Of all the things
I could desire

my well being always
ends up second,
right after you.

So alone how can you be with someone and be so alone at the same time . you are nothing to him just there. You know it's not you any more just how much can you go through how much pain can your body handle. How many times can you let him take your heart and pull it out and dance on it with her. She knows all about you. you have talked to her. You can see it in her eyes the i'm ******* your man,  looks she gives you. why   why how can i do it. Every day playing like i don't know where he is going why.  Is it that much better to be with him than to be alone. How many towns can you flood with the tears. All the smiles you put on for all this years why why how can i why with everything he has did why. Why do i stay please help me   help me

I look to the sky, endless blue overtaking my vision in hues so bold I have to close my eyes once again, return to the darkness.
I dream I'm lying in the grass, looking up, not overwhelmed at the blueness this time, but enjoying it. Maybe someone is with me. Maybe they too are transfixed at the enormity of space.
I stare for a long time, thinking of how I could paint it. Struggling to capture what beauty it holds. Maybe I'll paint the stars too; little bursts of light intruding on the deep swirls of night sky.