Restless
This body and the mind
Running away
With these thoughts of mine

Craving the dark
To find that peace
No one can offer but God

But where is He to find
When we wonder off alone to the dark

Why would he allow this evil
The pain some have to carry around

Why would He give us choices
Knowing we won't make the right one
And just regret it in the morning

Why would he allow
For the precious ones to be taken away so early..

I don't care if He wants His Angels...
What about us left behind??

He will not give us more than we can handle??
But why bring so much sorrow to our lives??

Staring down on all of us
Seeing the pain we endure daily
How much more should we deal with
Before we are left in pieces
 
Why break us apart
Leave us with broken hearts
Is this our awesome God???

Don't blame me for my questions
Unless you have walked my path

He has forsaken us
Truth be told out loud

But our silence is forever golden ...

He looks up to me
Like I am the best
Nothing I can ever do
Will make him love me any less

The beauty of a child's innocence
Seeing only good
Not yet scorned by this world

Loving unconditionally
Both big and small
Caring for all
Never want to take him out into this world

Wishing his beautiful little heart
Will always remain the same
Never get hurt
Never turn cold

He looks up to me
Seeing  only my best
When will he realize
All the **** in my head

Praying his eyes will never change
Seeing only the good
Seeing me forever the way he does now

I have so many flaws
Make so many mistakes
I do try my best
But will always fail

Hoping he will never hear
Any wrongs in my past
He will always hear my words
Of this unconditional LOVE

May he never cease to touch me lovingly the way he does
His little hands never pull away

May he grow up
To be who I believe he is
And never doubts that I only tried my best
Giving him a life filled with everything I never felt

May he feel loved deeply
Feel happiness from within
Feel the sense of fulfilment
Which I never received

My only wish in life
Is that my son
When he is grown up
To know the love I had for him
And with all my flaws, faults, mistakes
That he is the reason I have grown
My motivation to be better today than yesterday...

We get blessed with these precious gifts
Our kids
While we are still kids ourselves
Not having our **** together
Not been raised to grow up at all
Adults not even knowing the difference between rights and wrongs
Living life just coping
Barely surviving

How are we suppose to raise them
Without them breaking
******* up the one thing
That should be most important
For them not to feel the way we did growing up
Not to make the same mistakes our parents did

How are we suppose to school them
If we got tought the wrong way
Our childhood left us in pieces
How do I pick up the pieces
Whilst having all this responsibility
Still trying to find ourselves
And not **** up what we got blessed with
Always doing our best
Yet it never feels enough
Always failing
Not being able to give them the lives they deserve
Which we never had
What we still strive for...

We should raise them
I guess..
To be everything you will never be..

It's not you
It's me
I carry a broken soul around

Doing everything I possibly can
To fill the empty holes Inside

Give me what you got
I will take it all
Just to fill the empty cracks

This beating heart of mine
Weighs in heavy and hard
As it carries all these burdens
No one sees outside

Wear that mask
Make them proud
Die a little more inside..

Have to get up for work
In only an hour and a half
Put on my fake *** smile
Wear that mask
Everybody loves

Behind here its so dark
Sight is almost blinded
No one can see the tears in my eyes
Or notice that I'm dying inside

Get up let's go
Don't  forget your happy face
No one likes the ugly...

Darkness
Emptiness
Loneliness

Faithless

Sorrow
Pain
Grief
Loss

Love

These are the things that changes who you are...

Once you realize your own flaws
No one can use them against you
That is not true

You are your own worst enemy
Once those flaws are made visible
When they become clear to you
That is when you fall

Opening your eyes
To what have been
And what may come
Is the biggest mistake of all

You start living in fear
Not to indulge in the pleasurable sins
You become to scared to actually live

We are all human
And no body ain't perfect
Mistakes let you learn
They make you grow

Do not let the past be held against you
It is that what shaped you...