It was the darkest night
But you were there, right by my side
Made me love things I always thought I’d hate
A few bad things happened to change

I’ll never tell you about my problems anymore,
I think it’s for the best or I’d do it some more
But even in the brightest light,
Evil comes and then the night
Devours all that you can see,
Taken what is left of me
I’m not the same person you loved
There’s barely anything left

The truth is, I was never meant for the light anyways
The sunlight only ever brought me pain
And when the darkness came, it never left me the same
At best, I like it a cloudy time,
At worst with pouring rain
But it always seemed to turn to night
One thing that gets worse, it’s always the pain…

The night was something I never liked
But I seem to make it myself
I hate myself for it
I never thought I’d be here, in this place
I kind of wish there was some pouring rain
Cause sunlight is too bright for an eye that is always used to the night
I wish my eyes would adjust,
But it’s been too long for me
Perfection in daylight…
Something I’ll never see
I wish I could stay with the sunset always in my eyes
But it always passes too quickly,
And I wish I’d die
Never, never, never
I wish things could just be alright

I know I ruined thing between us,
It’ll never be the same, cause we’ll never trust
And I won’t try to get it back
Cause I don’t deserve it
And I’ll never try to get back your love,
Even though it’s something that I could never have enough

When I was in pain,
You made things right
When god seemed far away,
You were in sight
And even though I’m afraid of the dark,
You were always the perfect night

Inside the room, alone I wait.

Chained and gagged, to depreciate.

I hang here, every day,

I just want

To waste away.

My ears are gone,

From my eyes I bleed.

What did I do? What sinister deed?

I thought it was my life
Building and tearing down out of strife
I thought you loved in another way
But I think it’s better today
And even though it hurts a lot
I can bear the pain

If the world’s at large,
Why should I remain?
But I can’t leave my town
And it’s so hard to change these ways
But I’ll still float on,
Won’t you understand?

I know I’m not making the most
My mind, it feels like I’m a ghost
I need something to make me feel a little less insane
Even though I’m not in the ocean,
I’m still in this undertow

I thought I was out of my mind
But why are you in it all the time?
I wish I could act like I didn’t care
But I don’t wanna be a liar anymore
So I lay on this wooden floor
Trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away

That’s no way to live
They always say the things I hate to hear
****, it’s a sin to be this queer
I try to be good
I try to do things right
I always to seem to end up in a fight
I never wanted to lie
I never wanted you to make me cry

Why can’t I just live my life?
I always seem to be full of lies
I don’t wanna tell them to you
I stopped, that’s true
I’m sorry for all that stuff I did
I didn’t mean it when I said I hated you
I hope you were lying too

Can’t even be myself
Not like my parents help
‘Always here for you’ that much is true
But it’s the bad things they always seem to do
Give me help?
No, just make me depressed
Love myself?
No, I’m just a *****
Tell you I’m gay,
You tell me I can’t feel that way
I guess I’m just stuck in sin

Just one last time
I wanted to make things right…
I never do it
Like I do it in my mind
Oh, just one single time
Just wanted to do it right
But there’s always a fight…
I hope I’ll do it right one day

I’ll,
See you in heaven
See you in hell
Every day I’m alive is a day that ain’t so well
I wish I could fix every mistake I made
I wish I could just take away the pain

And why
Oh, I don’t know why
It makes me want to cry
Every day I want to die
And why
A million and more times
I just can’t do it right
I’ll fix it all one day

When’d
Ya learn I’m not alright?
That I can’t even go a night
Without screaming out in pain

Oh
I’ll do it all myself
Cause I ain’t got nobody else
I wish I could say I did

I wish
I wish I had a life
One that would inspire
One that I’d be proud to show today
Not this one I’d give away

****, I’ve got this restless mind
Won’t give me any time
I just want to go away

I’d
Give my life
If I knew I’d make a difference
I’m tired of being a lie
I’d die
A thousand and more times
If I could just see her smile
Before the pain takes me away

