Right now I am in the land of nowhere
And I need an escape
So let’s see everything
And find our way to the golden state

I’ve travelled city to city
Taking what life had to offer
I’ve fallen behind and stood above
I’ve seen the failure of success

I’m the girl who grabbed every opportunity, but never made her own
Broken from the preacher’s hands
Running from a quiet home
Trying to explore
Choosing the poorer road

But I’m gonna keep on driving to that horizon
Until I find that bridge
Cross over the golden state
Is this, where I finally learn to live?
Everything seems to be easier
Everything is better with you
So come along with me
We’ll make history
Fighting for that golden state of mind

I feel like I’ve been running in circles lately
And I don’t know where to turn
Surrounded by green summers, and orange falls
I need a view, I need to discern

And maybe the scariest thing
Is that I don’t where the sun goes at night
The best thing I can make of this
Is that I can’t go down without a fight

But all I know is that

I can keep on driving toward the horizon
I can go until I find that bridge
Cross over to the golden state
Where I can learn to live
Everything seems to better
Where it would be you and me
Against history
Fighting for that golden state of mind

And maybe my hair will be dyed by the sun
And maybe your smile will never have to fade
And maybe our dreams will finally come true
And maybe we won’t have to fight for the better days

Give me a reason, I’m tired of rhymes
I need to get out of this place
Take me somewhere, let me feel the rain
People should remember this face

That horizon is calling my name
Where that bridge meets our new life
Heading down the interstate
Reaching to the golden state
Is this where we win the fight?
Everything is better here
Life is golden when I’m with you
You and me
To everyone else we’re history
I’ve reached that golden state of mind

Today's Tuesday and it's the 31st of December 2013;
A year's end just to open a path for a new beginning.
A eternal cycle of hope given to those with shattered dreams;
A resolution, a choice to be someone new with a passion that gleams.

With the thoughts of the past were we must left behind for history to write;
Now it's the time to alter your fate just do your best to make things right.
For never a moment God forget to look after us, guide us, give us signs to follow;
It's us that sometimes think we are all alone in the dark with only misery and a bitter pills to swallow.

So stand proud and tall never let the weights of negativity drags you down;
Crawl if you must first, to walk then run serve failure as your training ground.
Build a fortress with your bag of hammers, don't let it consume you and start being a whiner;
With a will to change no matter what cards you are dealt with, for once make yourself a winner.

Scream out your name to the night with fireworks roaring;
Held your fists up high like you are holding something burning.
That is the passion, looking forward a brand new year;
A new dawn that for once you will never shed again painful tears.

And here I bid you a happy new year by all means have fun and enjoy;
Seize the day!Have a blast make some noise raise your morale let your passion boil.
Feast and bond with your families and friends just let the good times roll;
For this coming year changes will surely be there, so start making a way to make yourselves whole.

i am getting bored
using the same old words
the same old cords
the same old lines
time after time time time

is it such a crime
to always want to find
in this demented mind of mine
the perfect rhyme of rhymes

i maneuver it
so it all will fit
onto the page i've writ
for the perfect bit
perhaps a major hit

but i still am bored
with the heights i've soared
is someone keeping score
in this poetic realm
white knuckles at the helm

i steer off  course
as my one recourse
to get me through all this
goodbye with a kiss
back to poetic bliss

There was a time in my life
when I wasn't such a rigid realist
Before experience told me the truth
And the pain of life took hold
The bliss of ignorance
It once embraced me too
Dreams were fantastic then
Daydreams and love, it was all fun;
wonderful and intriguing
The excitement of life
captivating my very being
I was exhilarated!
Motivated into shape!
Loving my life & myself
it was easy then
but that was before
the experience set in

I can't guess what's outside my mind
I even don't know what's inside
there's only words that I can find
still trapped beyond their wrong and right

I tried to analyze what's me
and I did find I am not there
'though I'm still trying hard to see
my self gets lost within my stare

it seems this is the final line
there is no answer from beyond
my mind plays tricks on my weird mind
so I can't tell what i have found

