Last night you asked if I wanted you to stay with me.
I didn’t answer because when you’re around
mud sparkles and the wind sings.
Almost like a Disney movie, but more vibrant.

You draped your arm over my waist
and nuzzled into my shoulder.
I forced my eyes open long after you fell asleep,
so I could memorize the way it felt to be in your arms.
And in the morning, we shared a groggy kiss
before you went to class.

I’m sitting across the table from you.
You’re studying chemistry,
and I’m studying your skin tone.
We’re both honor students, at the top of the class.
You’re writing vigorously on printer paper
that’s covered in equations and chemical structures.
Never even a glance in my direction.
Sleep deprived, the only thing keeping my eyes open
is the feeling of my heart being twisted and torn
from the way every time I walk past you during the day
we make eye contact, I smile, you look away
and keep walking.

You finish for the night and I still have a list of homework.
You pack your books, paper, and pencils into your bag.
A short whispered goodbye to me over your shoulder,
and you walk away, tugging at my stomach,
like you have one side of a rubber band,
the other side wrapped around my intestines
stretching and pulling as you fade into the distance.
A sharp snap when you never look back.

My mind is drained
looking for a way
to be less used
like the back side
of the page.

Time advances, mightily
As soldiers do on battlegrounds
With no regard for anyone
Some may say
So why do we count seconds down
As they travel forward?
Marching one by one
Through gold or grey
Are we missing out on
The next ticking clock
or the next soldier's walk?
Will we find the might to fight and stay?

Never seen, hardly told
Passed around once or twice, it comes back twisted
Everyone looks- but looks can be deceiving
It's presence is present-less when presents take precedence
It's neither right nor wrong
It's merely lies within us
It's the truth
The ugly truth

My thoughts are empty
and my mouth is dry
my chest is heavy
and my eyes can’t cry.
you’re staring at me
waiting for me to speak,
so I shrug my shoulders
and shake my head,
would you understand that
the words I’m searching for
do not exist?
I take your hand and squeeze it tight
hoping you have learned
to read my mind.
I wish I could hold you
hug you and kiss you
run my fingers through your hair
and study your eyes.
*all I can give you now
is a promise:
that I loved you yesterday,
and I will love you tomorrow;
today my mind flows wildly
like dust from a supernova,
exploding into infinite space,
destined to form a new star.
a New love, a new spark of light,
but not today.
I promise I love you tomorrow.

3 things
a man creates
happiness
a profit
beauty

every day
we choose
to create

every day
we sacrifice one
for another

profit for happiness
happiness for beauty
beauty for profit

it is a strange
and difficult task
to balance
the three
but to be a man
demands balance

to sacrifice balance
to sloth and greed
is the greatest crime
a man can commit
upon himself

so every day
we choose

’Twas noontide of summer,
  And midtime of night,
And stars, in their orbits,
  Shone pale, through the light
Of the brighter, cold moon.
  ’Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
  Her beam on the waves.

  I gazed awhile
  On her cold smile;
Too cold—too cold for me—
  There passed, as a shroud,
  A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
  Proud Evening Star,
  In thy glory afar
And dearer thy beam shall be;
  For joy to my heart
  Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
  And more I admire
  Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.