And I hate myself
And everything I’ve ever done
I’m tired of these stupid songs
I’m tired of myself

I
Can’t even be myself
Liking men sets me apart from everything else
I’m glad I can lie today

I hope that no one else
Will ever know this pain
Cause it’s driving me insane
Seeing shadows all the time
All the ****** time

And when I want to end myself
I know it won’t change anybody else
But I feel so selfish not doing enough
Doing enough for all the other ones
The ones I love so much
I hope they love me in return

All this sorrow,

All this pain,

Regarded with complacent disdainI could have everything in life,

I'd be just as insane



Love isn't the problem,

This one ain't worth solving



Blood sweat and tears is what you give,

In in return, you get a rusty shiv

In the center of your back, as the world fades to black

Like a horror movie you'd see on a big screen,

All you want to do is scream

But you can't even do that, they have you chained down

For the amusement of kings, with a rusted crown

You've done nothing wrong, except being born,

And for that your mind apart has been torn

The sickest of men are the ones who delight

In the pain and suffering of those too weak to fight

A smile slides across their face,

The blood flows in disgrace

Beaten to death, for the pleasure of the few,

Those who laugh at what is left of you

The world shall burn with the sin in this place,

The world shall be torn apart with such haste

All powerful men on one subject agree,

Only the mighty know what it is like to be free

I said it, I know
A million times or more
And I know you can’t trust me, but I’ll say it some more
I love, more than anything else
I know I messed up, and **** I can’t forget
Everything I could have done to prevent it
All those times
All those laughs
I guess they’re all gone now
I wish I had some hope for the future
Some drive to live
I wish I had something else
Something for me to give
I’ve wasted all my time, I’ve wasted all my life
I want to die, but I can’t
I mess up so often I don’t know why you haven’t given up yet
I say I’ll change; I try to mean it this time
I don’t know if I can do it
Staying alive is hard enough when I’m happy
I might as well go burn in hell
For all the good I’m doing here
Hurt pain and more mistakes
They hurt me more than they could every say
But I’m still wrong it’s all my fault,
Hate me more and say I’m wrong
A million and one ******* times
It’ll never be the same, oh it’ll never be the same
They could forgive me, but why would they try?
They’d me grab a gun and die
It’ll never be the same, I’ll always feel insane
I walk around the earth like I’m having fun,
When all I wants a chance to make it all numb
It happened once twice way too many times
I almost felt like I was alright
One mistake and then I’m done
Why am I the only one who can’t feel numb?
I just want to end it, end it please
But no I can’t, I can’t end it here
I’ll make it better, to god I swear
When no one else could ******* care
You’re here even though you don’t want to be,
I still don’t know what you see in me

When they did something bad, it’s still alright
I have to put down the knife
Forgive them for every single thing,
Ruining the one thing that made me happy
Promised and broke it a thousand times
But I should’ve have trusted you?
Give me a reason why
I know I’m ugly, I look like a ****
While you’re sitting on a throne as a hypocrite
I’m the one who’s wrong; you’re perfect in every way
I must not be able to feel any pain
You’re perfect in every single way, call yourself ugly just to get my praise
Lie just to get away from me, laugh in my pain; in glee as I bleed
I can’t fix anything, you never wanted me too
Lied just to make yourself seem cool
Crushing every ounce of what I had
But of course I have no right to be mad
You’re still perfect in every way, and now I’m the one who’s ******* insane
I told a million and one times
Now you believe me, after all this time
As I walk along with haunted eyes
You haven’t eaten in a day, and I supposed to believe you again?
You betrayed my trust like I did yours, but only I can see your flaws
I see every single wrong thing you did, but say a single one and I’m a hypocrite
Tell everyone I cared about everything I’ve done,
Of course now you think you’ve won
Lost all trust and lost your love,
Aren’t you glad I’m so ****** up?

