Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Feb 2011 Victor Thorn
JJ Hutton
yeah.
u are prettier without me.
i'm cancer.
i'm ****.
i'm a plaster cast of ur ideal man.
i'm empty.
i'm far gone.
i'm ****** music.
i'm death.
u r purity.
innocence.
kindness.
love.
i'm death over and over again.

i won't live much longer.

u deserve a family,
someone who u can pass ur love to.

i'm gone.
i'm gone.
i'm gone.

i loved you more than anyone,
but i started ******* u over and couldn't stand it,
because u were the sweetest person
i ever met.

be happy.
              find someone kind,
                                         someone that is handsome.

let me fall into the shadows
like i was destined to.
   let me dissolve into nothing.
let me die alone.
    
                  whether
rope                or             bullet,

                  whether
alcohol            or             smoke,

let my self loathing conquer.

go on.
keep moving.
ever forward.

i hope u find heaven,
                     i hope u find picket fences.
ur pure.
ur perfect.

i miss u, but can't have u.

because i'm the antichrist.


i'm the apocalypse.


the nails in the crucifix.



the cancer u can't eat.

keep moving.
keep moving.
keep moving.

i love u more than anything and thats why i can't have u,
because i'm satan, and u deserve bliss.

i can't be selfish.

kiss those other boys,
                       they won't let u down.

i will self destruct
                      and worship the memory of u.
Copyright 2010 by Joshua J. Hutton
It’s hard to get out of it
Once you get into it

And I know what you’re thinking,
And you’re probably wrong.

But sometimes, it’s like your eyes adjust and turn everything
Grey
And then when you realize that
“I am an organism capable of
Perceiving color”

It’s foreign

You imagine an aged man, a long time ago, with white hair and
Maybe a lab coat
And you don’t know where he is,
But he’s just invented the color blue,

He’s just created the world.

Yeah, it’s hard to get out of it
Once you get into it

But listen to me:
Get out of it.

Go create the world.
I love the way you bite your lip
right before we kiss
and how you like to punk out in the burbs
to rancid and citizen fish.
I love that crooked smile
I love your skinny jeans
I think I'd like to stay a while
beside you in this dream
What a difference a year can make
It still seems like it only happened yesterday

Now when I see you, I think back to May
Back to when you were in my life
Back to when we were friends
Back to when everything seemed so perfect

My world doesn’t revolve around you trying to make me happy
Who even gave you the right to steal my happiness in the first place?

Now when I see you, I think back to May
Back to when you were in my life
Back to when we were friends
Back to when everything seemed so perfect

In the long run I guess its better that we’re not friends anymore
I guess that’s what you really want anyway

Now when I see you, I think back to May
Back to when you were in my life
Back to when we were friends
Back to when everything seemed so perfect

Now I am putting the pieces together of my once shattered heart
Only time will keep us apart

Now when I see you, I think back to May
Back to when you were in my life
Back to when we were friends
Back to when everything seemed so perfect

I once wanted nothing more to fix are broken relationship
Sometimes I think I should have tried harder to have stopped you from walking out of my life

Now when I see you, I think back to May
Back to when you were in my life
Back to when we were friends
Back to when everything seemed so perfect
I hope this poem doesn't sound to repetive. let me know what you think
For
              Carl Solomon

