She moved away when I turned 9.
She's the best drummer I've ever met.
He used to sing Ocean Avenue when we walked to class.
He said that no one could keep secrets quite like me.
He told me to learn how to say no.

It didn't seem as important as it does now.


She was half my height but had twice the heart.
She was the nicest friend I ever had.
He'd wake up at four in the morning to go running.
He read a lot of books and never spoke to me.  
He wasn't quite the fastest swimmer on the team.

I wasn't quite the slowest.

She likes shelves and the color red.
She hates sloths.
He is the fastest swimmer I knew, but I'd never seen him swim.
He told me that he liked my haircut when I hadn't cut my hair.
He told me I owed him four years.

I don't owe them anything.

i go outside so i can look at the snow

i want to watch the little white flakes come down

land on my eyelashes

put some color in my cheeks

but it doesn’t snow where i live

i go outside and the sky is clear

the moon shines bright

like it is mocking me

so i go back inside

and turn up the music

because there are worse things to be than

snowless

Sometimes
I want to reach out
And hold you
But
I am too scared
To touch you
Because
Our tenuous relationship
Is like spun sugar:
Delicate
Messy
And too much
Makes my head hurt

i really would like to stop

feeling for you

to stop feeling love

for you

to stop feeling hate

towards you

to stop feeling angry

at you

to stop feeling nervous

around you

you don’t make any sense

and frankly,

i’m exhausted

i don’t want you

and logically

i understand this

but i look at you and feel

sick to my stomach

and these “butterflies”

are no longer new

the novelty has worn off

is there a vaccine i can take for my heart

is there an antibiotic i can use?

because i just want to stop caring about you.

to be fair,

i like being friends with you

you’re a nice person

but it’s so hard to function

when every time you don’t respond

is like a knife to the heart

and every girl who isn’t me

is like stab in the back.

it just makes me so

annoyed

and the wounds

have become more like

mosquito bites

and i

just

want it

to

stop.

you called me
not to say hello
not to wish me a good day
nothing like that

you called
because you had a favor to ask
but I didn’t mind
I said I’d do it
but you didn’t say goodbye
we sat in the silence on the phone





till I said “okay”
only then did you hang up

the silence wasn’t even
five seconds
but it felt like a forever

i only said "okay"
to break the silence
but it felt like a confession

one two faces blue
frozen by the ice and split in two
three four open door
tripped by the threshold, dead on the the floor
five six wall of bricks
trapped by corners and out of tricks
seven eight falling straight
off the edge of cliff while tempting fate
nine ten noisy men
at the bottom of the ocean, silent again.

It’s the last minute of my entire life

And I could spend it on you

60 seconds of your smiling face

Of your infectious laughter

The last moment of my entire existence

And I could give it to you

Let you fill my thoughts

As I quietly drift away

The last second of my time on earth

And I could think of you

Of your beautiful murmurs

And your comforting shoulder

I have one thought left before I have to go

And I could think of you,

But I don’t.

I give the time

To the blue of the sky

The clean smell of the rain

And the feeling of freshly washed sheets

I think of biking downhill

With a bag full of new books

Stories in the pages waiting for me to look

Wind blowing in my hair

I remember freshly baked bread

On the vine ripened tomatoes

Home made chocolate chip cookies

Quite nearly almost burnt toast

But I let you grab my hand anyway

As my eyes close for the last time