When I look in the mirror, I wish I was somebody else
Just this disgusting reflection, me and no one else
Minutes run into hours, hours run into days
I'm still waiting for something, to take away this pain
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
They were always saying something, they swore they'd never say again
They were always saying something, they swore they'd never say again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
Gonna through the hallways, and find my way to the door
I'll just end up like always, back where I was before
I still look in the mirror, wish I was somebody else
But it's still my reflection, me and no one else
They were always screaming something, they swore they'd never say again
They were always screaming something, they swore they'd never speak again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
No matter where you go, you'll never find your way home
You'll never find your way home no matter where you go
They were always saying something, they swore they'd never say again
They were always saying something, they swore they'd never say again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again
Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Never be the same again

​
​​Voices, voices,
All the time,
Dark, darker voices,
Voices of mine,
Voices, voices,
To mess up my mind
Voices more voices, more all the time
Voices and voices and voices aligned

I really wonder, what's the point?
they're like the ocean,
While I'm like a knee joint
You may find that weird but I promise it's true,
They bend and break me till I snap in two

Why are they here?
I wish others could see
The things that these voices do to me
I cry out,
And they laugh
It doesn't matter the pain in the aftermath
If I died, they would jovially rejoice,
And I would too, if they were out of my mind

They call em insane and they call me psychotic,
Do they not know how the words hurt?
It doesn't matter how I seem to them,
Forever and ever, I can't always bend
So I silently cry wishing for the end

They always said I had a lack of emotion,
Yet never understood my mind's complex locomotion,
Or how to love, I practice utmost devotion

Why do they haunt me?
Take him instead
Why do they haunt me from all ends?
There's no escaping form what's in my mind,
I know that because they're there all the time

Please someone help?
Get them out of my head...
Why h why, can't I just be dead?
They whisper so quietly, sometimes I forget,
But they always come back before I can take a rest
Even sleep haunts me now, the little that I get,
Every second I'm down is a second I regret
Things could get better, I guess
But somehow that's something it never gets

Voices, voices,
All the time,
Dark, darker voices,
Voices of mine,
Voices, voices,
To mess up my mind
Voices more voices, more all the time
Voices and voices and voices aligned

The voices indeed do whisper to me,
Convinced I should do this deed,
So I pull the trigger and out of my head I do bleed

It’s only been a few days
That’s how I’m living my life
It’s only been a few years
I’ve lost some love,
I’ve lost some time
I still hate myself
But I’m still trying to hide
I used to try to take it away
This pain inside
Now all the ones I used to love
Tell me I’m despised
Well thanks for that, you ****** up too
If I make a mistake, you make two
So shut your mouth and burn in hell
Oh, it’s all so swell

Should I just along with myself?

I never did get along with anybody else.



I know I make mistakes,

They're gonna haunt me to my grave

I know I'm not the best,

Not any better then the rest

So I sit here and stare all night,

Searching for something that feels right



I hope, I hope, I hope for the best,

I hope so much more than all the rest

Is it enough?

I wish I knew,

I kneel and pray till my face turns blueI know I'm not the best,

Not any better than the rest

But ya gotta know when I say,

I wish I could just take away my pain

It hurts every time,

I scream and shout, and I cry



Should I just get along with myself?

I never did get along with anybody else...



I listen to sweet songs of black and blue,

To sick tunes of love so true...

I wish, I wish, I wish I knew,

I play this song on repeat so much my ears go deaf,

No sweet melody can repair what's left

I know I'm not the best,

Not any better than the rest

I want to know what's right,

I want to give up without a fight

I have no energy to even see

No energy to resist as I bleed...



I give in to the energies...

I finally give in and secede...

Life was always to much for me,

I never saw it till I could bleed

I wish I would just be brought down to my knees,

The headman's axe is all I need...



Should I just get along with myself?

