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Jared Eli Jul 2013
Elizabeth Ann, Elizabeth Ann
You write lyrics to life as no one else can
The notifications let me know right now
That you've stopped in to write of the who, when, and how
I'm clicking the heart, but sometimes I just read
So it seems like I just sort of glance through your feed
To be honest, your poetry gives me full thoughts
That I harness and grow when I set up tent cots
Manual labor, when I let my mind flow
Along the river of dreams with a piano I know
It's not just your words, but thine poems are abundant
And bounce through my mind whilst I am recumbent
Jared Eli Nov 2017
I've got an eclectic taste; everyone who knows me better than they can throw me will say it
(Those that can throw me better than they know me are giants
And they aren't allowed to exist too near me;
I'm a Halfling.)
But my tastes are eclectic, and my album choices range from "Ten$ion" to "Merry Christmas"
My palate asks for potato salad, then daiquiri ice
I love the way Trainspotting wraps up nicely and how T2 comes along and undoes the work of the previous film-- ruins it
And then I love The Grand Budapest Hotel for being well-kept and neat
I have a range of tastes that don't align, that don't make sense.
But with you, my eccentricity ends and my choice is flavorful.
I choose you and you are not an eclectic choice.
You are the sense in my senseless choosing, the centre of the fractal whose patterns are too convoluted
You tie me all together in a nice, neat bow and here I am
Standing on a mound 5/2 of a year thick.
Jared Eli May 2014
My life is filled with half-finished sentences
Letters I wish I'd written
Letters I wish I hadn't
Letters unfinished, like the sentences
And as the items stack up
Without the finality they require
They beg me to finish them
With a pleading nothing else can replicate
The pleading of a thousand voices
Never fully formed
And perhaps if I believed that
If I believed that everything I never finished
Were half-formed fetuses
Sitting in the basement
In jars of formaldehyde
Their tortured faces preserved
As their tiny imperceptible hands
Beat the glass perpetually
Perhaps if I believed that the rows and rows
Of jars were pleading with me to finish
It might be that I would
And the voices would slowly disappear
Until the basement was empty
And all of my sentences
Ended.
Jared Eli Dec 2013
They say when water drops hit your head
They help to inspire thoughts
I suppose that's why
When I took a shower
I found myself thinking about her
About how she makes me feel
I stood there, letting
The steaming drops
That had once been the tears of clouds
Bring me back to such great heights
To every cliché that falls under the category
Of that one, single deadly word
The balloon inflates
I fly away
And I'm trying to convey the feeling
By making senseless analogies
About the barter system

"Imagine a time before we got rid of
The barter system
Imagine the biggest herd
Of livestock
Every single cow in the world
All compiled together
Imagine all those potential burgers
And the sheer size of
That herd
And that is about a fraction
Of what I feel"

The Brother's Grimm had a statement
About how much infinity is
They spoke of an enormous mountain
Made entirely of glass
And that every hundred years
A hummingbird would
Sharpen its beak
Against the mountain
And when the mountain had finally
Been whittled away to nothing
The first second in infinity
Had passed

If I could make an analogy
Equivocal to that
To describe how she makes me feel
I would
The closest I got was the cows

I can't aim when I kiss her
And I can't stop smiling
For very long
And I can't help giggling
When she raises her eyebrows
In that adorable way of hers

I used to be satisfied
With not feeling terrible
My scale of happiness
Stopped at ten
And ten was labeled
"Not terrible"
But now, I realize
That there is a whole universe
Of happiness
Beyond ten

It's like being shown
How to fly
You never believe it until it's happening
And your arms are outspread
And behind them, sprouted from your shoulders
Are your wings, pumping away
Pushing the air back toward Earth
Pummeling gravity in a defiance
That only flying can

And it doesn't matter about the end
If it ends well, if it ends terribly
It doesn't matter
Because I have been shown
The other side of
"Not terrible"
I have something, if nothing else
To believe
A big scary word
A big cliché
A belief worthy of Westley
Is worthy of me
Because she. . .
She is worth being treated
Like Buttercup

The one phrase that broke my heart
Could very well break it again
But if it does, I can always mend it
"I can live without love"
It gets me every time
But I can stitch every cut
Can overlook every scar
That shows up on my heart
Suture self, and I can