                   I

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
      madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the ***** streets at dawn
      looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
      connection to the starry dynamo in the machin-
      ery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
      up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
      cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
      contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and
      saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tene-
      ment roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
      hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy
      among the scholars of war,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy &
      publishing obscene odes on the windows of the
      skull,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burn-
      ing their money in wastebaskets and listening
      to the Terror through the wall,
who got busted in their ***** beards returning through
      Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York,
who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in
      Paradise Alley, death, or purgatoried their
      torsos night after night
with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, al-
      cohol and **** and endless *****,
incomparable blind; streets of shuddering cloud and
      lightning in the mind leaping toward poles of
      Canada & Paterson, illuminating all the mo-
      tionless world of Time between,
Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery
      dawns, wine drunkenness over the rooftops,
      storefront boroughs of teahead joyride neon
      blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree
      vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brook-
      lyn, ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind,
who chained themselves to subways for the endless
      ride from Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine
      until the noise of wheels and children brought
      them down shuddering mouth-wracked and
      battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance
      in the drear light of Zoo,
who sank all night in submarine light of Bickford's
      floated out and sat through the stale beer after
      noon in desolate Fugazzi's, listening to the crack
      of doom on the hydrogen jukebox,
who talked continuously seventy hours from park to
      pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brook-
      lyn Bridge,
lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping
      down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills
      off Empire State out of the moon,
yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts
      and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks
      and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,
whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days
      and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the
      Synagogue cast on the pavement,
who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a
      trail of ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic
      City Hall,
suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grind-
      ings and migraines of China under junk-with-
      drawal in Newark's bleak furnished room,
who wandered around and around at midnight in the
      railroad yard wondering where to go, and went,
      leaving no broken hearts,
who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing
      through snow toward lonesome farms in grand-
      father night,
who studied Plotinus Poe St. John of the Cross telep-
      athy and bop kabbalah because the cosmos in-
      stinctively vibrated at their feet in Kansas,
who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking vis-
      ionary indian angels who were visionary indian
      angels,
who thought they were only mad when Baltimore
      gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,
who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Okla-
      homa on the impulse of winter midnight street
      light smalltown rain,
who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston
      seeking jazz or *** or soup, and followed the
      brilliant Spaniard to converse about America
      and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship
      to Africa,
who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving
      behind nothing but the shadow of dungarees
      and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in fire
      place Chicago,
who reappeared on the West Coast investigating the
      F.B.I. in beards and shorts with big pacifist
      eyes **** in their dark skin passing out incom-
      prehensible leaflets,
who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting
      the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism,
who distributed Supercommunist pamphlets in Union
      Square weeping and ******* while the sirens
      of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed
      down Wall, and the Staten Island ferry also
      wailed,
who broke down crying in white gymnasiums naked
      and trembling before the machinery of other
      skeletons,
who bit detectives in the neck and shrieked with delight
      in policecars for committing no crime but their
      own wild cooking pederasty and intoxication,
who howled on their knees in the subway and were
      dragged off the roof waving genitals and manu-
      scripts,
who let themselves be ****** in the *** by saintly
      motorcyclists, and screamed with joy,
who blew and were blown by those human seraphim,
      the sailors, caresses of Atlantic and Caribbean
      love,
who balled in the morning in the evenings in rose
      gardens and the grass of public parks and
      cemeteries scattering their ***** freely to
      whomever come who may,
who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up
      with a sob behind a partition in a Turkish Bath
      when the blond & naked angel came to pierce
      them with a sword,
who lost their loveboys to the three old shrews of fate
      the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar
      the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb
      and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but
      sit on her *** and snip the intellectual golden
      threads of the craftsman's loom,
who copulated ecstatic and insatiate with a bottle of
      beer a sweetheart a package of cigarettes a can-
      dle and fell off the bed, and continued along
      the floor and down the hall and ended fainting
      on the wall with a vision of ultimate **** and
      come eluding the last gyzym of consciousness,
who sweetened the snatches of a million girls trembling
      in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning
      but prepared to sweeten the ****** of the sun
      rise, flashing buttocks under barns and naked
      in the lake,
who went out ******* through Colorado in myriad
      stolen night-cars, N.C., secret hero of these
      poems, cocksman and Adonis of Denver--joy
      to the memory of his innumerable lays of girls
      in empty lots & diner backyards, moviehouses'
      rickety rows, on mountaintops in caves or with
      gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside lonely pet-
      ticoat upliftings & especially secret gas-station
      solipsisms of johns, & hometown alleys too,
who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in
      dreams, woke on a sudden Manhattan, and
      picked themselves up out of basements hung
      over with heartless Tokay and horrors of Third
      Avenue iron dreams & stumbled to unemploy-
      ment offices,
who walked all night with their shoes full of blood on
      the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the
      East River to open to a room full of steamheat
      and *****,
who created great suicidal dramas on the apartment
      cliff-banks of the Hudson under the wartime
      blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall
      be crowned with laurel in oblivion,
who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested
      the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of
      Bowery,
who wept at the romance of the streets with their
      pushcarts full of onions and bad music,
who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the
      bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in
      their lofts,
who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned
      with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded
      by orange crates of theology,
who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty
      incantations which in the yellow morning were
      stanzas of gibberish,
who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht
      & tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable
      kingdom,
who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for
      an egg,
who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot
      for Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks
      fell on their heads every day for the next decade,
who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccess-
      fully, gave up and were forced to open antique
      stores where they thought they were growing
      old and cried,
who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits
      on Madison Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse
      & the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments
      of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the
      fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinis-
      ter intelligent editors, or were run down by the
      drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality,
who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually hap-
      pened and walked away unknown and forgotten
      into the ghostly daze of Chinatown soup alley
      ways & firetrucks, not even one free beer,
who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of
      the subway window, jumped in the filthy Pas-
      saic, leaped on negroes, cried all over the street,
      danced on broken wineglasses barefoot smashed
      phonograph records of nostalgic European
      1930s German jazz finished the whiskey and
      threw up groaning into the ****** toilet, moans
      in their ears and the blast of colossal steam
      whistles,
who barreled down the highways of the past journeying
      to each other's hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude
      watch or Birmingham jazz incarnation,
who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out
      if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had
      a vision to find out Eternity,
who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who
      came back to Denver & waited in vain, who
      watched over Denver & brooded & loned in
      Denver and finally went away to find out the
      Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,
who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying
      for each other's salvation and light and *******,
      until the soul illuminated its hair for a second,
who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for
      impossible criminals with golden heads and the
      charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet
      blues to Alcatraz,
who retired to Mexico to cultivate a habit, or Rocky
   &nb
 Dec 2010 Victor Thorn
JJ Hutton
Living in the gaudy, arrogant buckle of the bible belt
is a constant crucifixion for the unconventional thinker.
 Dec 2010 Victor Thorn
P S Bravo
Shadow before me tell me what you see...
Can this truly be? is this what's become of me?
This desert wanderer tired and thirsty,
Whose only drink of water was given away for free.