I never did get along with anybody else



That always was the problem, anyways

I was always the one to hate,

Myself in all my spit and rage

And so I strike upon this wall,

slowly numbering my days

5750 is what I'm at,

I sit and ponder that

Why have I lived so long,

How, when my mind is so far gone

How did I ever get along



I think of days long passed,

Days long gone,

I think of all my good and wrong,

I know that through all the pain I have,

The love gets me through,

In a world of lies, that is always true

Like a dark rose in my life,

It is forgiven in my mind

Hating myself never got me anywhere

Loving others was what kept me there

It's what keeps me here now,

What makes me drag myself around



I  don't want to cry,

But as I write, it comes through my eyes

I don't know anymore,

I don't know what I'm here for



Two points for honesty,

You told the truth that makes me see,

even when it makes me scream,

and cry and kick and bleed



Poison in everything you say,

don't you, don't you,

wonder what difference does it make...

either way...



I love you, I love you, I love,

And all of your pieces



My ears are blown to bits, from all the rifle hits,

but still I crave that sound



Higher and higher, we're gonna take it,

Down to the wire



It was only a kiss,

It was only a kiss



What is it?

What is this?

Is this hate?

Or is it bliss?

What can't I see?

What have I missed?

Is it me?

Am I a piece of **?



why oh why,

I weep, I cry,

I wonder,

I wonder why,

I forgive you, please,

Stop this in my head,

I've forgiven you,

I wish I was dead



Like a dark rose inside my head,

I forgive you, please, just go ahead

Hurt me, **** me, make me cry,

I deserve the pain, I won't wonder why

When I bleed,

When i die



Should I just get along with myself?

I never did get along with myself,

I never did see what I saw in anybody else,

Only the tears running down my face

​
I was down, down,
I was on my way to hell
Redemption was I lie, that sinners told themselves
I was hopeless, yeah,
No hope for myself,
I was hopeless, yeah,
No hope for anybody else

What was I doing, I wish I knew
I never knew love, until I knew you
You saved me,
From this pain inside.
I know you love me,
And I think of you all the time
Cause when I think of you,
I know it all will be fine

And now you have to go,
I just want you to know,
I love you more than life
And now I have to leave,
But thoughts of you won't let me be,
And for me that's alright

Cause you give me, hope
When I could only hope for hell
And you gave me, love
When I could not love myself
And you give me, strength,
To do it by myself
Cause when I'm living strong,
I know I'm doing it for someone else

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

​

Everywhere you go,

And everywhere you are

I’d burn with you,

Cause you’re my shining star…

And I’m in love with everything you are



Even when you cry,

You know I’m never far

I was waiting for that chance

To take away your pain

You always thought I was something

Straight out a dream

I kept telling you that’s exactly what you’re like to me

You say I was perfect,

I’d have to disagree

Cause if I was perfect,

Then this could never be

You know I’m messed up,

And I think you love it too

I just laugh at all these mistakes,

That brought me here to you



You know how I was feeling,

Get down on myself

When I looked in the mirror,

Wished I was somebody else

But it was a ***** reflection,

Me and no one else

I used to think I knew it all,

But oh how hard I’d have to fall,



You said you wanted one thing

Just one thing to ask of me

You wanted to see me smile

When the good things were hard to see



Even when it’s hard to breath,

They’re all talking down to me,

And the tears roll free,

You’ll still be my shining star,

Cause I’m in love with who you are

I know you loved her more than me,
But that’s something I couldn’t see
And happy’s what I’d never be,
If it was like that

I just go over it and over it again and again and again
And now I’m done

I’m tired of thinking these thoughts inside my head,
Wanting always to be dead
I’m tired of living my life like I’m not alive,
And now I’m done

If I could take it back,
Every lie and time I cried,
And every time I wish I died,
I wouldn’t
Cause now I’m done

Done with feeling like I should listen to them
Worst person in the world, why should I care?
I’m gonna live life like normal, that must be fair
Take what I get and throw it in the air
I don’t even know when I started, so long ago
Always these claws tearing at my throat
Pain in my lungs, as I wake, sleep, cry
And now I’m done

