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 Jun 2013 Vivienne Luong
AJ
Once upon a time there was a girl.
In the summer she'd hold her breath underwater in the three foot pool. 47 seconds.
In the fall she'd look at the trees from the car window and wonder why she didn't change color with them.
In the winter her boots would get stuck in the snow just like the cat and she'd laugh.
In the spring she'd make potions with leaves, seeds, and sandbox rain water.

Once upon a time the girl was a little bit older.
In the summer the pool would be too small, she'd be too tall.
In the fall she'd become enthralled with girls and wouldn't think of the leaves again.
In the winter she'd realize not all children were hit and hated at home.
In the spring she'd fill herself with alcoholic potions the leaves and rain water couldn't touch.

Once upon a time the girl aged even more.
In the summer she'd throw her last scrap of childhood to the big bad wolf. He gave her a token.
In the fall she'd change like the leaves, but then the magic would leave. She'd lose the token.
In the winter she'd fall in the gravel infested snow. She wouldn't laugh.
In the spring she'd try to end it all with a potion of sleep and cool metal. It wouldn't work.

Once upon a time it was right about now.
I'm changing like the leaves, stuck in the snow, taking too many "potions". The whole time I've been holding my breath. 571,501,629 seconds.
It was supposed to be fun
It was meant to be enjoyable
We were supposed to like this

Messing around is supposed to be fun

It wasn't supposed to hurt
It shouldn't make my hips hurt so much
I shouldn't be writhing in pain
I shouldn't shove you off of me because I am in so much pain

And when I tell you I can't feel my knees,
Can't feel my legs
Can't feel my hips
You are supposed to hold me
To say sorry
To care.

Not retreat back to your computer
Waiting for me to compose myself .
Waiting for my body to recover
Underneath cold, lonely sheets
I can feel each layer of skin clinging to my body

This all was supposed to be fun.
Why is this only fun for you?
Why can't it be fun for me, too?
If we make it through tonight
we have made it through the war.
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