She has lifted me up to such great heights
And I'll inadvertently do what Billy Joel says
And tell her about it
Because the least I can do
For the woman who has opened my eyes
Has enlarged my heart
Has befuddled my mind
Has ******* my tongue
Is let her know
Just how spectacular she makes me feel

The steam continues
Long after the drops are gone
And lingering with the steam
Is a giant smile
The like of which
Only she can bring
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKAPXfYSHxw
Jared Eli Dec 2013
I've never collected trading cards
Though I once collected stamps
Until one day
The catalogue stopped
Sending them

I never followed the
Dewey Decimal System
In any place other than
The library
Where I spent my
Childhood days
Falsely convinced that the building
Was at least a block
Big

I've never been patient
For anything but a doctor
Though I once waited
Ten minutes
For the bus
And only got up to pace
Twice

But with her, I find myself
Collecting memories
Of snapshots I've taken
In my mind

Of her fingers
Tracing my face
And holding my hand
Gently
Because I'm never sure
How confident I should be
When holding her hand

Of her lips
As she talks
About things that
Excite her
And I watch them
Hearing her excitement
And wanting to kiss her

Of her teeth
As they are revealed
When she smiles
When she speaks
And as they bite me
I want to make her smile
When the world goes
Boom

Of her eyes
So beautiful
Framed by glasses
Or frameless
And looking
Up, around, at me
Displaying her emotions
And other
Evasive thoughts
And I can't help wondering
What runs through her mind
But it could be
The same that runs through mine:
Unfiltered bliss

Of her hair
The way it tangles so
Easily
The way it reflects
Her and matches her
And how the first time
We went bowling
I used it as a blindfold
So she would be surprised
When I
Kissed her

But with her, I find myself organizing
These memories
These thoughts
This unbridled energy
That is the happiness
She brings

The organization reminds me
Of a library
Or the TARDIS
Because in here with the memories
It seems bigger
And I might be a madman
"But it just may be a lunatic
You're looking for"

But with her, I find myself patient
I can wait
Steeping in happiness
Like oolong in a clay ***
Getting stronger and stronger
The longer away I am
I can grab my
Bag of memory
And every moment with her
Builds my supply

Like nothing could get me down
Not now
Not for the predicted future
And sure Chaos
Is hard to predict
But **** patterns, I'm making a beeline
For her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTF6nGc9Omw
Jared Eli Dec 2012
I was drowning in an ice-cold feeling
Trying to think; my mind was reeling
What was happening? I didn't know
I was pulled through with the flow
I heard nothing but my own heartbeat
Keeping time with my trudging feet
Where was I going? Time would tell
As I headed toward the dull, tolling bell
The time was night, the hour late
What end in store? What was my fate?
I didn't know, nor did I care
The wind cut through me, tossed my hair
Nothing made sense, but nothing really tried
It seemed as though meaning had fallen and died
I was peering through the world's facade
Seeing patterns like a god
And suddenly, it all made sense!
I was Past through Future: every tense!
Nothing more could be defined, nothing more to reason
And now that I was one with all, I settled in my favorite season
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Drops of rain like acid fall
Upon the stupid child
Whose head averted from the call
Of mother hears no sound

The drops continue, falling fast
Still stupid child sits
And the marks erosion made will last
The child's lit eyes fade
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Gotta get out
Of my sock drawer
And into the hats
Cause that's how you get
A head
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Let's smirk at this farce
We know the whole act
We've done this so long
All the moves are a dance

We two stand alone
Performing for none
The moon overhead
Lights the stage underfoot

Standing beside you
I feel complete
We both know I'm broken
But here I can fake it

No one but us
Knows what this is
It's not quite real
And not quite... not
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Bowie was right
I have to put out the raging inferno
That is self-doubt
With the gasoline
That is apathy
And as the flames climbed high into the night, to light the sacrificial rite...
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I want to be that firework
Like, in your face showing Gandalf's work
Up and at 'em flying high
On my suicide run into the sky
Jared Eli Apr 2013
Little Florence, nightingale,
Spread your wings and let me see
How you float above the sea
On your handcrafted, flight-sustaining
Self-containing
Instruments
Of self-inflicted repression.
Let me see you fly above,
Wounding all you think you love
With self-obsessed dependency
The need to be
Protector with your poisoned shield
Of selfish "good intentions."
Little Florence, little bird,
Though you think my words absurd,
Spread your wings and show to me
All you wished and hoped I'd be
When you shattered both my legs
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Fly close, hummingbird
Let me see your wings
Tell me of your food of choice
Tell me of sweet things

