there's a peace of mind
I'm on a journey for
scavaging and hunting for
what belongs to me
my sanity
I can't let you have
my love
and turn it into profanity
a curse
a joke
my deep passion soaking into your hands
as I watch you carelessly play in the dirt
here it comes
the hurt
races against joy
but insanity has come to steal the race
and the crowd makes the noise
I feel so out of place
I fell so deep into you, I no longer felt the light
then my skin became cold
following my emotions, or lack there of
my soul began to decipher
what feeds and what destroys

I am now waiting for my mind to fall in line
to find peace
my thoughts to find ease
finding a way to re-write our history
your name rings the very bell that controls my tears
when I close my eyes
I see yours
I repaint your lips and each word spoke
I hate you
then I love you
you watch me entangle with my emotions
you feed my despair
you stir my commotion
I feed you your energy that you allow to be stole
I fed you half of me
there's no way I can be whole
playing this game
your poker face is so perfect
and unphased
while I'm on this trip to neverland
a journey alone I never planned.

I need a peace of mind
a peace of mind I'll give you
you were my sickness
I need to heal you
disinfect the wounds you caused
the ulcers of false hope
the emptiness,
you wasted my time
you misplaced my crown
a blue river I have cried
its time for my smile to return now
....because even if you say it's not over
I know I won't die

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will all the man who will fail me, please stand up.

you will be escorted out of my life.

Searching for the strength
          to write again . .




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©PoeticPat

I dont know if it is the clouds in my head or the souls in my bed

or the tainted pleasures

instead

of pouring
I rather blaze

In place of worry
I rather praise

and pray

that we all find our way

on this cold ground
with this frozen breeze

I don't have parents or

or a grandma to pray for me

so lately my ruthlessness has generously been on display for me
to be able to stand for Him and for myself.

Embedded
Engraved
Tattooed
Enslaved

the flood
the waves

of this static despair

the tears

I can begin to hear them form
I confess my sins to see if the rain would cease to pour

now

I can swim in my tears.
It is my preferred way to drown.

Constant showers
my ocean floors cannot be found

the waves pound
and the sea roars

I pray depression sees my worthlessness and not want me any more

I pray that I find that purpose, that peace, and that sanity, that everyone I see lives for.


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