Jared Eli

Jared Eli Oct 2017

I am a guerilla warfare tactician in a state of fight and flight;
I drop words and phrases like cheap explosives
And I head for the hills when the chickens come home to roost.
99% of all things I have ever said are extinct in my memory,
Having died there almost immediately after their conception.
I am a walking mausoleum of thought, well populated,
And reeking of neglect.
I try to remember, but for the life of me, I can't.
I've forgotten what I meant to say, or if I've said it already.

Just wait, because someday I'll be old and feeble-minded

And as I sit and stare in a hospital chair
Catching the eye of the nurse walking by
I'll wonder, "Do I know her? Is she my daughter?"
And I'll pretend 'til the end I've the answer

Jared Eli Oct 2017

Doing time

I've had a long stint on this planet
They sentenced me to life
But the charges were for things that happened
Long before I was born
Tell me if that's fair

Jared Eli Sep 2017

Untitled

Here's to the lovers we've known in the past
And here's to the friends whom we thought we'd make last
Here's to those in both camps, and here's to those in none
Here's to the words said that can't be undone

Jared Eli Sep 2017

A double, on the rocks

I think too much; I'm a Thoughtaholic
Got a chronic case and the addiction's got me good
An acquired taste
But isn't everything?
I'm thinking to remember to forget but I don't
Circles unto circles and I've wound myself up
I wind up here: thinking again
I'm thinking of everything and nothing
Racing down the track to my future and demise
What do I see?
It's too fast, but I've thought it
I've thought it and the thinking will catch up with me
My liver will shut down
I guess my metaphor will shut down long before that
But I'm thinking myself to death
Like an old alchie
I'm thinking alone again
Thinking a double, on the rocks

Jared Eli Aug 2017

I think I'm okay

I'm writing and she's sleeping next to me and I'm thinking of who I used to be
Objectively, but there's still a hint of moisture in my eyes.
I don't know how I changed, if not for her.
Am I running away from my problems? Becoming a self-effacing mess of locked-up doors and staunch denial? Am I still depressed and cynical and misanthropic and sadistic and manipulative and EVIL?
Am I living a lie of happiness?
I don't think I am.
She makes me happy.
But does that mean I can never be happy on my own? Does that mean I'm broken and overly dependent, or does it just mean that she's my other half, filling the cracks where logic fails and emotion escapes its jail to **** with my mind? If she's my other half, I don't need to worry about being happy on my own, right?
She's my other half.
I'm only complete with her.
But is that how it ought to be?
Yeah. I think so.
I think I'm okay
I think I'm okay
I think I'm okay

Jared Eli Aug 2017

My baby and me

My baby and me, we dream together
Of life beyond the green
We dream without the holds of now
We dream of life unseen
My darling and I prepare for life
That eventually will be
A life together, a life forever
With just my baby and me

Jared Eli Feb 2017

Untitled

I know not where my path may lead
Nor why it may lead there
I do know that along this path
I'll have to cut my hair

So here's the knife, Delilah
Make my 'do less-than-long
But give me back my blade for when
I'm no longer this strong

For then I'll call upon the gods
Above, below, and deep
That their strength may attempt replace
The one I cannot keep

A cut of hand, a mighty yell
Strength and I are fused
And down this path I barrel on
By false love, I'm abused

I know all this, and yet I go
The rest, to me, unknown
And somewhere down the path I trail
I wind up not alone