Fly low, hummingbird
For if you fly too high
Your wings of waxy origin
Bequeathed thee might make you die

Fly round, hummingbird
Please circle round my head
And only land upon my shoulder
If I'm soon to be dead

So fly close, hummingbird
Let me see your wings
And tell me all your secrets
So I may join the cloudy kings
Jared Eli Aug 2013
Follow my steps when I'm leading the way
If you linger too long they'll fade and decay
For as snow covers ground on the forest terrain
So shall my feet be washed out by the rain
If following closely then you shall receive
New things to ponder, more to believe
But if you aren't hasty and stay far behind
The places will soon disappear from your mind
And there you will stay, neither here nor there
Alone with the worry, apart from the care
Jared Eli Oct 2016
Just like The Narrator I seem to be
An emotional tourist
Sampling now what I once brewed
Unfamiliar with feelings which made me who I am
Suddenly aware of feelings which made me who I am
Horrified and excited and empowered and hopeful about who I was and will be and might be still
I enjoy who I am now, but some of the old returns sometimes
Catching me off-guard
Making me stumble
Tripping my feet on the grin that is the rug
Falling into the creases of a frown
Yet I emerge as Birbiglia
Hands held high
I love you and I don't mean to slip
I hate to slip
We aren't ice skating anymore, but please still hold my hand
We aren't in band camp anymore, but please still ask me to ask you out
We aren't in high school anymore, but please don't forget about me
We aren't what we used to be, but please remember that you used to love me and you still do
Please remember that I used to love you and I still do
Remember that I'll love you for as long as forever, and even longer
For as long as forever and longer I'll stay by your side
Through the **** and the swell
Through the longest of darks and the shortest of lights
Through the ugliest and the prettiest
Through it all
I want to be the one who grows old with you, our faces blending into one amorphous mass of fleshy wrinkles as we fade into that eternal sunset
I want to hold you as my arms fail me and my lungs collapse under the weight of a thought formed as word
I want to die to the sound of your breath with mine
I want you for eternity
I want to be yours for eternity
I ache for you
And my emotional tourism seems to have given me a ticket
To the old me
The me of before
The me of before who loved you but was too stupid to know it
I love you
I'm smart enough to know it now
I always have loved you
We're smart enough to know that now
And I believe in us
I love us
For as long as forever and longer
Jared Eli Nov 2013
It's one of those days when the deep dark seeps in
And closes my eyes to the world
The change in my corneas affect the whole image
I'm seeing things I ought never see
Not when I'm alone like this
The deep dark nothing crawls on my face
And takes giant bites of my residual self-image
Until I remember nothing of who I was
I am erased completely and I do not know
Whether to thank or curse this changer of me
Jared Eli Dec 2012
"Ouch!" said the boy as the red started flowing
From the tip of his finger that through glove was showing
His finger found mouth, which ****** out the blood
Wrapping 'round digit and cloth and cold mud
He glanced side to side to see if they saw
But the people, like streets, would come out with the thaw
The redness still flowed and it dripped in the snow
The boy didn't care; he knew just where to go
He tugged at his pants and fixed his torn hat
His jacket surrounded like skin on stray cat
The footsteps he took were with strength and conviction
Like the master of dungeons in his favorite fiction
He went toward the beacon: The trashcan on fire
His savior would be there by bright, burning, pyre
He looked 'round the checkpoint, but failed to find
The man who would always give peace to the mind
Others were there; they were kin of his kin
The men with hair matted and open-scabbed skin
But the man who would help him, the man who had cared
His father, was absent, and the boy was now scared
His finger, still bleeding, was numb with the cold
The boy looked around for the man who would hold
A man saw the boy, and gave a half-hearted shout
Boy eagerly waited for man to come out
The little crowd parted, and his father appeared
He looked a bit different, maybe it was the beard?
Before it was long, like an overgrown lawn
Today he had **** whacked, and the face-rug was gone
The man looked at boy, at finger with red
He tutted and clasped a bare hand to his head
Man reached into pocket and pulled out a band-aid
Boy peeled his glove back to receive the hand-aid
The man covered cut and pulled the boy close
This hug was his medicine; the desired dose
The man took boy's hand and led him away
From the fire in trashcan; he said they couldn't stay
The man told the boy, "Guess what I've got?
I've got us a room! And we've both got a cot!"
Son looked to Father; he'd really come through
And they walked off in the light of the love beaming true
Jared Eli Jun 2013
I don't know you and you don't know me
And maybe that's how it's meant to be
Because when I knew you
It seemed as though there was something to do
But now that we're strangers, it seems that we're free
I from you and you from me
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I'm fresh out of material so I guess I'll copy me
Pull out that notebook paper and begin a parody
I'v got to start with something both satiric and so nice
Like a fresh-cut rose
That only grows
In the flowerbed of our hearts

