sometimes i think i should have been
mist so i could rest gently against
your skin, but i'm a tidal wave
and you don't want to be pulled in

the way the moon hits the water
which is a lot like how these
feelings keep hitting me, slowly
they come and slowly they go

the ocean parts us to where
we are on different continents,
but we are two hearts as one
forced apart by harsh waters
and the thoughts that we stay
up way to late thinking about

like last night with my feet
dangling off the dock above
the pond,  the goosebumps on
my skin where your warmth
should be, it was then i realized
how gone you really were

laying out under the stars
where the crickets play their
symphonic sounds, i thought
i saw you so i blinked and then
pinched myself, convinced it
must have been a silly little dream

that dock by the pond is
now where we sit with our feet
dangling above the water
and when the goosebumps come
back, you are there to warm me

you came back to me

(a.f)

here's the thing:
I know I am needy and jealous,
and my skin is only pretty in the summer,
and my hair frizzes more often than not,
and my nose is too big for conventional beauty

I know that I talk funny a lot,
and my body is disproportionate
(just like my music taste),
and I never really know what I'm talking about,
and my hands are always cold and clammy

I know that I apologize too much (sorry),
and that I usually make a big deal out of nothing,
and that I usually look angry,
even when I'm happy

I know that my exuberance is hard to handle,
and that I am easy to disappoint
and easy to be disappointed in,
and that I lose motivation too quickly,
and that my smile is too often late and clumsy

I know all these things aren't so great,
(and I know of many more),
but I know that
I am caring and loyal
and my skin gets tan
and warm and filled with sunlight
and my eyelashes are long and full
and when I smile for real,
it is sincere and warm and genuine

I know that I hold myself to higher standards,
and that I get very passionate about little things,
and that I read a lot more than most

I know that I am compassionate and considerate,
and find happiness in the smallest details

And I know that I am hardworking
(when I need to be),
but I also know how to relax,
and I can handle my own burdens
(as well as some of yours)

so between the pros and cons,
I hope someone will someday
find it in their heart
to fall in love with me
as I have done with you

i don't know how else
to describe
the feeling
when i permit my thoughts
to dwell on you

you are an
utter mystery and terror
rampaging
through my mind

how much
is written on my face?
in my voice?
i fear the extent
of my foolishness
has yet to be revealed

and i feel like
i could follow you
  up a mountain
without uttering a word of distress
   though my body
be racked with exhaustion
   and terror of failure
       loomed great above me
who would complain
to be in step
with a creature like you?

i don't know
what this is
i'm afraid i know
what this is
and i cannot tell
if my feet are firm upon the ground

all i know
is perpetual summer
in your arms

Always I am
waiting
waiting
waiting
for the right time
to tell you all the
words I have stored
behind my teeth
and in the pockets
of all my sweaters.
It's just that I'm so
sure the sun speaks
out of your mouth,
that you will be the
only person who will
swallow my sentences
immediately after I've
said them so they
don't have time to
float away into
outer space where
Pluto and all of my
other lost loves are
orbiting. My
greatest fear is that
you'll stop holding
me like my hands
are made of the
Milky Way and
instead like the
love I'm capable of
giving you is simply
measured with the
spoon I use to stir
my peppermint tea.
I have stumbled
tripped
tumbled
into the atmosphere
of your smile, been
dragged under by the
waves of your breath
on my neck in the
earliest hours of
the morning. I ask
only that you keep
loving my arms that
aren't strong, keep
watching me like I
taught the sky how
to make rain
(because I'll never
stop watching you
that way.)

I have
m
     e
          l
                    t
                            e
                                 d
into the simple
idea of you
falling asleep
next to me
again someday.