I
sat and I waited for you
with my skin crawling
many nights I looked into
the mirror
and I didn't recognize her
She was someone new
Someone desperate and broken
into a million pieces
The Culprit Was You
you brought forth misery
wrapped expertly with a
bright red bow
camouflaged and putrid
with your tarnishing love
it was a beautiful trick I must admit
you are quite the magician
you created trust
transformed it to dust
then made it disappear
with the blink of an eye
you forced love to die
with no arrangement of a funeral
I sat and I waited
many nights I contemplated
on ways to make it even
closure is what I needed
but my love for you was too strong
and you made it cry
the mistreatment you delivered
made love die
but my heart still beats
and still I remained
broke, busted, and disgusted
All of my fortitude invested in you
and you imposed it upon me
such potent ammunition in your grasp

you controlled me

to be your slave
while you swam nights in vain
I stayed in and prayed
for direction for protection
I would pray that your heart would fall
into my hands
and God told me to be patient
but
I can't
every moment had to be filled
with you
you are my filling
and I was your crown
pauperized by love's cavity
sleepless nights indulged
by the whispers of my mind
painting sweet stories
covered and blurry
except
my focal point was set on you
my thoughts left me at times
in spite of you

I didn't bother to pursue
how foolish of me
I was stupid
in love with you
meta-morphed to ignorance
in-cognizant of my worth  
I left it at the creek
in my dream
where I sat
in thirst
where I washed my hands
in the glistening water
and laid my worries
in the white snow
but in reality
you know my inner child
only you see my inner core
so tell me how could I
love someone else?
who could ever love me more?
than the man who knows
me.
in
and
out
your the man who accepts me
out
and
in
your the man who adore me
internal
and
skin
consequently
there's no love in me
to love another

again*



                                Copy Right 2014
                                     ©Patty Ann

You hear the vocals of my pores
Calling out for your ecstasy
Baby, will you answer me?
Annihilate my suspire
I'm craving for you to sojourn your lips unto my dermis
Floating in passion, your love takes me higher
With annimalism
Your death grip on my waistline severely quenches my skin*
I feel your thunder storming on my frame
Being pounded by my waves
Of this flash flood you made
I NEED YOU
To come and swim deeply into my ocean
Contain my legs from this uncontrollable wavely motion
Surf my waves at each convulsion
Your breath trickles down my spine
You haven't even reached your peak yet
And I have came here
And
Came
4
Times
This visit, I do not regret
I WANT YOU
To make love to me
Like there is a war outdoors
With nature and valley
A war between temptation and flesh
But wait
Not just yet
Because your cinnamon skin
***** my tongue passionately
Constantly
I melt, into a puddle
Full weight on the floor
That you lick up until  no more
I travel my lips up and down your masculine build
You feel my exhaustion
Invading your spine
Interrupting your concentration
At this hour, in this moment
You are mine
And I am yours
Finally tasting those lips I've always adored
My succulent tongues takes a moment and travel down your chest
Leaving my mist dwelling on your buff
Down to the strong man hood you possess...
You grab my neck
As you explore the soft walls
Of my saturating portal
Your head inclines back in full relieve
As I continually, savagely feast
You then explode in great fury
We collapse as if an earthquake violated our terrain
And then we lay....
But,
This is not the end
Welcome, to foreplay
With gratitude, your excitements hardens
And your eyes paint me, you feel extremely lucky
You begin to fill your lips with thanks
But  NO
Baby don't thank me
Just **** me...




                            Copy Right 2013
                                   ©Patty Ann

Dazed.
The stars never seemed so far away
Lying with hopelessness sleeping next to my pillow
In the arms of seclusion, still I lay
After a long night we formed a *******
No strength to pray
Withing my carapace
I inquire a reason
Of why I'm so numb
Where is my lighter?
Concealing my pain
Where is my grinder?
When life is like a sudden rush of fresh air to
A raging set of flames
Savagely searching for an euphoria
But it's the impossible to maintain
Longing for an escape
Only in sweet serenity
But when 5 fingers deadly hugs your heart
& wrings out your
Innocence, happiness, and tranquility
You are forced to watch them leak
Decrepit
Reaching for a lighter to blaze the leaf
Because in the sober mind
You Are Weak
No that is me.
So I begin to pollute my temple
Taking it all into my bloodstream
With the exhale of a breath
In the mist of a cloud
I release my exhaustion
My emotion and my temper
Enhancing my inner being suddenly,
I know with facts that I am steel
Making it through another dreadful night
My wounds are temporarily healed
But
When there was no soul to console
No arms to hold
No pen to make art
No illumination from the dark
Only the flame that I flick
Which forms so beautifully &
Dances in front of my eyes
Offended that beauty could destroy so ruthlessly
A killer in disguise
Or ruthlessly be destroyed
In this life full of void
Consumed by the misery of all the screams
All the noise
When the Sun's job is done, it hides from the World
Full of hatred and pity
Another night comes
Captive in these four walls
No where to run
Now I'm forced to look at how far I've come
I could have died in insanity
Arson my soul
Plead guilty of ******
A Killer Upfront
If I had not match all those nights with all those blunts