Immature ramblings from an unsecured mind
Rolling on waves of emotion like a boat of some kind
I'm so simple to copy, yet an imitation of this crap
These rhymes are ****
And just won't quit
To disappoint the audience, all
Jared Eli Dec 2012
The glass felt cool against her cheek
And she wondered when the day would end
The train was moving, racing away
But she was not gone
No, she was not gone

She closed her eyes, shut out the world
They pushed back in with vengeance
And she could not leave them behind
They stayed on her like an overcoat
And they dragged her to her knees

Crying now, she tries to think of
Happy thoughts. None will come
Her red balloon has popped
She hated the thing
She hated the world

They gave her problems and pain
More than she wanted
More than she needed
They assaulted and drugged her
With their words and sights and sounds

She opened her eyes
The world was still there
She blinked and tried to disappear
But she was not gone
No, she was not gone
Jared Eli Mar 2014
Hello world, did you miss me?
I am alive again.
Jared Eli Aug 2013
Goodnight cruel world
Goodnight, goodnight
Sometimes I'd like it if we didn't fight
Maybe you could agree and we'd both be right
But since you insist on this endless plight
Goodnight cruel world
Goodnight, goodnight
Jared Eli Dec 2013
Pinned down in a picture book
When all I wanted was to touch the sky
With my soft, soft wings
But you knew best, didn't you?
Keep me locked away
Like the protector you claim to be
I am fading, and you sit
With nightstick and coffee
Proud of the job you did
Protecting me
Jared Eli Jun 2018
It’s been half-past Forgetting You
And this broken watch goes ticking
A time bomb of its own and now
I’m drinking by myself
I’m drinking by myself

For [x] years now I’ve gotten on
Moving forward like you’re doing
A conveyor belt of feelings
I’m thinking to myself

I’m thinking that
     As we get old and moldy
     Will the rocks remember us?
     Or will they roll forgetting
     That these naked apes once        
      loved?

A quarter ‘til Find Someone New
And this half-wound watch needs fixing
Keeping time all by its lonesome
I’m thinking to myself

I’m thinking that
     As time turns like a turret
     Will it cast its gaze on me?
     Am I small as god is small
     Ubiquitous, forsaken?

Can’t you see? (I’m brand new)
Can’t you see? (I’m reformed)
Can’t you see?
Can’t you see?

I’m thinking that
     As I grow old and ugly
     Will this rock still be my friend?
     Dust and ash and rib I am
     But who will remember that?

I’m thinking that
     As time becomes my comrade
     Will we fight a wicked fight?
     Or will we become traitors
     And destroy ourselves once more?

And it’s half-past Forgetting You
It’s a quarter ‘til Find Someone New
This broken watch keeps ticking on
But I, I have turned off.
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I am not an artist
Nor a house
Nor a saint
Nor the devil
Nor a god
Nor an author
Nor a good lover, advisor, role model or idol

I am what is left over after a large meal:
Soiled plates and napkins
And a steaming pile of ****
Jared Eli Apr 2018
Tell me that you're dying
And I'll say it must be Tuesday
You've got a pocket full of holes again

And there's nothing in the sunset
Makes me think that I'd believe you
When you're walking 'cross my path again

Hey, it's been ages since we've talked, you know
Lives have started, stopped, and dawdled on
And I'm not the one you met so long ago
I'm not the one you lost or need
So hello, familiar stranger
Hello, hello, goodbye

You tell me that you miss me
And I say, "grab a phone book,
find the number that I never, ever changed"

