I remember thinking that you were so different from what I had imagined a man like you would be
I pictured a man who would tell me that I was lovely
Or smart
Or beautiful
Or anything at all
I thought that you would want to make me feel something more than wanting
I thought that you would want to make me feel anything at all

I felt that I needed to constantly give you
A space to crash into
To fall apart
To feel safe
To be yourself
For you to think that I was worth anything at all

You were cold to me most days
Warm when you wanted something, but otherwise
It felt as though there was a wall between us
I felt like you were always just about to say something
Then decided against it at the last minute
Like I wasn’t worth the thought

But I found that it was even just your silence that I craved
And I craved most what you couldn’t give to me

Fully and honestly
I wanted you to want to know me
Or even just to pretend to want to know me
And you never did – want to know me

For a long time after, I hated you
I avoided saying your name or thinking about you
I pretended that what had happened wasn’t real
Or that my feelings were just blown out of proportion
Or that I didn’t exist

And then
One night
I reached
Across
My bed
For you
And you weren’t there
And I only hated that you weren’t there

I cried because I didn’t want to want you there
And I don’t want to need you
But every day I’m struggling to keep you out of mind
And I try so hard to keep on hating you
But I don’t, I don’t have the energy to hate you

Instead, now, I miss you
And instead, I hate myself for missing you

A man walked across the floor and stopped at the bar, pausing briefly to adjust his suit before speaking. It was hard to make out what he was saying over the loud music, but whatever he had said, it looked to have pleased the bartender. With her shoulders squared towards his frame, she flashed him her best smile. He leaned in closer and smiled back.
She began fixing a drink that looked rather complicated, but somehow it attested to his sophistication rather than his arrogance. The bartender finished the drink off with a maraschino cherry, which he promptly took between his lips, leaving only the stem out. He had a puzzled look on his face, as though he was trying to place the woman. He mumbled something else, and she laughed nervously in response.
At this, she exited the backside of the bar and walked towards him. He met her with his hand outstretched, and the two began to dance. They stood out from the other dancers at the bar because he was leading her in a traditional style of dance. She looked absolutely giddy.

The body was quickly covered by a black sheet, but Tommy had still seen it, and the image seemed to stick to his eyes like a melted Popsicle. He did not feel sad, or angry, or even curious – Tommy felt nothing at all except wonder at the fact that you could exist one moment, and not the next.
“Hey there,” said the tall man in blue. He wore a badge on his shirt that said ‘police’.
“Hi,” said Tommy, nervously looking up at the man. He felt as though he should not have been looking at the body, as though it were forbidden.
“What’s your name, son?”
“My name is Tommy and I live down the street,” he said, the words spilling out of his mouth. He felt that he needed to explain himself. “I was just riding my bike when...”
“Did you see what was under that tarp?” the man asked, pointing at the blanket. The body had since disappeared, but Tommy knew that the body had just been taken away so others wouldn’t see. Tommy didn’t respond, but the officer nodded.
“Do you want to see something cool?” said the policeman, and Tommy nodded once more.
The policeman walked over to his car and dipped inside, ducking his head under the ledge of the door frame. He looked at Tommy and smiled, clicked a few buttons, and then suddenly there were bright colours, not unlike the colours Tommy had seen at carnivals.

Say my name --
breath it like it is your last shallow, hollow breath --
rattling on your tongue like a snake --
Lost but still found, beautiful --
without plans but with purpose --
Treat it like the water you found in the desert --
like the sustenance you found when you were famished --
Treat me like you would die without me

The message on the TV screen tries vainly to be heard but our melting minds see nothing but snow. Would we know meaning if it hit us squarely?

Forgotten wine glasses lay
Scattered on expensive furniture
The candle light flickers across his
Evergreen face.  His hand travels across
The plains of her scratched skin worn
Deep with years of regret and return
Of faded memories. But, his face transforms
Into another, his tongue translates
And tastes like age and experience.
Stronger now, these hands cup
Her, like a glass filling. Still, these hands convert
To the soft touch of a woman, caressing, but
Still callous. Each hand holds another,
Each hand held. Faces melt into
Looks of desire, and the bodies
Soften into one. Four bodies, one form
Separate lives, all worn
We became one.