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I wanted to tell you how I felt
I wanted you to know what was going through mind, but. . . .
I was afraid
You see,
Being me,
I was afraid
Afraid you won't really understand
Afraid that you have other things on your mind more important than what I'm going through
I was afraid that you would no longer look at me the same way
I was afraid

And so I was silent
I said nothing

And the unspoken words welled up as tears as I lay by myself in bed that night
As they always do when I don't say
What I want to say
What I need to say

It's lonely being afraid
And it's scary to tell someone
That you feel so alone

That's what I was afraid to tell you,
And I was afraid to ask you
"Are you lonely too?"
It is amazing
The difference between hate
And love
Both like fire
One rampant and destructive
Scarring everything it touches, turning everything it touches into ashes
The other-soft and warm like sun kissing your skin
Safe as an evening inside by a hearth on cold snowy night

Love
Nurturing everything it touches
Healing wounds that cannot be seen or touched
Only felt

Hate
Not caring for anyone or anything
Wounding everything and everyone it touches
But mostly
Hurting those who hate most

If only they could see the burden they carry
If only they could see their hearts turning to ashes
But they are blind and the fire is strong and hard to put out
Even if they wanted to

And they keep feeding and feeding and feeding the inferno

If only they turned to a different kind of flame
If only they could let their heart be turned to an everlasting flame
One that lets them see beyond what meets the eye into the reality of shared humanity
If only
They could see beyond their blindness and see the light and colour of our shared existence
And see
That thing that makes life mean something
 Feb 2014 Victor Marques
Lyla
You mustered up all of the strength you could
to force me to shatter
into fragments on the floor
yet your whole persona is unblemished.
Flowers entwine your rib-cage
to protect your heart made of  roses
but what about me?
It's difficult to rebuild myself
when all you left behind are your thorns
making a home in my every being
that blinds me with pain
*I beg for you to finish me.
 Feb 2014 Victor Marques
Lyla
Skin
 Feb 2014 Victor Marques
Lyla
Hands bloodstained, that's what I get for touching sunsets.
"Too fond of flames" but you're so addictive.
Sunlight emits from your every crevice and pour
and your touch leaves tree rings on my skin,
studying it is like dendrochronology, so intricate.

Ivory and pale as if oblivious to the sun within you,
yet it shone so bright from within.
Our body's fit together like one big cliché of a puzzle
and we made this bed a home.

Then I realized your flame diminished for me over time.
My fingers that ran over you came up black.
That's what happens when you touch ash
and now your touch leaves a mere fog on my skin,
I guess that's what happens when we burn fast and bright.
 Feb 2014 Victor Marques
Lyla
Venturing into the heart of insanity,
(my mind)
I fear that i will lose myself.
I hear the blood rushing in my head
(Will it ever drown me?)
As its the only sound i hear apart from myself.
Alone with my thoughts,
(Wish me well..)
Maybe this is what i want.
Insanity. Chaos. Something.
Lately I've been fighting back the urge for crying,
really don't know what's wrong with me.
Guess I've lost the grip on my denying
that the dark pain would never be seen.
Doors have opened where the ghosts all were hiding,
got no more fight left in me.
No strength left to keep my face smiling,
time to face cold reality.
Lately.........feel the urge for crying.....
really , I know what's wrong with me.
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