You say, "absence makes you fonder"
But I've been absent most my life
And there's nothing from that that I've ever gained

It's been ages since we've talked, you know
Lives have started, stopped, and carried on
And I'm not the one you loved so long ago
I'm not the one you lost or need
So goodbye familiar stranger
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Jared Eli Nov 2012
He wanted to become something, but he did not want that something to define him. He wanted to be a part of the picture, but not to be titled or signed. He wanted to belong, but he did not want his belonging to override the fact that it was in fact he, who had come to belong, not a nameless member of the group. He wanted to be found in a dictionary for those who sought him, but undefined like the ***** of a line. He wanted to be stationary and mobile consecutively. In short, he wanted the impossible, but then, didn't he just want something worthwhile? And isn't it true that nothing is impossible?
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I was going to stick a metal rod in the outlet today
I was already vivid with the excitement
Of taking serious health risks
Imagine, just imagine what it would feel like
O, what sweet ecstasy the pain would be
Shocking, and locking my arm in place
No escape from the unconverted
Power

I was so tempted to put the metal in the outlet
I didn't care what would happen
If it killed me, so what?
If it put me in the hospital, so what?
If it gave me super powers, so what?
The thrill and excitement built up within me
And like a dam about to burst, someone said No
Someone said no no no no no...
The voice in my head chimed in
The timid little good-doer in my brain
Said No

But my arm reached forward
The metal grasped tight between my bare fingers
Grown numb from holding on so tightly
The outlet was near
close close close
My smile was the widest it's been in years
My heart was racing faster than seeing Emma Stone
And then the timid voice came back
Stop being an idiot, Jared. Go back to rehearsing the play.
I threw the metal rod across the stage
And got up
And delivered my lines
Every once in a while I'm really stupid. Most times, I'm just normal stupid.
Jared Eli Feb 2015
I am faceless in my uniformity
I am a cog
I am replaceable but my position is not
I am forgettable but my position is not
I am unimportant but my position is not
I am the meeting of two planes of
Brushed brass
Bringing order out of chaos
And chaos comes from order
For it is inescapable
I am a cog
Machine-pressed to fit a form
Formed to fall into place
And wrap around your wrist
Tick-tock, tick-tock
I am counting away the seconds
We have together and I
I am a cog
Faceless in my uniformity. . .
Jared Eli Jan 2013
I am a leaf gently floating, gently falling
Down to the earth where my brethren lie
Upon the dried corpses of our kin
Long since passed, like seasons they go
And yet we mourn them all silently
Without ceremony or processions
Of remembrance

I am a leaf gone to join my fallen brothers
On the battle field that is our life
Yet I do not weep for myself at all
This fall is the greatest thrill of my life
It seems to last forever and a day
Soon I, too, will be another corpse on the ground
Swept away gently by the breath of nature
Jared Eli Apr 2014
If there were salt crystals
To represent every single
Thing I didn't know,
And if I placed those crystals
In the sea
There would no longer be
Any oceans
And the marine life would die
The weather would
Change
All too suddenly
And the temperature would
Too
All life on Earth
Would most likely die
Because
Ignorance kills
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I am not a poet
Though I aspire to be such
And as I try to be the best
I don't accomplish much

I am not a poet
Nor was I ever one
And the best I've ever accomplished
Is to let this work be done
Jared Eli Apr 2013
I asked someone to marry me
And though I'd never say who
I don't even know what she does for a living
Or the exact shade of her eyes
'Twas part jest, and part stupidity
But it was funny at the time
I asked her, and who's to know what she thinks?
Dialing the police... "Officer I have a cyber-stalker"
This was a fairly bad idea
Maybe next time, I'll meet her first
And then propose
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I just bribed the ferryman, oh yes, I bribed him well
Don't matter how much mischief because we're both headed to hell
I bribed the man to take some time to tell me of his life
He told me of the way he takes the coinage for his wife
He told me he writes poetry, but only in his head
He wrote some lovely lullabies (and love songs for the dead)
The man is quite a cook and made some killer Wonton soup
Then he told me of his wish to make a knit and crochet group
The ferryman that took the ****** seemed like a really awesome guy
And it almost made it worth it that I had had to die
Jared Eli Sep 2013
What do you call people endearingly?
Sugar
Honey
Dumpling
Lemon Meringue Pie
I get hungry thinking of things to call her
Love
Babe
Baby
Darling
Am I being old-fashioned? Do people still speak this way?
My dark angel
Mon cherie
Deliciae meae
Dove
Doll
What to say?
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I'd draw you a picture
If my sketches weren't ****
I'd write you a poem
If the rhymes would just stick
I'd give you a hug
But you say mine are awkward
So here're books and a card
From Urban Outfitters
My bestfriend's birthday is two days from now and I wanted to get her a music box... But they all seemed too fiance-ish... And I had no back-up gift planned :/
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I despise haikus
With all the passion present
(Except the good ones)
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I discovered the reason why I deprive my mind of rest
It's so that the thoughts I never would think
On a normal, sleep-filled day
Will come to mind