I sense a gap yawning at me
extremely bored by useless tries
I can't control what I can't see
and what I see still blinds my eye

this gap is wide and it is deep
I would get lost if I should try
to cross it with a logic heap
since every meaning is a lie

hope I'm not ****** to realize
that there's no way for going on
that going further won't be wise
may cause confusing right with wrong

I blame my helplessly forced thoughts
for showing what I can't deny
although I know it's them of course
that hide the world from my fooled eye

I can't guess what's outside my mind
and don't know what is all inside
there's only words newly combined
to live on beyond wrong and right

the gap is deep and it is wide
I'm lost no matter if I try
to reach out for the other side
since every reason is a lie

but writing on to change what's true
may lift me to a novel top
a strange one with a wider view
for getting closer there's no stop

'though gaps restrain what I can do
but there's no way for giving up
lost, yearning for a self that's true
maybe I already went one step
.....................................................too far
........................................................... and
...........................................................
....­....................................................... fell
...........................................................
....­.......................................................
.........­.................................................. into
...........................................................
....­.......................................................
.........­..................................................
..............­............................................. the
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....­.......................................................
.........­..................................................
..............­.............................................
...................­........................................ gap

Whats done is done whats gone is gone. Lifes most valuable lesson is moving on. If it was meant to be they would have stayed. They broke your heart and you got played. From the start they said they would be there, but where are they now? Where? They walked away like it was a game. This isn't a sport there is no hall of fame. Just pain. Your hearts now broke its shattered. They walked unto you, spoke and you became flattered. You wanted it to work, they didn't. One that chapter is closed you can't erase the words that have been written. It was a lesson, no wait a test. Could you handle what life gave you all day before you rest? Could you stop the bleeding and pick up the pieces as your leaving? Trying to fix your heart so afraid it will get torn apart. Wanting to get close to someone but your scared. You know what could happen is what you most fear. Someday we will all find that special someone who we care for a lot. Break us down they shall not. The type you chase is the type you choose. Just remember if its not meant to be, you will lose. I can't tell you who to love, that's up to you. But for once chase someone new. Now that its over and you got hurt. Promise me please you won't chase the first flirt.

This boy was one of a kind. I knew he was the love of my life, but I was afraid I wasn’t the only one sharing the same belief. As I said, he was the one of a kind, special in the natural and comforting way he made You feel around him. He was too humble for the talents he had and way too smart for the beauty he owned.
 I couldn’t always guess what he felt when he played his music, but I could always know when he felt sad. He didn’t talk much, but he enjoyed writing little stories about other people, capturing them as they were. I believe he knew much more about them then they knew about themselves.
I didn’t always know what his purpose was, but somehow he was amazingly sure in his uncertainty. I wished I could see the world with his eyes, I wished I could look to the people as he did. In his eyes You could see the reflection of the world’s loveliness. He always found a way to surprise me, either with the things he knew, could or have done. He knew exactly how to touch your soul, or at least he knew how to reach mine, and as he was the only person able to do this I knew that he was special and made for the greatest things.

Sometimes I feared I loved him enough to die of pain of belonging.  I couldn’t stand the thought of life without him or of life with different him.  I couldn’t stand the pain of being close enough to feel the envy of losing him for something else and I knew I simply couldn’t live without that pain either. But I was happy though.  I was extremely fortunate as he loved me and I loved him back like nothing else in the world. I wouldn’t trade any moment with me lying on his chest, kissing my forehead, touching my hair for anything in the world. He was simply the sweetest thing and the aim of all my actions.
I wished for the long and happy life with him as I was sure everything would turn out to be wonderful in his hands. He was the first boy who made me dream of getting married and I loved him dearly, praying to God every single night to keep him from danger and misfortune.

Still I lost him.

I have felt I was going crazy in madness of late hour, noises and images were blurred, my actions automatic. I was living, but I wasn’t alive, all my will was gone, his absence was unbearable. Nothing was ever going to make any sense. I was lost without him for ever.