Love
What is love

Love happens for sixth months
then your existence is no longer new
but use to

Affection

Affection is the sweetness that hands give
and the kind words that flow thoroughly
We give it all, until what you give is given back thoroughly with rejection

Trust

Trust is nothing more than a must
Without it,
even his innconent flirting will no longer make you feel sane


Reassurance

Reassurance  is when you're no where but your lowest with the noose tied gently around your neck, and with every high hope you'll receive a simple peck and the words that it'll be okay

or you'll get "sweetheart this is our truce", and they'll watch your body sway,  because you couldn't get it any loose.

We began to know each other when our minds spiraled downwards toward the rabbit hole. When everyone else were distorted, we, we were beautiful. You were beautiful. So beautiful the sight of you made me cry. And as our minds took us somewhere else, so did your hands, on my body. Exploring every delicate detail that lied there. My birth mark, my scars. And you'd kiss them and make the internal pain go away. God you were so ******* beautiful, and I loved you so much. It was a dream to be in that state with you. Too good to be real. So when we started coming down, back to reality. When everyone started to look the same, when you started to look like everyone else. When you began to scold me for my scars, and when your touch began to leave blacks and blues on my skin the sight of you made me cry.  Because I knew, I knew it was too good to be true. Now I lie here and look at you and think, who are you?

I didn't leave another thing
but a single thing
tucked in the bathroom drawer

I didn't need it
or want it

but I wanted to go back and get it
just so we can have another awful goodbye
and so before I leave
youd pull me into your arms
and tell me you love me

and we'll be okay again
until we're not.

so I could leave another single thing
when you tell me to leave  

it'll only the eighth time you have
but that's ok
because im willing to come back every single time

and do it again and again.

Love *****. And it's hard to let go.

I thought I knew what real heartache felt like. But I didn't, not until now. My heart physically hurts, and I can't breathe. Every time I think a little more, a little more it hurts. I feel like I'm suffocating. Like I'm in a dark closed box, tightly squeezed and getting out isn't possible.

I saw him for the first time in a month. The first time we've spoke even, and nothing seemed to have changed. I'm not sure wether to feel scared or happy about that. We got so ****** we passed out on his bed where we both use to lie. Being in his presence became the most comfortable feeling i felt in awhile. And as he lied next to me, he scooted and wrapped his arms around my bones and whispered he missed me, and went back to sleep. I don't want to leave. I want to stay where I am, like this, us and everything forever.


I'm afraid of what's going to happen once I leave again.. what's going to happen with us, with me? I don't want to be alone.