Though it's pure torture to have my mind on until the young hours of morning
It's what I must do if I'm to dissect the structure
Of who I am and learn
Where I am going
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I'm going to stop pretending
That we had something in common
Other than music
And the pool
And our mutual gay friend
Who may one day be
The ruler of the carne asadas
You were my escape once
But no more
I used you, and I admit that
I'm so sorry I did
But I never lied to you
I wanted you near me
I still do
That's what's going to make this
So much more difficult on us
I just want to backtrack
To you and I
Being bus buddies
And hanging out
Before we had the added stress
Of dating
And kissing
Or in my case, attempting to kiss
And failing miserably
And hoping your parents would
Open the door to interrupt us
I want the us before all that
The us before the us
When it was just you and I
Separate but together
Instead of
Together but separate
I'm trying to break up with my girlfriend and achieve the nearly impossible and keep her as a friend. Suggestions anyone?
Jared Eli Sep 2013
It's not that I'm trying
To be flashy
and show off
that I have a few dollars

It's not that I'm trying
to appear better
than anyone else
by not asking for favors

It's just that I hate
being in debt
to anyone
in any way
and I want people to know
That I don't give a **** about money
You don't owe me
anything
unless I casually remind you
But I generally won't

So stop trying to pay me back
please
on a totally unrelated note, I really need a job 'cause I only have three hundred to my name and Festivus and Christmas and people's birthdays are coming up so I'll end up being broke before New Year's (my favorite holiday, by the by)
Anybody know of any jobs that consist of basic physical manual labor and stuff? (jk xD )
Jared Eli Aug 2013
What good is the truth and the rawness of soul when the deaf one's the one that I'm telling?
I'm speaking now, not for you, not for them, but for me
I want to end the short circuit that has trained my mind to be
Malfunctioning from the start of thoughts, and breaking at the fore
Of every single thing I've thought, as it happens, there's a score
Of thoughts befitting every kind of fiend that walks this earth
And yes, there are those other thoughts, as pure as babe at birth
But negative will always win while stroking little bearded chin he gently breaks the chords within
I can no longer see the light the dark will outshine every bright beginning to tell me what's right
It doesn't matter, nothing matters
Reality, the choice I once had
Stolen
Now I'm confined with the rest of my thoughts
To battle it out in my skull
Will I win?
Who knows? Who cares?
If I had the answer, I wouldn't be concerned
Who poured all the chocolate syrup on the floor?
There isn't any more
My chocolate syrup, rich and dark
Like blood to my lips, life-fufilling
Never spilling
There isn't any more

Let me smile for one last time
Before I take the fatal climb
Up the side of this house
Twenty stories won't **** a mouse
Says physics, but it's alright 'cause
A mouse I fortunately never was
Jared Eli Nov 2013
If wishes were fishes, I'd have a whole net
Of fanciful things that I'd likely not get
If wishes were stars, when I'd look in the sky
I'd see thousands of you, all shooting by
If wishes were teardrops, then each night in bed
I'd have streams of you gathered by my head
If wishes were rainbows, then after each rain
The image of you the sky would retain
If wishes were fishes, then by god I'll try hard
To have you as mine, to love, hold, and guard
Jared Eli Jun 2013
These gaping hole don't hurt no more
I don't even feel the pain
I numbed it with some bottled scotch
They don't hurt no more

I told the doc to take them out and lo
He did as he said, took them out of my head!
I don't feel 'em no more
The doc said he'd take them out like a cork