Higher than the highest mountains,
That’s how you make me feel when I’m with you
I never have to worry,
About being lonely again
Cause you know how I am, and it’s hard to make friends
But you’re so much more,
And so much better than all the others could ever be
Oh, I wish I could show you
Somehow make you see
How important you are,
And how much more you mean to me
Lower than the lowest low
How I feel when I’m apart from you
Waiting until I can be with you again
Cause without you, Things are never the same,
I always feel in pain,
You’re always on the front of my mind,
No matter the day, the season or the time
You’re always the peanut butter to my jelly
And the reason to my rhyme

Maybe you’re right
I’m just a player, playing the game
But why does it hurt, give me so much pain?
I never liked the thrill of it anyways

I know the things that I used to say,
But you never listened, any day
But you told me you loved me, in every way
You might think my heart’s like ice,
But it shatters within your vice

You captured my heart, but not my soul
I try to live my life like it’s my own
I know I’m selfish, I don’t do things right
I’ll try to be better this time; don’t wanna make this mistake again
I’ll live my life like it’s not the end

I know I always bring you down,
But so soon you won’t hear my sound
You won’t have to ever talk to me,
I hope that’s how you want it to be

You think I lied, a million times
But I never did, had no reason why
I loved you then and I loved you know,
I’d show you but I don’t know how

You lied to me a thousand times, a hundred different ******* lies
You made me laugh, you made me cry,
But half the time just wanna die
I wish I could say it was worth it with you,
But that honestly will never be true
You’d be better off if I was never born,
I’m sorry I was
But even though you cause me pain,
You gave me things I’d never change
When I wanted to die,
You gave me strength
In the face of death,
I laughed it away

Sorry for all the things I’ve done,
Playing a game I’ve never won
I don’t think I will, come on
Who’d fall in love with sick ol’ me,
Messed up beyond all belief?

Knife in hand, I had a plan,
But you’re not here anymore
But I can put it down and turn around, cause I don’t need you anymore
No one will ever be like you, I know that that much is true
I’ll always remember you

I know you’re right,
Yeah, I know it’s true
I’m a messed up a guy,
With some messed up moods,
But can you really say,
You never though I loved you?
I loved you then, and I still love you now
I know it might hurt
Cause I know you hate me now
I know you never loved me back, and that’s fine
Through all the lies and misery,
You at least used to make me happy
And I don’t think you’re bad at heart
Flash just got me going from the start
If I never see you again,
Can you at least pretend that you cared?
That if we meet in heaven, it’ll be more than just awkward stares?
I don’t know about you,
But I’m feeling pretty down
And I don’t have you to turn it around
I guess it’s good,
That you hate me now…
Won’t have to worry so much about
All my pain and suffering, just laugh them off instead
I’m a joke,
I guess I always knew it
But it hurt to see you laugh behind my back,
Just didn’t know you could be like that…
Deserved it a million times over, sure,
But that doesn’t make it easier

I guess I might be the worst person in the world
And I hope ya get a kick out of it
Maybe just,
Laugh a little bit
You know I’ll be waiting

I don’t care if it takes years,
Maybe it’ll take more
But you’re something worth waiting for
I don’t need your love again,
But is there that chance we could still be friends?
I know you don’t care,
And no one else does, so I don’t blame you
But you said you cared once, was none of that true?

You know I cried
Many nights
Trying to make the wrong things right
I never could get a hold on them,
Losing track of my mind again
I thought you’d always be there for me…
But I was wrong to hope, I see
I guess you were fake anyways,
At least that’s what your friend had to say
And maybe I shared too much with you,
Since you would cut me off if you wanted to
And ya did

I know I sound crazy,
That’s only cause I am
I’d change it if I could,
But changing isn’t something I can do,
Even if it was for you

But please, just tell me if you ever cared
If you loved me like I loved you then,
If you weren’t just lying for the fun of it
I’d like to think that I meant something to you
Something I no longer do
So maybe in a year or two,
We could be friends again

We were young
Still are
So why does it hurt so much already?
They always told me that growing up *****
So why didn’t they tell me about this?
I got pain shooting through my mind
I spend all my time wondering why
I don’t know, can’t ask
No one cares,
Not anymore
I got one ray of light,
After all these years it’s blinding to my eyes
It makes everything all right
Even when I’m not, I know everything else is fine
No one else matters now,
Not until I can show you how
How much I love you
Cause I know you love me
And I love you too
When everything I know is a lie, that’s still true

I wanna wake you from your dream
Find out why you’re thinking all those negative things
Cause you’re the perfect one for me
And you’re the only who I don’t have to ask
Do you love me?