What I try to reveal to light is now hindered
By the shifting of stars and the coming of winter.
Forever lost in the wake of the sun's glare,
Exposing to me, my love and all my worldly care.
Now how the wind will burn me with its frost,
Reminding me that death is worse to bear than loss.

Broken heart of mine heed my call,
What I've found is your not broken at all,
Bruised and battered a bit, maybe-
But beaten and shattered you'll never be.
Heart of mine please be strong
And keep me well when love goes wrong.
Bleed this blood as I type these words,
Words in the vein of a song-less bird
Without a voice so seldom heard.

Avail oneself, of no avail.
Cast it down like the summer-storm hail,
Eat the dust that floats in the wind.
Breathe in the earth, breathe in, breathe in.
 Dec 2010 Victor Thorn
P S Bravo
I am not an ordinary person.

I am no genius,
no artist,
and barely a poet.

I have no great life's work,
no opera,
no magnum opus;
but I'm no ordinary person.

There are no great lovers
waiting for my arrival
at the docks,
or morning my departure
as the ship sets sail.

No major sporting events
with crowds of fans cheering
and booing my every
success and failure.

Nobody takes pictures
of me or gawks at my pose.

Nor does anyone ask
for my signature
on their favorite
piece of paper,
which happens to be
stained by the ink
of my own words.

No one praises me
for my work,
or thinks I'm the best
at what I do,
whatever it is I do.

But I'm no ordinary person.

I have no son or
daughter to look up to me.

Parties aren't thrown
for me, and I am not
on the top of anyone's list,
not even the **** list
my enemies make.

I don't dance very well,
and I'm not a good singer,
songwriter,
musician,
or composer.

I'll probably never
be on TV or
in the movies,
no that's not
gonna be me.

But my life's work
is its happiness,
my operas are
my own personal dramas,
and my magnum opus
is this life itself.

For I am like you
the extraordinary person.
Next page