toxins to feel alive
we trip over our own breath
our thoughts become flammable lucid dreams
that lick at the edges of our palpable pain
we burn the filter to filter our thoughts from reality and
we give up the fire from our eyes and our souls to
light the glorified matchsticks that **** us in the end
 Oct 2013 reyna
Allison Owens
Dust and Light.
No guess,
Is it Dawn or Dusk?
Here, nestled in our own world,
Wrapped together,
Let's pretend,
It lasts forever.
©2006-2010 Allison Owens
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