1680

Sometimes with the Heart
Seldom with the Soul
Scarcer once with the Might
Few—love at all.

I'll start with this, a simple wish
My long-awaited dream to fly
When you told me forever, I almost believed you
And I nearly let my hidden wings unfold
But then I thought maybe you didn't mean forever, not really
Maybe you were just exaggerating
So I tucked them away, hiding them deep within myself again

Flying would prove to be very lonesome, if I had no one to join me

The second was my inner desire to become lost,
To somehow lose myself in search of uncovering who I wanted to be
But to merely pretend, and fall into the masquerade of life was too effortless
Instead I sought to be free, to find what made me different and never change
That's where we clashed unpleasantly
You always knew where you were going; you always had a plan
I only drifted aimlessly, hoping that with a hint of serendipity sooner or later
I would unearth what I was looking for

Losing myself would be rather impossible, if I had nobody to find me again

The final was the most significant, but also the most strange
My fear of letting someone in, to close the distance from stranger to friend
Or even more so than a friend
All my doubts and uncertainties revolved around you  
I didn't want you to discover my soul inside and be sadly disappointed
Or maybe even disgusted with what you saw
So I didn't let you get too close, I made myself think that I wasn't what you needed
Nor would I ever be
So you see, my dear

It was very hard to be with someone, when all along I knew I was better off alone

I can't make you want me.
I can't make you care,
About my feelings or emotions,
You left my heart bare.
I cry over you,
Although I know it wont faze you.

Tears fall from my eyes,
As I try to forget you.
It hurts to be unwanted,
Left to the side,
Forgotten about in the blink of an eye.
I feel so insignificant,
So incredibly small,
Knowing that I meant nothing at all.

But I can't make you want me.
I know you don't care.
As much as I want you,
You'll never be there.

Do it. Why not?
Let her down, let her fall into endless voids,
Where the sadness is deeper than all the oceans we ever knew.
You, who she picked up so bruised and broken,
Full of sad thoughts and kind smiles,
She needn't be your burden anymore
Leave her to find her own way out
Regardless of who dragged who into whose mess.
And she has been trying;
trying to remember what it was to be happy,
trying to release the heaviness,
offering exits through pierced skin,
swallowing the provided medication.
Sometimes she forgets,
forgets which pill when,
forgets to eat,
forgets to get out of her bed-fortress.
But I can tell you most solemnly,
She never forgets what it was to have you.

A Serotinous Pine there,
Where winter snows soak into thirsty soil but relentless summer sun bakes motionless
Every plant a tinder held close to conflagration,
in a season's Russian roulette of forest fire.
This pine seals precious seed away from every spring’s promise,
lest burning destroys every one.
Only searing heat during torched consumption triggers the last gentle act,
At the knife’s edge of apocalypse itself,
opening cones of seeds.
Fluttering down to new life on the other side of time.
Tiny bright green amid black ashes.

Swimming Penguins
Birds evolved to fly in ocean.
Wings to flippers, feet stepping clumsily from water.
Yet eggs must still nest, their babies still breathe.
Safety is the very precipice of existence, on bitter ice at 60 below,
Sheltering their young clustered from blistering winds,
fasting from sustenance,
While heaven’s glorious Aurora flame silently over their winter dreams.

So what then are we, on This Earth?
Cerebral Creatures, Storytelling Animals.
Minds created to sense spiritual constructs.
Living is the method of our creation,
Sheltering each other from inherited trials
With contrived joys and sufferings distracting each other
from the soul freezing fearful cold of the Empty Void
And consuming fire of electric chaos.
In the End, our sacrificing gift for our children
is God.

Lost in words,
Lost myself,
Lost everything.

Still striving,
Lifelessly surviving,
Living by the hour.

Gone in 60 seconds,
Had to learn my lessons,
But it's far to late to turn back.

Metal bracelets,
Free car ride,
A bed, a blanket, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Burned a bridge,
Tried to swim,
Drowned....