                            Copy Right 2013
                                 ©Patty Ann

There's an elephant in this room, there's no denying that
No allegations, no assumptions
Just here to state the facts
I see all your dirt
And the **** you try to hide
But what I don't see is your respect
Did it die along with your pride?
And the love you say you posses
Or did it get erase along with all the traces of your text?
Yeah, you thought I didn't see all the lies that you succeeded in
And I played it blindly like I reside in Stevie's skin
And what really irritates my soul, is I could've played that role
The difference is I was investing in commitment
While you was the one auditioning
Now aint that bout a *****
Either resistance was too hard
Or even with a straight flush in your hand you were incompetent in playing your cards
February 22
Where were you that night?
I laid peacefully in my bed, eyes closed tightly, thanking God for sending me a wonderful man
Instead of being April's, I was playing your fool
Swimming foolishly and open in your deceitful pool
Drowning
in 12 feet
But I still wouldn't get out if I could
The irony.
Man, I swear your ******* be so good
I respect everyone's privacy
like there's a No Disturb sign on the door
But your cell phone has been ringing vigorously and that
I wont ignore
I gave you your space
You could've freely ran away if you wanted to explore
You give a person enough rope they'll hang themselves
And right now your toes are dangling 57' from the floor
I'd slave to bake your cake.
Let you eat it wholly.
And you still want more!
Selfish
I bet you didn't even think of me as she laid in your bed naked
or if when you slipped on that contraceptive
Emphasis on the IF just in case I stand corrected
The betrayal
The wonders living in my mind roams in a frenzy
In a million years I never suspected you
Faithful is what you pretended to be
And when I bring it unto your attention
You're worse than an evidently guilty man crying innocent
Obviously, you love to play with fire but when I deliver it you can't sustain
That's like constantly running to get an umbrella when you "claim" you love the rain
You can't handle the truth
BE A MAN
every moment its time to defy it you coil
Just face the aftermath with your ten toes planted on the soil
Because every word you deliver, every punch you throw
Will travel through this universe and manifest to your soul
You didn't like that huh?
Your emotions sings that you're ******
Storming out the door like a madman
But where's he going at a time like this?
To get some fresh air?
To **** another *****?
Men offer me pleasures that I happily resist
But now that the truth comes out he can't handle the ****
He wanna throw his hands up and be a little boy
Hell, I might as well go to K-Mart and buy his *** a toy
Or run to Priscilla's and get me one as well
**** being deceived, I'd rather indulge my own pleasure and be by myself
But the way he makes my legs shake
My heart flutter
My soul yearns for more
Makes me reconsider to stay
Did he do it ruthlessly?
Was it a mistake?
I'm all out of thoughts, I don't know *** to think
All this **** is unbearable
I'm going out for a drink...



                          Copy Right 2013
                                ©Patty Ann

It's been eight long years
since God has called you home
He noticed your angel wings and glowing halo
He brought you to where you belong
In a world of divine pure love
A heaven full of God's grace
You reside
Where there is no pain
No sickness
Only joy and peace
Your spirit living abundantly*
Your mind forever at ease
I think about you all the time
Laying and praying for you to come to me in my dreams
So I can see the penetrating beauty of your light and
You can show me the gifts that heaven brings
As I gaze at the mirror
my eyes
my nose
my smile
Are all identical to your bloom
I can vividly hear the music of your voice that echos through the room
The young woman I've become
Is subjected to make you proud
The respect, courtesy, and love I share
In this World, you showed me how
I deserve more than the voids this World posses
Therefore, I remain to seek the Kingdom first
Our Father will provide the rest
Mom
I just want you to know
Words are incompetent in describing how much
I think of you
I love you
I wish you was shoulder length away
When I get weak in my body and mind
I humble myself and I pray
This life here on Earth
I wish you had a chance to explain
I wander in a puzzle
Each day that I face
But I've come a long way
In spirit each day I grow
So I can ascend into heaven
When God calls his church home
This world is full of madness
In confusion I remain
If this stubborn world only knew what
Divine creations we are
We posses to be
We wouldn't live in vain
But this is YOUR day, Beautiful!
When God brought you in this marvelous made world
To explore through his glory until your job was well done
It was completely a honor to have met you  in your lifetime
To have you as my mother
Eight years ago I'd be kissing you until your cheeks color
Red
Now with an open heart I speak towards heaven instead
Happy Birthday Pretty Lady Happy Birthday to you!
Until we meet again Barbara Jedale Bryant
I love &&
I miss you




                                 Copy Right 2013
                                        ©Patty Ann