A pain. But yet we crave it, s much it makes us go insane. It's worth it, yet so many disregard it as trash, commonplace, lies, the spur of a moment, yet never does someone in love deny it to themselves. Only those who HAVE loved KNOW that love is real, and those who haven't, don't.

I don't know why,
And I kinda wanna cry,
Why can't we,
All just die!
It's not like I've got much time,
So I just wait and make dark rhymes.

I want to cry,

I want to scream,

The things I do make me want to die,

The people I'm with make me wonder why

Why do the ones who say they love me hurt me the most?

Why do I hate them more than satan himself?

But I sit in my room, I silently bleed,

My arms with scratches adorning them

It doesn't make me happy, but the pain is better than being with them

If only I could convince myself to live

Maybe if I was funny or smart

Or kind or good looking

Or anything at all

Besides cruel, evil, sinful

But I am what I am

And I am cursed with hate

For it I bleed, for it I cry

For it I scream, for it I die

I won't regret the end of me,

I just hope those I love won't have to see

The coward that hid inside of me

When I wake up,
I wanna cry
Shout out and ask god why
Why do I have to be insane,
Have this messed up thing for a brain
I wish I was normal sometimes
Cause normal people don’t seem to wanna die
And I’m not gonna lie, that sounds nice enough to me

I hope you know I live you,
You’re what’s holdin me together,
Keepin me alive
When I think of you I know,
I must’ve done something right
Cause not everyone gets lucky like me
Getting something he doesn’t deserve for free

Maybe it’s not really for free,
Cause life has it pains and ecstasy
It just seems to make me laugh and cry before it makes me bleed
I just wish this pain would go away, or at least hold itself at bay
Cause it’ll never be right; never be quite the same
Sometimes,
I just wish I could cry
So I knew I was still alive
Not yet dead inside
Like they always remind

And every once in a while,
I’ll try to deny
But I always know that they’re right
No matter how much you fight
It’s not a matter of time; it’s a matter of spite
And they got a lot of that, alright

I know you say you love me,
And I love you too
And god, I hope when you say it it’s true
Cause I don’t mean much anymore without you
And I wouldn’t have it be any other way,
I don’t care that I’m insane
And I don’t think you do, either

“What kind of life you dream of? You’re allergic to love”
Yes I know but I must say in my own defense
It’s been undeniably dear to me, I don’t know why
When all the other parts of life seemed locked behind shutters
I was feeling down, like I always do about this time
There is no reason or rhyme, when all seems fine
It’s not
I’m not okay
I wish things could be that way, but I won’t lie
15 years in hell
I’m tired of saying everything’s well, with this proper grammar
Sometimes I just want to smash it all in with a hammer
My head not exempt
From this torture I receive,
It’s so bad that I’d rather bleed
But I don’t, and everything seems fine
It’s not alright
When I look in the mirror,
I wish I was somebody else
You know, and they know, of course I hate myself
It’s just easier not to care,
But it’s so hard when you do
Cause I care about you
And you care about me, too
Do you ever wonder why it’s so hard?
So hard to just take your word, when I’ve been told they’re all lies
All these good things you say, I have to think there’s no way
I must be insane
Someone who loves me, who doesn’t think I should die?
I just have to wonder why
And half time, I can’t come up with answers
So I’ll just leave it at this;
I get tired of it, all the things you say
Why can’t you just hug me all day, tell me it’ll all be okay?
Cause once in a while, I’d like to do it my way
My own path to take away all this pain
And I just want you to hold me in your arms
I just want you to hold…