I don't remember what was that made them hurt so
Probly the **** grenade and dirt and metal
Maybe I got hit? But Laud, son, I don't feel a thing
Not anywhere in my head, or anywhere else

I don't hurt no more, and I gave my eyes to see the end of this war
'Corse none them guys know that I did
But they'll know when I go that I'm letting them know
It's time to put down the gun and drink up
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I have a voice behind this tongue
But it's shy and clumsy
My voice will hide behind my tongue
And trip itself to bits

My voice it rides the waves of rhythm
Gently up, and coasts back down
But when my tongue breaks waves of rhythm
My voice hides in the sand

My voice is flawed but perfect, when
My tongue gets in the way
And though I know what to say then
My voice just cannot say

My tongue, my enemy, my slippery friend
That causes my speech to basically end
On the most awkward of notes, and that's how he wins
When I cannot speak, he just sits back and grins
Jared Eli Apr 2013
I just called to say hello
(My original phrase was 'I love you')
I hear you're doing great
You went on a date
With a guy I know
So I think that's dandy
And I'm saying so
(We both know I don't mean it)
You're moving on
(I can barely rise in the morning)
And that's just exactly what you should do
(You should come back to me)
Maybe I'm going out too
(You are my only love)
And maybe I'm moving on
But nobody told you
Because they all got together
And decided not to
(I need you)
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Sometimes I read things that make me tear up
Or see things that make me sad
Or hear bits of conversations
Half-chewed sentences thrown from over-thought
Tragedies
That make me just want to take people into my arms
And hold them close forever
And be their scapegoat
Their Atlas
Their lighthouse
Their pin drop of light in the sky of darkness and despair
And false hope
"Hit me" I want to say
"Take the pain and the hate out on me
I can take it."
I want to say this, even if I can't
I want them to feel love
The love that I feel for them
The love they think does not exist for them
That exists in my heart
"Ask me if I love you" I want to challenge
"Ask me if I care. Don't even think of ending
Don't think of taking your life
Who will I give hugs to then?"
I want to be everywhere at once
Hugging all the hurt people I don't know
Making them feel a little better
Even when the universe takes a **** on their life
I want to be their Batman
Anonymous and protective
I just want them to know; the hurt
And the broken
The sad
And the ones with beauty they can't see
The angry
And those who feel unwanted
I want them to know
That my hugs are free
And I mean every hug I ever give
Even if the recipient doesn't know it
I mean every single one
Virtual hug
Feel better please
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rnQM5hfWqI
Jared Eli Jan 2017
I don't remember what it was to be the old version of myself
And I count that as a victory
The first death I am responsible for
Quite possibly the last

It's a lot like living somewhere as a baby
And moving at an age too young to remember what the color the walls were in your old room
But you have pictures
You know you lived in a bright orange room
But you can't feel it
You can't go back to living in that room as a child because you are not a child and that is not your room
You are someone new
And the room is somewhere new
That is what it is to **** the old version of yourself

I don't know if I will **** again
I suppose none but killers know if they will **** again
I will **** only in defense of self
Self-defense will hold up in this court of law
My law
My court
My self
Judge, jury, killer, killed

I've never been one for goodbyes
I suspect I never will be
There is no need to say goodbye to something that is already gone
He was already gone, that old self
He received no 21 gun salute
He was no hero
This new self could receive such a salute
But I hope he doesn't need one
I'm fond of this new self
I don't want to have to **** him
I don't think I'll have to

But don't think I won't
Don't think I can't
Because I've done it before and I'll do it again
If I have to
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Not saying I wait for you, though it's the truth
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Artemis, if only you knew
How you lift my heart
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Here's some clay I molded well
And a note that's straight from hell
It just says "Live" and when I drop it
This gollum will wake up

He'll follow close my every order
Never teeter on the border
Of sentient thought because
I own him and he doesn't think at all

This gollum'll do the ***** deeds
Like taking out the ***** weeds
That filter through society
The people-poison of the earth

He'll invade your home as you did my mind
He'll make you leave the world behind
He'll take your head into his hand
And smash it down unto the land
As if to say, "Please taste the earth,
Substance of your death and of my birth"
The cyclic theory present now
He'll show you how to die

And when he's done and you are through
When my gollum's finished you
He'll emotionlessly tear through your guts
And with them, drag you through the street

Sleep tight, doll
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