I will let go of me for you
No matter the cost
Your love seems to brighten the new me
Not reaching to the standard I have set
My heart is satisfied with your smile
Letting go of me is easy
Learning what you want me to be is hard

Giving up on myself
I walk on the shoes of this person
She is only known by you
You made her
I try to keep up with the requirements
Just so I dont loose you
While letting go of me

I am letting go of me for you
Like a infant gazing in his mother's eyes
Reading her every thought
I stare at your movements
Learning each meaning of your words
I dont want to loose you
I become who you want me to be
I am letting go of me for you

As I let go of myself
What will happen to me when you gone
What a dangerous thing to do
Letting go of my whole existence for love
Who will be me when I become you
The perfect creature that laughs so freely

I am letting go of you for me
Someone will one day appreciate
The me that loves so easily
The I that enjoys dancing in the rain
He will cherish the moments you took for granted

I am not letting go of me
But I am letting go of you
Goodbye my love
I am embracing the beauty given as a gift
It is in me
I can't let go of it
I am letting go of you for me

i was waiting for an opportunity to take my dad's credit card
because i wanted something
and tonight
just when i really wanted something
something silly
very badly
he was on the phone
his wallet on the table...
within two minutes
i was walking upstairs
his grody card
in my hand
punching in the numbers

before i clicked confirm order
i thought of remedying the situation
"oh...dad...i was just trying to order you your birthday present
without you knowing
wanted it to be a surprise
haha, never guessed, did you"
i thought he wouldn't notice
the $30 missing

after i finally got what i wanted
i felt so full
i finally had it

and then i felt scared
and
embarrassed
and
ashamed
and i wondered
if this is what i am reduced to
materialistic ****
stealing from my father
who gives me all he can
is this just because i am a girl
or because i am human
or because i am sad
when will i stop stealing things
am i some sick *******
who gets a thrill out of petty crimes
what will i do next?

His eyes
Pressed into her with the pull of polarity
A haunting indication of an impossibility too beautiful to protest
He looks
With a longing he has hidden deep in his sock drawer
So no one can tell him he’s wrong or irrational
A locket only to be worn round his pulsating mind’s mannequin
But she wears on her sleeve what he’s trying to leave
And dressed like a nightingale
In feathers so free
Her eyes with a fire that waves like the sea
Closer they crawl
Past night’s shadowed humans getting drunk off doubt and betting on beauty
Past the scratches on stools once straddled by sorrow
And Isolation, his lover
Who lost her last words somewhere under the covers
That they shook out in morning
To shake off the mourning
But the streets crave a sweep
For the ashes are thick and catch on their tongue
Reminding the runaways to stop feeling young
And as they both draw so near
With the friction of fear
And the whip of a wish
And a harsh hit of hope
For the call of a kiss
Her hairs stand on stilts at the nape of her neck
An impatient frenzy that’s waiting on deck
But the lights left her lonely
A bubble-bruised brain
And he left her only
The promise of pain
As he grabbed another hand and rushed out the door
She smiled a sadness that left her lips sore
And gathered her hollows
And the last of her trust
And took to the streets with the ashes and dust

i am a mess of the mistakes
others have made;
thoughts of you
and what you did to me
cause me to grind my teeth.
i thought you were an angel
and yes, i mean that metaphorically
but i mean it literally, too.
i was drowning in depression
and you came along to save me
and honestly,
i really thought you'd stay.
but no,
you are the devil's replica
and oh my god you know how to lie
and tempt
and burn.
you found me in a place no map could portray;
dancing with my own darkness
as if the shadows were somehow a comfort
for my delicate little heart to love.
why did you take me away from the dark
just to throw me in to it further?
i wish you'd disappear, somewhere miles away.
i wish you'd go somewhere as cold, empty and isolated as yourself.
i gave you everything
and you left me with nothing,
causing me to start a war with my skin.
do you know how much it hurts
to have to search for countless reasons
as to why you're not good enough?
do you know how much it hurts
to know you're not enough for someone
who is more than enough for you?
i do not love the person
who walked away from me that day
i am in love with the person
i thought you were.
do you know how much that hurts?
i am in love with someone who doesn't even exist!
i've spent weeks wishing you'd come back
but now,
i do not want you back.
you were only in love with the concept of me
and the thought of that makes me sick
to my stomach.
i hope that it
was worth losing me for.
it's clear her skin served you
better than mine ever did.
it's clear her body was more of a masterpiece
than mine ever was.

Our relationship began from a simple Facebook message,
which led into weeks of looking forward to your messages
and catching any glimpse I could of you in the hall

You couldn't like me
You, like someone like me?
She was beautiful, that L girl,
and i had low self-esteem.

I had to get real.
Hours of confiding in my gay best friend for help,
Which didn’t help
     “I can’t believe how much I like him, I don’t know what to do”
Was said to her on the fifth of December.
    I’d only known you for a month then
But, I knew you were gonna be something
Maybe it was your wit, or your most perfect features
Perhaps your smile,
that smell of old spice,
which somehow spoke to your maturity.

In any event,
I had to look for someone I could actually get,
even when I didn't want anyone but you

fast forward

Laid there for twenty minutes that night you first touched me,
I was a scared little ******,
or still considered myself one
Unaware of how emotional things of that nature would become for me
Or already were

but you shushed me and reassured me
"I never want to do anything like this with anyone else"
Is what you said to me
I'll never forget
I was thinking the same thing
Still am.

Can’t wait for the day you touch me again
In whatever way is most pleasing to you
I’ll do whatever you want
Anything feels good with you

Can’t wait to wake up and see that
grin on your face when I kiss your
Chapped lips before you’ve sipped your
morning coffee.


**I’m completely in love with you and every second you ignore me is a different kind of hell.