When all is dark
I need some light
I need something to make it right
And you’re always here for me

Even your eyes
Shine brighter than a million stars in the sky
No sun could be brighter,
Even heaven doesn’t have your appeal

Nothing’s ever shined like you
No one’s ever loved me like you do
All those things I said
You’ve got to know that they’re true
Cause I love everything about you

You made me take it back
Cause there is love in this world
And it’s not what I’d of thought
There is beauty in this world
Cause I see it in your face
And I see it in your grace

And it still hurts
But you take my pain away
And I still bleed, still cry out in pain
But you make me cry these tears of joy
You make everything right

Someone who won’t leave me feeling
Disappointed
And I’ve found that in you

​
I'm tired of it now.
It was never good anyways.
Why can't it just fall?
Why can't I burn it all?

You're not like a ghost upon a wall
Because you're not even there at all;
You're not invisible,
You just don't exist

Like a fallen god,
Nailed to my crucifix
I wish I was loved,
But that would be to much, wouldn't it?

If only I could take it away...
If only I could make them pay...
Why is there no other way?
Can't I live to see another day?

One bullet in the chamber,
I wish I could save it for later
The blade up against my neck,
I can't put aside what hap[pens next

You were always there for me,
But haven't you seen what I can be?
Why would you waste so much time,
When I know you could be happy?

You've wasted so much time,
I wish I could make it a crime,
But you never listen to me, would ya?

Every time I see you there,
I wish I could make myself not care,
Trust me, you make it so hard to take a fall,
Why can't I just ***** it all?

You know how I joke about russian roulette?
Well trust, I haven't done it yet
And when I decide I can't stand my life,
The chamber won't be missing a single bullet

Is it now?
Is this the end?
Why can't it just happen yet?
It's not death I fear,
It's what's left

I wish it was nothing,
Oh trust me, I try,
I try to believe it every time
The gun to my head,
the knife to my throat,
I try not to cry

Why can't you hate me?
Oh, just let me leave
Why do you care if I cry or bleed?
Please, stop caring, stop loving me,
So when I die I can do so peacefully

It's like, why?
But never answered
Never even a question
This spell that I'm under
Another time
Another reason why
Another question
Still no answers
Why?
I'm still wondering why
Still asking why
You don't know my pain,
You don't see my cry

Like drinking poison, and eating glass.
The pain comes, oh so fast.
Pain from the future, pain from the past.
Oh, how this pain,
How long it lasts.

​
​​
​​
And it starts,
With a choice of mine
And it burns,
Through this heart of mine
Why can't I love you both?
Tell me why it's so gross
Why is it wrong,
What is it wrong with me?
Why can't I be the way I want to be?
See you the way I want to see?
Bleed the way I want to bleed?

You know I hate how it is
You know I wish I could change it
But you know I hate changing

You know I love you both,
It doesn't matter if I love you the most
It still hurts, burns inside
Every night, it makes me cry

Just because I love you more,
Doesn't mean it won't hurt me too
Even if she hates me after it,
It'll tear my heart in two
Cause even if I care more for you,
I can't stop loving her too

Even when I want to lie,
with you I always say what's true,
at least to me,
maybe not to you

Every single word I've said,
I hate every one, every time,
But when I'm with I don't have to wonder why,
You give some purpose to my life,
Even if only in your arms I am to die,
It's better than what I had when I lived a lie

​
​​
And she spoke life into my bones,
From dust into fire
And she spoke life into my bones,
From death to life

The words she says,
They mean so much more to me
The things she says,
I wish they all could see

When life's been draggin' me down,
She always seems to turn me around
When only thorns seem to be my crown,
She turns my world upside and out

I wondered how much worse I could be,
Then she walked into my life
I was on that downward spiral,
We all go down every once in a while
If I was in hell before, I'm in heaven now
And I don't even know how
But she gives me life,
Every time she makes me smile

Everybody knows that pain,
You don't want to die in vain
You want to mean something,
Something more than the rest,
To put you up with the best
Never knowin' if you're up to the test

And she said it and it was done,
Shining brighter than the stars and the sun
And she said it and it was done,
Setting fire in my soul

​
​​just dragging along,
time taking it's toll
Just hearing this song,
It's growing old
It's not that I hate it,
It's that I hate what it means

Every time,
They always sing
Every time,
I get tired of it, it gets tired of me

No matter when it's sung,
It's always the same to me
No matter who sings it,
It's always the same beat

Always going on,
It still feels wrong
Oh, can I just go home

Oh my god,
what have you done,
And I leave,
On the ocean

I make mistakes,
yes I see,
You want perfection?
Perfection's not for me
You wanna know,
What I see
Well I see the future,
And it's not good for me

Standing on a mountain top,
The sky is caving in,
But I will remain the honest soldier
Living life is such a pain,
I say it all the time
Trust me the last I want to do is whine
But I can't even move forward,
It hurts me, oh it's fine

if I say it enough,
will it become true?
Cause I know life is tough,
And I don't want to lose you

I hear this song,
it hurts everyday
I just wish I could,
Could find some other way

i hear voices, hear them all the time
Why can't I just tell you it's fine?
If I do it enough, will it all be alright?
If I go deaf, can they stop getting inside?
I tried to lock the door, it gets even worse
I try to sleep they mock me even more
Why don't they think I know I'm bad?
I know every wrong thing I've done
Why can't they just accept the fact?
Why don't they see they've already won?

I know I said I’d always be there
Why can’t you do the same for me?
I try every time
To be the best that I can be
So why?
Why’d ya never do anything I need?

You know I’d do anything for you
I keep telling you it’s true
I’d die a thousand times,
A thousand painful ways
A thousand painful days

You take it all for granted, leave me on my knees
I know if I was dying, you’d leave me there to bleed
I try to make you understand
But you leave me there, walking away

I always came back, no matter how you were to me
I know you don’t care, cause you never see
Why do they always matter more than me?
Don’t you know that you mean the most to me?
Can’t you tell me what wrong with me?
I know it’s there, but it’s too dark to see,
Hidden in dark memories

I
Just want to cry
To remind myself that I’m alive,
That I’m not quite dead inside
I wish I could restart my life
Push a button, make it right
Crying is all I want to do
I know it’s the only thing that’s true
Cause everything else is used against you
Every day and every night
Sleep is hard, it’s no surprise
And shallow when it does arise
Why can’t I sleep forever?
Live in dreams of bliss
Live some fake happiness
It’s better than this hell

You stick to the side of me,

You are just where I wanna be,

You see everything I see.

You are the perfect one for me,

I want you to know the love I have

Is for you, the only one who has.

You gave me hope, you gave me light,

When I was wrong, you set me right.

You're not a lamp to my feet,

You're the blazing sun, and the desert heat.

You give me warmth in my coldest times,

You have my heart, all the time.

Everything I want from you,

You give to me so easily.

Cause all I want is your love,

Descending on me like the holy dove.

It must be god that sent you to me,

You're so much more than I deserve to have.

Whenever I am feeling down,

Your words fill me with joy I never had.

Even when everything is wrong,

You show me kindness,

Everything I want,

But more than what I desire to have,

You fill my heart like no one ever has.

All by myself,
I’m better on my own
That’s the kind of lie,
The kind that I used to own

I know I get mad,
I know I get sad,
I know that more than half the things I do are bad
But you’ll forgive me, right?
Cause that’s the reason that I try

I’m kind of bad at this, I’m not gonna lie
I’m not used to someone loving me
15 years in hell,
No love, no one to tell
You’re the one, the one I need
You’re the one for who I’d bleed
My life means nothing compared to yours

Sometimes I act like you’re the last thing I need
It must, cause that’s how it seems to me
Never think I’m mad at you,
When I am it’s never true
Perfection in your steps,
Kindness in every breath,
I’ll always forgive you
So won’t you just forgive me too?
I’ll always forgive you,
So won’t you forgive me too?